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Parents have to try to be patient with kids who are acting up

Be patient with kids on errands, and if they're acting up, just go home.

Date published: 7/12/2005

Y OU'RE TIRED, you're cranky, and you're trying to get through your grocery list. This is your third stop of the day.

Oh yeah, and you're with your kids. Who have been fighting in the car and fighting in the stores and generally acting like that four-letter word that starts with B.

You feel like you have "Bad Parent" tattooed across your forehead.

And you'd like to have your own little tantrum, too.

What should you do?

Try to relax, said Julie Rivnak-McAdam, executive director of the Rappahannock Area Council for Child Abuse Prevention.

Parents should know that it's normal for young children to get restless and sometimes difficult to handle, particularly when running errands, Rivnak-McAdam said. It's normal for 2- to 3-year-olds to scream and have temper tantrums.

Remember that keeping the kids happy while running errands can be even tougher in the summer months. Hot temperatures can test tempers, and you might have more children to deal with since school's out, she said.

If the kids are really acting up, don't be afraid to just take them and leave, she said.

Leave your shopping basket if you have to. Tell a cashier or manager on the way out that you're sorry, but you have to go. It happens, she said.

Take the kids to the car for a time-out. Give them a few minutes to calm down so you can go back into the store. If they don't, then just go home.

If possible, go shopping with your partner, she suggested. That way, they can take the kids out to the car for a time-out and you don't have to abandon your items. She said she and her husband used this technique often when her daughter was younger.

Try to stay calm, even if you're exploding inside.

Children will pick up on your stress level and become even more difficult to control. If you feel like you're getting the "Bad Parent" looks from other adults, just ignore them.

Make sure you put some thought into your errands, too, she said. Don't plan shopping trips during times when your child is likely to be tired or hungry.

What if you feel like you're constantly yelling at your kids?

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Date published: 7/12/2005