While Richie Sambora's love life has been a soap opera in the past, it may soon be making the leap to reality TV on 'Rock of Love.' Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images

Tom Cruise once had a fling with Cher, Nick Cannon is engaged to Mariah Carey, Bon Jovi's Richie Sambora is going to have a show like "Rock of Love," Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Ryan Reynolds and Gwenyth Paltrow is still bitter about her failed engagement with Brad Pitt

Date published: 5/8/2008

GYPSIES, TRAMPS & COUGARS

I like to start each morning with a little yoga and vomiting. (Do you know how many calories are in air?) So I'd like to thank Cher for helping me achieve the latter.

People.com reports that 110-year-old legend revealed to Oprah's audience that she used to be hot 'n' heavy with Tom Cruise back in the '80s. Tom was a naive young thing, fresh off of "Risky Business," and Cher was working hard to become her own drag queen. Cher remembered Tom as poor and shy, and also claimed she basically lived in his apartment.

If these accounts are more than just the senile ramblings of an elderly woman, then this explains a lot about Tom's behavior today. Few men have survived a Cher attack unscathed. No wonder he feels the need to worship science-fiction writers and shackle his wife to the radiator.

Oh, Tom, if I could turn back time, I'd break into that apartment and distract her with the sacrifice of a young Ashton Kutcher and a Bob Mackie dress, and set you free. It makes me smile just thinking of that butterfly effect.

CASH AND CAREY

Someone I wouldn't set free from the clutches of a predatory man-eater: Nick Cannon, who may just be the luckiest and smartest glorified cabana boy in the world.

The New York Post reports that Nick and Mariah Carey secretly married recently at MC's house in the Bahamas. Mariah, 38, just dropped yet another No. 1 album--and Nick, 27, must be blackmailing someone at MTV, because they keep green-lighting his sketch "comedy" shows.

This is Mariah's second marriage--her first was to mega-music-maker Tommy Mottola way back in her "Vision of Love" days. Nick used to be engaged to Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, which would make his move to Mariah a downgrade in hotness, but an upgrade in ka-ching!-ness.

According to the Post, most friends and family are happy for Mariah; some are worried because she pulled a Britney and allegedly eloped with no prenup, though other sources dispute that. Regardless, alimony pays way more than MTV. Mental high-five, Nick!

'ROCK' AND A HARD PLACE

It looks like those reality groupie-hunting shows on VH1 have finally worked for someone. SFGate.com reports that Bret Michaels has found happiness on the show "Rock of Love," with contestant Ambre Lake.

Since Bret's out, execs need to fill the spot with another '80s hair-band relic, and next up is Bon Jovi's Richie Sambora. After failing his marriage with Heather Locklear, and breaking up with his rebound (and Heather's BFF), Denise Richards, Richie is in the mood for love.

Date published: 5/8/2008

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