Commuting teaches family is more important than income

May 11, 2008 2:06 am

IMOVED to Virginia with my wife in 1997. I immediately followed my dream by getting a teaching job at Stafford Senior High School.

A year later, my wife joined me, and we taught down the hall from each other. Everything was pretty June and Ward until 2001, when she became pregnant with our first child, Isabella, and the hard, cold realities of the rising cost of living set in for us.

Before I knew it, I was commuting north to the land of inflated salaries. For the past seven years, I have spent five hours a day riding the VRE, Amtrak, Metro and buses, as well as braving Interstate 95 on my own. I have left the house as my two kids were just getting up and returned home as they were going to bed.

Watching the sun rise over the Potomac through a VRE window, I would often reflect on how much of their lives I was missing as I sat in traffic or aboard the train.

Finally, a year ago, I decided that I had built an impressive enough resume to land a position with a solid company closer to home. The issue was finding the time to look for one, because all of my time was spent getting to and from work, eating dinner and sleeping.

Then I attended the recent Fredericksburg Job Fair, which was held in the evening so people could actually attend. It was there that I made a significant discovery--the salaries offered near home are drastically lower than those in Washington for the same positions.

I expected that this would be the case, but seeing the numbers made the prospect more than slightly daunting. This was a decision that would need thought, especially after a great company at that job fair made me an offer a week later.

I struggled with the decision for several days following the offer. Do I pedal backward on income to work closer to home, or continue forward? In the end, it was my family that made the decision easy for me.

I arrived home about 7:30 in the evening several days ago to the usual scene of the kids nestled in bed, having story time with Mom. I entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. My 3-year-old son, Ethan, and 6-year-old daughter, Isabella, both yelled "Daddy," as they did each night when I got home before they were asleep.

I told the kids I had something to discuss with them. I asked what they thought about Daddy getting a new job that was close to home and being home early enough each night to have dinner with the family. Both kids screamed and pumped their fists in the air. They immediately began talking about barbecues, going to the park and all the other activities usually pushed to the weekend.

I hugged the kids, looked at my wife and knew the answer. How could I not?

I submitted my two-weeks' notice last week. Starting later this month, I will reduce my commute from five hours per day to less than an hour. Instead of working 55 miles from home, I will be working a mere 16 miles from home. Most importantly, instead of saying goodnight to my children by phone, I can say goodnight to them in person.

I do not regret the time I spent in Washington, as it allowed me to do much for my family. I do, however, know that it is time for me to return home and give my wife the help she needs and the kids the attention they deserve.

It might be all about the benjamins f or the Puff Daddys out there, but not this daddy; not anymore.

Lance Roeske of Spotsylvania County commutes to a job in Washington. Before joining the ranks of commuters, he taught English at Stafford High School. Write him c/o Commuter Crossroads, The Free Lance-Star, 616 Amelia St., Fredericksburg, Va. 22401. Or e-mail
Email: newsroom@freelancestar.com.