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Fool's gold, modern life, and Greed Inc. page 2
Don't be fooled by those sweepstakes scams

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RICHARD AMRHINE
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Date published: 8/28/2005

By RICHARD AMRHINE

continued

Wow. I have no idea what that means, but you sure have a way with words. Just to save time, please take out the $20.49 Priority Release Fee, and make the check out for $676,324.28.

And Mr. Emerson, we would never overlook you, and Access America Financial Group, for the check for $567,000.87. You all are in Las Vegas, too. How about that. Thanks for letting us know we are "guaranteed winners," and for assuring us that we "have been authorized to claim, and will receive a signed bank check to cash or deposit as you choose."

How clever of you and your organization to send such an official-looking check in such an official-looking envelope. Why, I was about to take it right to the bank until I noticed the little words, "not negotiable/not a check" down in the corner. Aren't you the kidder. Almost put one over on me.

Anyway, just take out the $24 you asked me to send in and make the check for $566,976.87.

Mr. Lewis, it's nice of you to write also, although I guess times are a little tough over there at the Advanced Documenting Institute, because your check is for only $125,000. But since your company is in Las Vegas as well, maybe you could visit Payment Access Services, Access America Financial Group, Las Vegas Actionable Awards Program, and U.S. Sweepstakes Advisors, and see how they're able to have bigger checks to send out.

I think part of it might be that you're asking me to send in only $2.75, which you can go ahead and deduct from the check before you send it.

You do have a plan that would allow you to debit my checking account $2.75 a month for the rest of my life. The others don't have that very convenient option, so maybe you could teach them a thing or two.

Last, but certainly not least, thank you, Mr. Washington of American Sweepstakes Publishers of Shawnee Mission, Kan., for the Official Cash Prize Data Documentation Certificate for $254,204. I appreciate your honesty in saying that I have to actually enter in order to win the money.

Well, consider me entered, and just take the $12 fee out and send along a check for $254,192.


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