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Boyfriend blues
Cohabitation brings increasing risk of child abuse
Date published: 11/25/2007
GOVERNMENT, most agree, has no business butting into citi- zens' personal lives. Yet few recognize how much individual choices affect families, communities, and, ultimately, the nation. Now experts warn that decisions people are mak- ing about marriage are exposing America's children to an increased risk of abuse.
The Associated Press points out ["Abuse risk to children growing," Nov. 19] that children living with cohabiting adults who aren't both their biological parents are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children raised by two natural parents. Children living in stepfamilies or in single-parent homes are at higher risk for physical and sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents. And girls whose parents divorce are more likely to be sexually assaulted no matter which parent gains custody.
When children bear the brunt of poor personal decisions, the nation also will. Culturally, cohabitation and having kids outside of marriage have become acceptable. In 2005, notes the Census, more than 4.8 million couples cohabited. Today, a third of all children are born out of wedlock.
Yet children raised in that circumstance are three times as likely to be expelled from school, five times as likely to live in poverty, five times as likely to commit suicide, and 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. The social costs of the decision to have children outside of marriage are enormous.
Although some proclaim that marriage is just a piece of paper, that love is what matters, these Aquarian conceits fail the reality test and look increasingly shabby as the statistics of abuse mount. Love may be as fleeting as a warm summer day; marriage is a commitment, a legal, social, and, many believe, spiritual partnership that, because it is somewhat difficult to dissolve, provides a degree of stability--a virtue when it comes to raising children.
Date published: 11/25/2007
Most recent reader comments:
My dad's gay, and he wasn't that great a father.
(posted by
f4td4ddy
, Nov. 27, 2007 11:45 am)  
Just because you are enlightened and gay, mr. HP, does not make you an excellent parent. Not everything is about your gayness or gay pride or gay rights. Get over yourself and stop crooning about how gay you are. Sheesh! Everyone is special and deserves special treatment. Are there "straight pride" festivals? How about "white guys united"? We all know you're gay, you can stop reminding us, pat.
cost of marriage
(posted by
VA_lover
, Nov. 26, 2007 10:40 pm)  
patrick, i'm with you on all counts but the one about couples not affording marriage. a marriage license isn't that expensive, and it's really the only necessary cost. if funds are really an issue, set some aside for that purpose. the marriage is about the union of two lives, not about the cost of the ring or the size of the party.
And what really amazes me
(posted by
patrick4hp
, Nov. 26, 2007 5:25 pm)  
is that anyone can who has sex can be a father or a mother, but it doesn't make them good fathers or mothers, but they can get married, while loving gay parents are told, get out of our state, and keep gay friendly companies that provide health insurance to gay couples out of here too! Well, we'll take the company, but not the progressive employee benefits. Sorry guys, but for this newspaper to support marriage is supporting hate,has the exact opposite effect. No wonder young people say no way to marriage
Here's my two cents
(posted by
patrick4hp
, Nov. 26, 2007 5:19 pm)  
1-When the Supreme Court legalized Sodomy as long as it was behind closed doors, for some reason, the FLS ran basically the same editorial, saying some VA law in place about cohabitation is best for children. But, when it comes to gay marriage, they want to keep the children of such unions illegitmate, bastards if you will. 2-Many couples can't afford to get married, and now, the Virginia Constitution bans domestic partnerships. Discrimination is the big form of child abuse, I am better than you.
Problems arise when....
(posted by
travelin_bone
, Nov. 26, 2007 5:09 pm)  
parents are not selective about who they leave unattended with their children. Some women throw caution to the wind when romance enters the picture. It's not about a ring or a legal document, because those can be obtained in a matter of hours. It's about thinking about the well-being of your kids and not looking for someone to play house after dating for 2 months.
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