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RELATIONSHIPS AREA CLERGY TALK ABOUT SEX SURVEY Spirituality has a place in bedroom

Let's talk about sex, and God

BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE

Date published: 9/8/2007

By Flowers Umble

BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE

Want to get closer to God?

Skip the pew and stay in bed. And have some fun.

A recent University of Texas study, "Why Humans Have Sex," found 237 reasons, including to get closer to God.

Area clergy aren't ready to swap Scripture study for foreplay.

"I don't think people go into it, saying, 'Hey, let's go worship God,'" said the Rev. Robb Almy, pastor of New Season United Methodist Church in Spotsylvania County.

But don't slam the bedroom door on God just yet: Many said he belongs there. In fact, clergy said sex can be spiritual.

In a lesson on sex, Almy taught, "God invented sex and saw that it was good."

The Rev. Scott Irwin said there are some similarities between spiritual and sexual experiences. As a youth pastor, he used to tell his teens not to pray alone with a member of the opposite sex.

"Because sex, really, is about intimacy, and so is prayer," said Irwin, head of Revolution Church in Fredericksburg.

Sex deepens relationships, said Rabbi Devorah Lynn of Beth Sholom Temple in southern Stafford County. And the loving relationships we create on Earth are a metaphor for a heavenly relationship with God.

So for Jews, sex isn't just for enjoyment. It's required within marriage, one of 613 commandments.

"It's a double mitzvah," Lynn said. Enjoying the Sabbath--a precursor to paradise--is another commandment or mitzvah, so--for married couples--having sex and having fun on the Sabbath fulfills two mitzvot at once.

Also, the Talmud--an oral tradition of interpreting the Torah--charges a husband with pleasing his wife sexually.

Irwin said Christians can turn to the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament for similar inspiration.

Getting closer to God was low on the list of reasons for sex in the University of Texas study.

The top reason people have sex? Physical attraction.

And God can be found even there, said the Rev. Stephanie Burns of Metropolitan Community Church of Fredericksburg.

After all, God created sexual attraction.

"The fact is our bodies are designed to receive pleasure from sex, and I think God was the architect of that," she said.

Want to know what the major religions think about sex? Take a spin on the virtual moral compass. Some grad students at The University of California at Berkeley put together the project as part of their exploration into "God, Faith and Family." You may click on questions about sex, such as what a religion's position on premarital sex, homosexuality or birth control is, then click through six major religions to compare them. Check it out at newsinitiative.org/ucb/moral-compass. Curious about the other 236 reasons people have sex? The University of Texas study came up with answers first by asking respondents why they or someone they have known has had sex in the past. A different group was then asked to rank the reasons to discover which ones were the most popular. Here are a few of the reasons: MOST POPULAR: I was attracted to the person. It feels good. It's fun. I wanted to show my love for the person. I wanted to achieve an orgasm. I wanted to feel connected to the person. It was a romantic setting. The person made me feel sexy. I wanted to increase the emotional bond. The person was a good kisser. It just happened. My hormones were out of control. I wanted to try out new techniques or positions. I wanted to celebrate a birthday, anniversary or special occasion.. LEAST POPULAR: I wanted to give someone a sexually transmitted disease. Someone offered me money. I wanted to get a raise. Because of a bet. I wanted to break up another's relationship. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization. I wanted to get a promotion. It was a favor to someone. I wanted to get rid of a headache.

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Date published: 9/8/2007