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Fredericksburg-area mothers swap photos and stories about their boys over coffee and sweets at the Spotsy Spot Laura Zastrow (left) and Gina Carter share a laugh with fellow club members. Oh, the stories they can tell about their sons. |
By KIM BAER
The women gathered.
One by one or in groups of two, they walked into the coffee shop near Spotsylvania County Courthouse.
Many ordered chocolatey iced coffees topped with whipped cream. Some chose desserts as well, dark fudgy brownies or soft, round cookies.
The rich food was fitting for this royal assembly. For on this night, these women were queens.
It's Good to Be the Queen is a club for moms who have only boys to get together to celebrate life in boy land.
Linda Marie Ford of Dallas, Texas, started the group four years ago. Since then, chapters have formed across the country.
Robin Wisner of Orange County, who has two boys, read about the national group in The Free Lance-Star and decided to start a chapter here. Members of the club met for the second time last month at the Spotsy Spot.
The women from the local chapter donned pink and silver tiaras. But there's more to this coffee klatch than girl time.
If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then moms who have only boys spend a lot of time trying to figure out the other species.
They have to, they say.
It's hard out there for a boy.
They've heard the statistics: boys mature later than girls, boys lag behind girls in reading and writing and have more dust-ups at school.
They want to make sure that their boys succeed in careers and in relationships.
That's why Phyllis Gibson of King George County teaches her two boys to be Southern gentlemen. She reminds them to say please and thank you, to refer to adults as "Mr." and "Mrs."
It's why Sarabeth Wallace has learned her two boys' "love languages."
She knows one needs cuddle time in front of the TV with Mom, the other loves board game time.
As these women shared their stories, others nodded.
They know.
Many marveled that the same boys who will set up elaborate battle scenes also play "family" with their stuffed animals.
"Little boys are so sweet," said Gina Carter.
"More than we give them credit for," added Wisner.
They swapped funny stories about life with boys, like pretending to get excited about the "millionth" battle scene. Another laughed about frantically ripping up carpet after her 2-year-old found a creative way to make dirt for his trucks to navigate.
They talked about nature versus nurture. Their boys are growing up so fast. Too fast, maybe. Their boys love competition. It's funny, of course, the race amongst their boys to see who can brush their teeth the fastest, who can tie their shoes first.
But many said they wonder: Are they instilling this competitive streak in their boys or is it part of their biological make-up?
The most concern came from moms with boys approaching their teen years.
Those little ones who would say "just one more hug, Mommy," are now distant.
Wisner shared how odd it was to see 12-year-old girls following her older son at a recent outing.
One girl finally came up and said "Nice hair," then giggled and ran off.
Her boy was utterly uninterested. She remembered trying to get boys to notice her at that age. She wondered if they were playing hard to get. Now she knows.
"They really weren't paying any attention to me," she said, laughing.
At the end, the women brainstormed ideas for future meetings. They discussed getting manicures and pedicures. Playing games, maybe Bunco. But mostly, they will gather to talk.
"It's camaraderie," said Gibson. "I think you have to have sons to appreciate having sons."
To reach KIM BAER:
Email: kbaer@freelancestar.com
| Want to join?
The Fredericksburg- For more information, contact Robin Wisner at robin@robinwisner.com. |
| Top five signs you're a mother who has only boys (culled from a recent It's Good to Be the Queen meeting):
It's snowing inside. At least it is when a 2-year-old opens the refrigerator door and tosses white rice all over the living room. Happy Mother's Day. Here's a bug key chain. First, the scrunched-up pity face. Then the words: "Oowwhh. You didn't get your girl." Legos. Legos. And more Legos. "Watering the bushes" takes on a whole new meaning. |
