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Warren Burns is in New York for a suicide prevention walk with friend Pam Updike (left) and sister Heather Birch.
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Area man walks for suicide prevention
Area man represents family survivors in walk for suicide prevention and awareness
BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE
Date published: 6/7/2008
By Flowers Umble
BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE
Strangers tell Warren Burns, "I never told anyone this, but my husband killed himself" or "I once attempted suicide."
And the Spotsylvania County man who once couldn't understand the point of therapy now finds strength in sharing stories.
He hopes to find even more power this weekend, as he joins more than 1,000 people in New York City like him--people who have been touched by suicide.
At the annual Out of Darkness Walk, Burns was chosen to light a luminary during opening ceremony representing all spouses of people who've killed themselves. He did so to honor his wife, Beth, who overdosed on pills Jan. 30.
Afterward, Burns, his sister and some friends walked 20 miles through the city to raise awareness of suicide. But he also expected to find support from others who'd been affected by suicide.
Before the walk, he'd already raised more than $5,000 for the cause he feels so passionately about.
"To me, it's not even about the money," Burns said last week. "It's giving me a chance to heal."
That process has been slow, he said, since Beth took her own life.
She was 38, and "amazing, just the best mom in the world," Warren said.
He'd known Beth since they were in their early teens. In seventh grade, his parents let him write on the walls just before they put new paneling up. Burns wrote the name of his new friend and secret crush, Beth McGowan.
They first became best friends and by the middle of high school, they were dating. They graduated from Courtland High School in 1988 and married right after college.
"It's always been the two of us, we've always been together," Burns said.
In all that time, he didn't see any obvious signs that Beth was depressed or suicidal.
Days before she killed herself, Beth and her 7-year-old daughters celebrated the birthday they all share--January 26--and Burns said he "would bet my life suicide was not even on the radar."
But Beth became severely depressed. She overdosed on pills.
After she died, Burns called a grief specialist for advice on what to tell his daughters.
The truth, the specialist said. It's better for them to know now than to find out as teens.
Experts say the best way to prevent suicide is to recognize the signs:
Making comments about suicide or being hopeless, helpless or worthless
Worsening depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping or eating)
A sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing happy
Taking risks that could lead to death
Losing interest in things or drop in performance
Seeking access to guns or pills
Increasing drug or alcohol use
Withdrawing from family and friends
For help, call the national suicide prevention hot line at 800/273-8255.
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Virginia ranks 33rd in number of suicides. With 866 suicides in 2005, the state had a suicide rate of 11 percent.
In the United States, somebody attempts suicide about once a minute.
More than 32,000 Americans die by suicide each year.
Suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death. It is the fourth-leading cause of death among adults ages 16 to 65.
Every day, about 80 Americans take their own lives, and 1,500 more attempt to.
Guns are used in more suicides than homicides. They account for 52 percent of all suicides.
Women attempt suicide twice as often as men. Men kill themselves almost four times as often as women.
--American Foundation for Suicide Prevention |
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Date published: 6/7/2008
Most recent reader comments:
AFSP funds educate others on signs of depression
(posted by
be4thyme
, June 9, 2008 8:52 pm)
I just returned from the Out of the Darkness Walk in New York City and it was an amazing experience. My husband, my two sons, and I joined others to walk 20 miles all night long. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention helps better train physicians and schools on depression/screening for suicide. They work with politicians to pass important mental health bills. My son committed suicide in May 2006- this walk also helped our family heal and to give back. They are truly saving lives. Visit www.afsp.org
........(continued )
(posted by
gator98
, June 7, 2008 8:21 am)
..not only does a walk like this serve to encourage people to be more vocal about their mental illness, but it would probably be extremely valuable in the personal healing process. Maybe you should encourage Mr. Burns to continue being a wonderful role model for his 2 daughters and acknowledge that what he and other walkers are doing is, in fact, addressing the "roots" of the issue which is mental illness. But, someone who makes a comment like yours is lacking in so much... well, it's just a shame.
OMG
(posted by
hpdomi
, June 7, 2008 8:13 am)
Heartless. That's all I can say, Usefulldiot.
As for your heartless comment...
(posted by
gator98
, June 7, 2008 8:12 am)
maybe your time would be better spent reevaluating your ignorant comment. To compare what Mr. Burns has recently gone through with someone who has chosen a job for themselves or a choice to get in ove their heads by living a financial lifestyle which they really can't afford, well it's just absurd thinking. No doubt soldiers need to have their post traumatic stress treated, and I wouldn't doubt that some family members of a soldier or two were in this walk. Not only does a walk like this serve to...
Of Walks and Workshops
(posted by
UsefulIdiot
, June 7, 2008 7:12 am)
The problem with all this "awareness" is that it doesn't encourage people to address the real roots of the problem. Soldiers are committing suicides in higher numbers because they are involved in a hopelessly drawn out occupation. People in financial difficulty commit suicide when faced with a bankruptcy system designed to keep them enslaved to credit card companies for life. Perhaps the effort that goes into these walks and workshops would be better spent on ending the war and reforming bankruptcy.
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