Parents warned about cyber-bullying

by hugh muir

Date published: 3/4/2008

by hugh muir

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."--Children's chant

"Not true."--Andrew Bathke, assistant principal, Rodney Thompson Middle School

At a parents' workshop at Rodney Thompson Middle School last week on cyber- bullying and Internet safety, moderator Andrew Bathke, the school's assistant principal, was asked, "Why here? Why now?"

"Middle school is where and when it all begins," he replied. "This is the age when kids begin to seriously socialize, when the cliques form. You and I used to just pass notes in class. Now these students have the technology to text message across the room, or practically anywhere."

The problem with computer technology, Bathke added, "is that there is no moderating adult influence. We used to communicate directly with our peers in the school hallway, usually with a teacher standing nearby. Now it's easier to get away with saying hurtful things over a computer, things we would never say face-to-face."

It becomes cyberbullying, said Bathke, when a person intentionally hurts someone emotionally through the Internet. "A parent called me the other day," he said, "and told me her child had received an Internet message that made her afraid to climb on the school bus the next morning."

The sometimes tragic result of such activity is called bullycide. The term was created by the authors of a book on the subject that was published in January 2001, a month after the suicide of an 18-year-old Oklahoma student, Brandon Swartwood. He shot himself after years of being bullied and beaten by a classmate.

When Brandon complained to an unsympathetic principal, the bully falsely accused Brandon of making a bomb threat at the school. Even though he was exonerated, Brandon felt stained and finally put a gun to his head. The documented suicides of at least 15 other bullied students can also be read on the Web. Of the 16 total, nine were boys, seven were girls.

"In the world of computers," Bathke said, "there are what are called 'immigrants' and 'natives.' You and I," he told the parents, "are usually immigrants. Our children are natives of the computer world. We must learn our way around in it to help them avoid its dangers."

Thompson's student counselor, Terri Cox, says that parents who sense something is wrong with their child's relationships at school should call the school and talk with the counselor. Parents should also feel free to call 1st Sgt. Nancy Morin at the Sheriff's Office; her number is 540/658-4400. Look up "cyberbullying" or "bullycide" on the Internet to learn the scope of the problem. And most important, Cox says, talk with your child. --Hugh Muir

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Date published: 3/4/2008