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habits supportive environment key Willpower isn't enough

February 18, 2007 12:50 am

"IDON'T NEED to talk to a dietitian because I already know what to do," a man told me last week. "My problem is willpower."

Willpower is a myth. If a car is stuck in mud or snow, it does no good to keep pressing the gas--that power just spins the wheels, deepening the rut.

Instead, a good driver rocks the car forward and in reverse, turning the wheels side to side to get out of the rut. Sometimes the driver needs to ask others for a push or tow for a short way.

Likewise, it takes more than willpower to escape bad habits.

First, you need to figure out what rut you're in, and then map a new way out. Common obstacles to healthy eating and exercise include tempting environments, difficult people, tight money, lack of time and mistaken ideas about perfection and rebellion.

Do you find yourself overeating because the cookie jar on the kitchen counter is calling your name? Change your environment. Hide the cookie jar inside a cabinet, and put a bowl of fruit in its place on the counter.

If you can't change your environment, which can be the case at a party or in a workplace filled with goodies, role-play your new response. For example, in the mirror or with a friend, practice turning down a second slice of cake at a birthday party, or a doughnut at the office.

If friends or family members are making it difficult for you to choose healthier foods, ask them for help. For example, you might say: "I'm trying to lower my cholesterol. I know we like to eat french fries and pizza, but I'm hoping to eat them less often to protect my heart and have more energy. What healthy foods can we eat more often?"

Also, enlist a buddy to call you weekly and ask how your exercise or eating plans are going. Being accountable helps you stay motivated.

You can eat healthy foods on a budget if you plan ahead and buy foods in season. (See my article "Eat well, save money," online at fredericksburg .com/News/FLS/2004/112004/11142004/1550885.)

You also can get a free book titled "Recipes and Tips for Healthy, Thrifty Meals" from the government, online at cnpp.usda .gov/USDAFoodPlansCost ofFood.htm.

That book was written for truly poor people who get food stamps. If they can eat well, you can, too.

Also, you don't need to join an expensive gym to be more physically active. Walking is free, as is dancing to music on the radio, or following yoga classes on DVDs available at your public library.

Stress can lead to bad habits like emotional overeating. Avoid it by sleeping six to eight hours a night and writing out a list of nonfood ways to comfort yourself, like calling a friend, shooting hoops, soaking in a warm bath, patting a pet or reading the funnies. Counseling may be helpful, too.

If you lack confidence about cooking well or exercising, seek an expert, like a dietitian, physical therapist or lifestyle coach.

Also keep in mind that it's silly to punish yourself for occasional missteps such as missing a day of exercise. Tell yourself that no one is perfect--you just need to make good choices most of the time, not all the time. Don't wallow; just get back on the wagon.

Lots of folks feel rebellious when told they "should" do something.

If you criticize yourself for what you should be doing but aren't, you may make your inner child sassy and resistant.

So instead of reprimanding yourself, try compassionately reminding yourself of your higher purpose.

For example, replace thoughts like "I hate that diabetes means I can't eat much birthday cake" with thoughts like "I'll enjoy a small piece of cake and balance the rest of my meal. I want to take good care of my health so I can "

Finish the sentence with something that motivates you--maybe you want to be around for your grandchildren, or travel or just feel energetic.

If you have no idea why you can't change, draw from your subconscious.

Take a blank piece of paper, and write in the middle one word describing what you want to do. Next, free-associate, writing any words or feelings that come to mind. Draw lines connecting them to the central word. Don't worry about spelling and grammar. You're not going to show this to anyone--it's just a way to unlock unconscious reasons for your bad habits.

For example, you might discover you're not making time to exercise because you procrastinate about other things in your life.

In the end, by spilling all your words and obstacles onto paper, you'll see clearly the path you need to take.

Jennifer Motl welcomes reader questions via her Web site, brighteating.com, or mailed to Nutrition, The Free Lance-Star, 616 Amelia St., Fredericksburg, Va. 22401.