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MODERN-DAY DeBS Sorority sponsors students in debutante process

November 13, 2005 1:06 am

By CATHY DYSON

To a group of teenagers trying to learn a formal dance, "curtsy" might as well be a foreign word.

It seems as outdated as powdered wigs and wooden teeth, and it isn't nearly as easy as it looks.

But if these girls want to be presented to society as debutantes during a formal ball, they must be able to bend and bow at the right moments.

Twenty high school students from across the Fredericksburg area have spent the better part of two months learning just that.

By the night of the ball, the girls will have devoted at least seven of the past 10 weekends to preparations. The debutante process and cotillion is sponsored by the local chapter of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority.

During workshops, the girls have learned which fork to use first and how to make proper introductions.

They've studied the finer points of makeup and wardrobe, hair and nail care.

They've walked with their heads up and their stomachs held in, practicing in the same heels they'll wear to the ball.

Their efforts will pay off on Saturday, when the debutantes and their escorts will look like characters out of a fairy tale.

The young ladies will be decked out in white gloves and dresses; the young men in tuxedoes.

Many of the debutantes will wear actual wedding gowns, as elaborate as those pictured in bridal magazines. Some of their parents may feel like they've spent enough to get a daughter married.

The couples will glide along the dance floor of the Holiday Inn Select in Central Park, as about 400 friends and family members watch from the sidelines.

The first dance will be the minuet.

No doubt, it will go smoother on Saturday than it did during rehearsals in September and October.

Twenty girls wearing jeans and sneakers are gathered in the cafeteria of Chancellor High School in mid-September. There's a lot of talking among the girls until Clintina Hankerson gets ready to start.

Tall and thin, Hankerson is one of those teachers who speaks softly when she wants attention. She's not about to scream above the noise generated by teenagers.

When she explains the minuet to the girls, she tells them they'll have to curtsy several times during the dance. Everyone watches when she demonstrates.

She puts one foot forward and bends both knees with ease. Just as gracefully, she lowers her upper body, almost to the ground, as if the queen of England had entered the room.

When the girls try it, they look more like court jesters.

The debutantes have the limber bodies of 17- and 18-year-olds, but they shake when they try to strike this pose. Some of the girls are cheerleaders and field hockey players, but they look like they'll topple over on the floor.

One debutante wonders if she can wear a knee brace under her gown the night of the ball. She's going to need the support.

Once more, Hankerson demonstrates a curtsy.

This time, the 54-year-old music teacher holds the pose so long, the young women surrounding her gasp in disbelief.

"Dang," one says.

A month later, the girls bring their escorts to rehearsal. The noise level doubles along with the attendance.

The group members are fairly quiet during a 90-minute discussion of table manners. They listen as Denise Christopher-Millner of Baltimore goes over dozens of social dos and don'ts.

Escorts should be attentive, say "please" and "thank you" and never leave their debutante's side unless she goes to the restroom.

Everyone should sit straight in their chairs. No elbows on the table. Start with the appetizer fork--the one farthest away--and work your way toward the plate.

This time, the group is in the Chancellor High library. Their chairs are arranged in a circle between the biographies and a Thanksgiving display with Brunswick stew.

One table is set with seven servings, another with four. Sorority members who introduce the etiquette speaker tell the teens they'll be able to sit down and eat with the president of the United States after they complete this class.

Fortunately, there's not a test because there's a lot of talking between courses. The members must be paying attention, though, because several start whispering when one escort has a baseball cap on his head.

"Take your hat off," one debutante tells him.

"Yeah, that's a 'don't,'" says another.

Xi Upsilon Omega Chapter is the local branch of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority.

The chapter has sponsored debutante balls since 1985 and has ushered 140 young ladies into society, according to this year's souvenir journal.

Each of the 65 members--or "sorors" as they call themselves--is supposed to get involved with some aspect of the event.

The ball and the process leading up to it is so much work, the sorority does the event every other year. Three women, called tri-chairs, oversee the workload.

"It's a huge undertaking," said Pamela Gardner, one of the chairs.

The others are Rhonda Cunningham-Still and Gwendolyn James.

The girls are invited to become debutantes in the spring. The sorority seeks recommendations from guidance counselors and school officials. The group looks for students who will be juniors or seniors by the time of the ball.

The girls must have at least a 2.5 grade-point average.

Girls have to provide transcripts, and parents have to pay a $250 debutante fee, according to the handbook.

The families also have to raise at least $1,000 through fundraisers, such as dances, chicken dinners or letters asking for support. The average amount each girl raises is $5,000 to $8,000, says Jeannette Ellis, president of the sorority.

