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What all those holiday update letters should really say
Columnist writes the kind of Christmas letter that would be a hoot to get, or send
Date published: 12/22/2005 By Holiday Hedelt WE ALL GET THEM at Although I look forward to catching up with friends this way, and have even considered sending out a letter of my own, there's something just a little too precious and self-congratulatory about the most extreme of these Christmas letters. To make that point, and have a little fun with this holiday tradition, I decided to write the kind Or, for that matter, send out. Dear Friends,So much has happened since our last endless missive, it's hard to know just where to start. But because the law just hauled our Jimbo off to the hoosegow, that's probably a good place to begin. We'd been telling Jimbo for years he ought to be a little more careful with those tall, leafy plants out behind the house. But he'd just grin and mumble something about keeping up with demand. It'll be sad not having him at the table Christmas Day, but Mother and I were glad to learn we can take him a carton of cigarettes and some chocolate Santas during jail visiting hours between noon and 2. Little Suzie has gotten better news, with her modeling career really taking off. Yes, it was tough to pay that agency $50,000 for just one session with a photographer and posing coach, but we just know it's going to bring big things for her in the new year. Already, it helped her earn a hostess gig at Moe's Wings and Things on Tuesday nights. And since Tuesday night is their hot wings special, with free pitchers and three free bowls of dipping sauce, it's another chance for our precious Suzie to get more exposure. So what if the outfit she has to wear isn't much bigger than a chicken wing? The nice people at the Fly By Night Modeling Agency tell us that any kind of exposure is just that, exposure.
Date published: 12/22/2005
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