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Virus killed Naval officer SUPPORT KILLED BY A MYSTERIOUS VIRUS MILITARY Deaths

July 4, 2008 12:15 am

By CATHY DYSON

For years, Warren Pellegrin didn't talk about the way his wife's death affected him.

He didn't have time.

When Navy Lt. Corinne Pellegrin died in 2001 from a virus contracted at sea, she left behind four children, ages 2 to 11.

The Spotsylvania County father--who's also an FBI agent--had to focus on them. When he wasn't "busting bad guys" in Washington, he was dressing as Raggedy Andy and taking cupcakes to his daughter's birthday party at school.

Pellegrin never had the chance to talk about losing the wife he describes as a "studette," an energetic and athletic woman who put herself through college, then the rigors of Officer Candidate School six weeks after their second child was born.

He felt such a sense of duty to support her, he left the Marine Corps to take care of the children so she could go to sea. After her death, he continued wearing his wedding ring for five years.

He thought he was the luckiest man in the world when she said, "I do," and he hadn't been able to move forward without her.

Until Hollywood came calling.

Last Easter, after Pellegrin finished an egg hunt with the kids, he answered his FBI-issued BlackBerry and heard the voice of actor John Cusack on the other end.

Cusack was making a movie about a father who has to tell his children their mother has been killed in Iraq. The actor wanted to know how Pellegrin handled breaking news of his wife's death to their children, as well as other trials.

The actor and the widower talked for hours. Later, there were conversations with writer and producer James Strouse as the movie "Grace is Gone" was filmed.

After the movie premiered to a limited audience last winter, Pellegrin took calls from widowers and journalists and spoke to 600 military officers and reporters at the National Press Club in Washington in January.

When the group gave a standing ovation, a friend asked Pellegrin how he felt.

"It was almost like a burden was being lifted off my shoulders," he recalled. "It was a new year. A new beginning."

INDEPENDENT CHILDREN

Nothing makes Pellegrin prouder than his children. Lindsey, 19, has finished her freshman year at Mary Baldwin College in Staunton and wants to be a photojournalist.

Sydney, 17, is a rising high school senior who went with her father to the Los Angeles premiere of "Grace is Gone" and turned every head in the room, her dad said.

Kyle, 13, is the only boy, and his father's landscaping and grass-cutting assistant.

Most of the memories Shanna, 9, has of her mother are ones the family "built for her" by recalling things the two did together, Lindsey said.

Lindsey and Sydney, who seem more like best friends, did the laundry, put meals on the table and ran the household when their father worked late.

"I think a lot of kids rely on somebody else to do stuff for them," Lindsey said, "and we like to do things ourselves. We're a lot more independent than most kids."

That was apparent recently when the family returned from a weekend trip.

Shanna has a rabbit named Speed Racer. After she made sure her sister fed and watered the pet, Shanna noticed the bunny's bedding on the floor.

Without being told to do so, the 9-year-old grabbed the broom and dustpan and swept up the mess.

"It's my rabbit, and my dad said I have to clean up after it," she said.

Pellegrin admitted he's taken a "firm, but loving" stand, then said he believes their mother influenced them as much as he has.

He has shown the kids her Bible and some of the handwritten notes she kept in it. The mother and father shared a strong faith and love of country, Pellegrin said.

Sometimes, instead of wondering "what would Jesus do?" he's often asked them: "What would your mother do in this situation?"

MILITARY SACRIFICES

On Sunday, Pellegrin took his family to the Stars and Stripes Spectacular at Spotsylvania Courthouse.

"They'll tell you that the Fourth of July has always been my favorite holiday," he said.

The family recently moved from Stafford to a subdivision near the Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park. Pellegrin likes to stress the sacrifice members of the military--and their families--have made since the country began.

But Sunday's outing also was cause for celebration. Not only has Pellegrin learned to deal with his wife's memory, he's also found a new love.

In January, he started talking with Shanna Hall, an FBI personnel manager.

"Things blossomed quickly," he said, almost gushing.

Hall and her 5-year-old twin girls recently moved into the new Pellegrin home.

Pellegrin, who moved around the world with his wife, chose to stay in the Fredericksburg area because of its strong "sense of community," especially among FBI agents and Virginia State Troopers.

He's looking forward to this new chapter in his life and hopes it includes another child.

"The more the merrier," he said.

huffingtonpost.com/warren-g-pel legrin

Cathy Dyson: 540/374-5425
Email: cdyson@freelancestar.com