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THE MOTHER OF George Washington--much in the news lately because of the college that bears her name--has been subjected to excessive criticism by some historians and excessive sentimentality by others. Since she spent more than half a century in our neighborhood, we have a particular responsibility to improve our acquaintance with her and to portray her justly.
Married to a man who departed from the customary occupations of the gentry and caused the family's relocations, Mary was widowed at 35 and reared their five young children alone. And although she was fortunate to have inherited land and some personal possessions from her own family, still her life on the Rappahannock farm can probably be characterized as Spartan.
She was a stern but kind parent, according to a young visitor in her home. We do have a pleasant recollection by a Falmouth merchant "who lately had the honour to dance with her."
Mary was a simply educated woman. Only six of her brief letters survive, but there were more. She signed herself to her children, "Your loving and affectionate mother." Her son George, in his early career, signed a letter to her "Your most affectionate and dutiful son."
Do we really know Mary Washington? Women in colonial times received so little attention that we must assemble our impressions from brief references. But there are several clues to her character.
The first words that come to mind are "independence of spirit." We know that when her son George was 14, she declined to let him go to sea, facing down the opposition of two gentlemen with the rank of esquire who considered her objections "trifling."
We know also that while George was still in his teens, Mary consulted with her brother Joseph in London about building a house for herself on her own land at Little Falls Run so that the Rappahannock farm could be her son's residence. His inheritance of Mount Vernon made the move unnecessary, but her intent was clear.
After her children left the farm, Mary remained there another 13 years. She evidently resisted or at least postponed her move to town for a decade. She had lived on a farm all her life, and town life was still not popular among many people of her class. But in the new neighborhood created by her son-in-law, there were caring associates--her lawyer James Mercer, her son Charles, her doctors, the able Charles Dick whom she had known for almost 30 years, and of course, Fielding Lewis, more a son than a son-in-law, and her daughter Betty.
Mary never lost her desire for independence; we have the evidence supplied by her own hand in a letter she wrote to George in 1782. She was well past 70 and Fielding Lewis' death had made her own future uncertain. But whatever happened, she wrote, "I will go in some little house of my own if it is only twelve foot square."
There are no portraits of Mary Washington and no descriptions of her. A reliable account describes her clothing as conservative, and she wore no jewelry. A Fredericksburg neighbor described her in 1783 at the age of 75 as "active and sprightlywithout the least affectation of magnificence."
In her last decade, Mary Washington endured many hardships, including concern for her son George. Food was in scarce supply while the fighting was on Virginia soil. She suffered several critical illnesses. She lost a son, Samuel.
But it was the loss of Fielding Lewis which may have contributed the most to her declining health. He had been not only her principal care giver but also the linchpin of local family relationships. His death left George Washington, far away in New York in a military crisis, ill-informed and impatient regarding his mother's needs and other family matters. (And too many modern historians have based their own ill-formed interpretations of Mary on these trying years.) Once he returned to Virginia, Washington came quickly to Fredericksburg to pay respectful tribute to his mother.
If Mary Washington had not lived beyond the normal life span of her times, she would today be little more than a footnote in her son's biographies. The controversial presentation by recent historians has at least brought her into our national history. We are fortunate to have had her as one of our citizens. Perhaps if we can find the means to know her better, we might also better understand her famous son.
PAULA S. FELDER is a Fredericksburg historian.