Half of what the girls raise goes toward their own scholarships. The sorority uses the other half for future balls and various community causes, especially those that focus on education.

Thirty-six of the sorority's 64 members are current or retired educators, according to S.J. Cordell-Robinson, a local chapter member.

The chapter has a few informational sessions with debutantes in the spring and a cultural event in the summer. This year's trip was in August, to the National Black Theater Festival in Winston-Salem, N.C.

Activities really pick up in mid-September, when the girls start meeting regularly. At the first such session, a luncheon in Fredericksburg, sorority member James tells the debutantes it's time to clear their calendars.

"From here on out, you girls are going to be hitting the ground running," she says.

These girls are already busy.

Eight of the 20 are on the student council, seven are James Farmer scholars, six are National Honor Society members and five are involved in music and dance.

Four are class presidents and two attend the governor's school.

Sixteen are active in their churches.

The girls go to school in Caroline, Spotsylvania and Stafford counties, as well as Fredericksburg. Their interests are as different as the gowns they'll wear to the ball.

Whitney Hinnant, the senior class president at Massaponax High School, is involved in sports, clubs and honors programs. In her bio, she says she feels "blessed with the gift of gab" and hopes to become a diplomat or ambassador.

Starlette Anderson of Caroline High School has had perfect attendance her entire school career.

Titania Kizer of Massaponax is writing her second book.

Ashley Henderson of James Monroe High School hopes to own a musical and theatrics company after college. She plans to call it Ashley Productions.

ReKita Keys of Caroline High has been doing hair since middle school--and people now pay for her skills.

"I bought all of my school clothes this year," she said.

Speaking of clothes and those who collect them, it's clear that the debutante process appeals to a certain type of girl.

That's why LaShawn Lee was chosen from Chancellor High School, according to her mother.

"I wouldn't say she's a snob, but she likes to dress a certain way, she likes to get good grades, and she has zero tolerance for foolishness," says Vikki Lee. "She's in her element now."

Most of the debutantes listed shopping or fashion among their main interests. They are teenage girls, after all.

Kristina Bundy of James Monroe is one of those busy young ladies, with time divided among school, church and a job. But no matter how pressed she may be, she won't leave home until she's properly dressed.

She'd never wear Tommy jeans with a Southpole shirt or Nike shoes with Adidas gear.

"If the brands cross in any way " she says, shaking her head as if she'd be committing the ultimate fashion sin.

Speaking of clothes and sin, the sponsors make it very clear what kind of dress code they expect.

Floor-length gowns should be white with no spaghetti straps or plunging necklines.

Strapless gowns are not allowed. Accessories should be simple.

Or, as sorority member James explained: "Not a lot of bling."

Throughout the event, the chapter members try to balance the expectations of high society with the reality of teenage behavior.

At one point, the girls ask if they can keep dancing after the formal ball ends. James tells them they can, and they may want to invite some friends to come with them.

Then, she thinks about what she's just said.

"I'm taking for granted that the people you invite are on the same caliber that they will have the same manners and the same pleasantries that we've come to expect from you guys."

James pauses and adds: "Do I need to break that down?

"No," the girls answer.

Teacher Hankerson says there's always discussion within the sorority over what kind of dancing the girls should do.

Some believe the movement should be dignified and not allowed to turn into a funk fest. The girls are wearing white wedding gowns, after all.

This year, after the minuet, the couples will do a "soulful minuet" and dance to R. Kelly's "Step in the Name of Love."

But students don't know dances such as the waltz or fox trot anymore. Is the sorority supposed to undertake them as well?

Teaching the minuet can be tough enough, Hankerson says, and it has a limited number of steps.

Then, there's all the other aspects of behavior the instructors have to stress, including proper grammar at the proper time.

After a rehearsal in late October, the girls are talking--again--when one of them says, rather loudly: "Yes you is. Yes you is."

Hankerson corrected her.

"Yes you are, " she said, using her hands for emphasis. "After this whole process we're going through, you should say, 'Yes you are .'"

Sorority member Cordell-Robinson, who teaches French at James Monroe, hears that all the time. Sometimes, she even says it herself.

She's proper when the situation calls for it. Other times, "I'm like, 'Girl, puh-leze .'"

Teenagers are the same way, she says.

Learning when to be serious and when to use all those social graces that have been acquired is part of the debutante process.

The 2005 Debutante Cotillion will be held Saturday. Photos and a story from the ball will be published in the Nov. 27 Life section.

To reach CATHY DYSON: 540/374-5425
Email: cdyson@freelancestar.com