'My Mother, Your Mother' speaks to many baby boomers who find themselves caring for their parents
Date published: 4/27/2008
THIS BOOK will literal- ly speak volumes to many baby boomers who find themselves helping aging parents through their late-life journey. Geriatrician Dr. Dennis McCullough recommends a new approach to elder care, "Slow Medicine," and his thoughtful observations bring a glimmer of hope to an often bleak scenario.
He focuses on the fastest growing group of elders, those over 80, and notes that there is a "looming tsunami of elder care needs."
McCullough laments the fast, often aggressive pace of American medicine, and points out the incongruity of a diagnosis-based, cure-focused approach to someone who is dying simply because they are old and at the end of their life. He points out the difference between disease and illness. He questions the unlimited use of tests and procedures for elders, and advocates a gentle approach that assesses the patient's mental state, remaining abilities, family situation and quality of life
In a personal, reflective style, he examines some of the issues facing our aging elders and offers practical solutions. Interspersed throughout is the story of his own mother, and how he and his family helped her through her later years.
McCullough addresses the "three D's," dementia, delirium and depression that frequently plague elders, and he describes ways to help them deal with doctor's visits, emergency-room trips, rehabilitation, post-crisis life adjustments, overmedication, frailty, loneliness, denial, living with chronic uncertainty, the sadness of prolonged death and much more.
McCullough cites the importance of a "Circle of Concern" for each elder, a group of people, family, neighbors, friends, clergy, who care about that person and may contribute to making his life happier, safer and more meaningful.
"My Mother, Your Mother" describes the optimal scenario for an aging senior, including a doctor skilled in "active listening" and loving family members who are willing to adjust their lives and schedules. Sadly, there are many situations where some or all of these factors are absent.
Two important areas are dealt with only briefly, advanced dementia and parents who adamantly refuse help from their grown children. Perhaps these potentially tragic topics would be material for a future book by this caring physician.
This book is a must-read for anyone with aging parents, or anyone who will one day be an aging parent. It is a blueprint of how life should work.
Peggy Carlson is on the newsroom staff of The Free Lance-Star
MY MOTHER, YOUR MOTHER By Dennis McCullough, M.D. (Harper, $2.95)
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