Heart stones: Not gone and not forgotten. These stained-glass steppingstones of Vivien, Gabriel, Quinnton, Abroham, Izobel and Bonnie are reminders that a dog's friendship is a permanent treasure. The stones are by Spotsylvania County artist Karen Jones. SARAH A. FERRELL

How long does it take to grieve for a beloved pet? It takes as long as it takes. By Sarah A. Ferrell

Date published: 2/25/2006

MY DESK IS a mess. Books on dog behavior, dog meditation, dog massage, tales of dogs rescued to their forever homes and dog picture books pile everywhere.

Time cleaning can be better spent reading, with a big, warm dog stretched across my lap. Did anyone ever lie gasping their last breath thinking, "I should have cleaned up"? Does history record anyone ever wheezing out a death rattle of " Bring me the vacuum"?

My book collection reflects an abiding interest in how to cope with the agony of grieving for beloved dogs whose lives have ended. Understanding the emptiness of facing the death of a beloved pet, and our conscious and unconscious need to examine memories of dogs that have loved us, is a common theme in conversations with men and women who have been graced to know a dog as best friend and companion.

Dog people share an unbreakable bond of understanding the myriad ways that human lives are made rich by experiencing a bond with the canine species. When you meditate on how dogs and humans become true family members, our will and our need to share our lives with another species may strike you as miraculous.

For anyone requiring proof of this unbreakable human-canine bond, we have to look no further than into the faces of humans separated from their canine family members during any life-threatening disaster. During the horrors of the flooding of New Orleans, news coverage showed an exhausted, frantic man swimming in circles refusing to be rescued by any boat that would not include his dog. This reminded me of all the people who so love their dogs that parting with them while they were alive cannot be countenanced. Whether logical, wise or advisable, many dog lovers' worst nightmare is to be unable to protect their pet.

Date published: 2/25/2006