Candidates for the Senate District 28 seat Albert Pollard (left) and Richard Stuart shake hands earlier in the campaign. Peter Cihelka/THE FREE LANCE-STAR

Date published: 11/4/2007

WHEN campaigns go bad, politics becomes a very uncivil war. Sadly, that's what's happened this year in the race to fill the 28th District Senate seat being vacated by retiring Sen. John Chichester. The two candidates, Richard Stuart and Albert Pollard Jr., were friends at the beginning. Both are from the Northern Neck, both are honorable men, both are thoughtful moderates, both have much to offer Virginia. Yet feathers, first ruffled, began to fly during the campaign, and we are much the poorer for it.

I understand that going to war in politics is sometimes necessary: there are some issues, principles, and people worthy of the fight. But the bitterness and anger, the vitriol and accusations that have marked this campaign have been of the he-said, she-said variety. Neither of these men, if elected on Tuesday, will singlehandedly bring down the republic or deliver our children to be burned. So why all the contention?

Last February, embroiled in a personal conflict of my own, I attended a weekend peacemaking conference in Williamsburg. Of course, my friends and I knew that, in regard to the conflict, I was totally right. Certainly I was treading the moral high ground and was completely justified in my position. But some still, small voice speaking to my heart suggested there may be something I could learn from the principles of peacemaking.

In fact, there was a lot I needed to learn. When conflict erupts, conference leader Tara Bethel said, our tendency is to either escape or fight. We either kiss the relationship goodbye, or assault the other person. Either of these may feel good; neither puts us on the right path. The peacemaking response is a hand-over-hand rock climb to life on a higher plane: tough to do, but worth the effort. And it begins with the recognition that we are not God: It's not our job to perfectly control every situation in our lives.

Date published: 11/4/2007