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letting kids be kids competitive parenting
Date published: 11/11/2007
CHICAGO--I'm not sure when I lost the competitive-parent race. But make no mistake, I lost. Or rather, I decided early not to compete.
I'm not sure when it all began. But my kids didn't go to preschool because that seemed rather unnecessary to me, and I wanted them home for those years anyway. Later, my then-second-grade daughter, along with her classmates, were tested as a matter of routine for the "gifted" program, which began in third grade at her public school. I was barely aware of the testing, and only glanced at her raw number results before filing them away. So I was surprised when I received an e-mail from the teacher to all of the parents, literally begging them to stop barraging her with inquiries about the "cutoff" for the gifted program, before she herself had the information.
Flash forward: When my family moved to the Chicago area from the D.C. suburbs, I couldn't have been happier to discover that here, children were not expected to be fully reading in kindergarten. So I was more than a little pleased to read "Rush, Little Baby: How the Push for Infant Academics May Actually Be a Waste of Time--or Worse" by Neil Swidey of the Boston Globe. Featured in a recent Sunday Magazine, it was a great profile of parents who push their littlest kids to intellectual extremes. And for what?
He writes about mothers who show their 3-month-old reading and math flashcards every day. Several studies released in recent years show that such efforts have no positive effect on the child's cognitive development. But Swidey says that's just one part of the picture. Flashcards for babies "might actually be no more extreme than the increasing mania among professional parents to armor their youngsters with every educational enrichment program available--Baby Einstein DVDs at 3 months, junior Kumon tutoring at 2 years, SAT summer camps at 15--all at the expense of old-fashioned but vitally important unstructured play."
I wonder: Just how many parents today would admit to having a wonderfully average child? Maybe I'm not on that track because of how my parents raised me. I'm the youngest of five. Yes, there were a few horseback-riding and ballet lessons. But that was about it.
Date published: 11/11/2007
Most recent reader comments:
Parenting dilemmas
(posted by
lanefiller
, Nov. 11, 2007 8:51 am)
Anyone looking for a funny but real column on kids, parenting and television/bedtime disasters recalls should try: http://goupstate.us/index.php/lanefiller/2007/11/11/now_i_lay_me_down_to_sleep_if_only_disne
As I always say some parents are so caught up in
(posted by
, Nov. 11, 2007 8:06 am)
being a "good parent" that they forget
about the kids. I always wonder why the
most compet. parents are the ones who
usually are all the for "we're all winners,"
and "everyone gets a trophy" rules.
Trophies are for winners. Work hard and
win. Work hard and lose. Either way,
teach them to work hard and everyone
does win. While you're at it let them relax
and be kids too. Let them develop their
imagination. Theirs not yours. Good books
& plain old conversation work wonders in
that department.
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