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DO WE, as teenagers,
With both Mother's Day and Father's Day having already come to pass for 2008, my questions may not seem at all timely, but my experiences recently have made them so.
In my family, it has become tradition that, rather than shower my mother with gifts and homemade meals which serve only to stress her out, we simply send her away around the times of Mother's Day and her birthday.
This tradition began many years ago, when my parents had just begun their life together. My father claims he doesn't remember what specifically he did for my mom's birthday that year; but the end result was "suboptimal."
Resolving never again to allow his choice in gifts, words or destination to ruin her special day (be it her birthday or Mother's Day), he decided that he would eliminate all possibility of saying the wrong words, giving the wrong gift or choosing the wrong destination. From then on, my mother was to be sent away (generally within the continental U.S.) on her special days.
She loves it. Many of my mother's friends don't understand why she enjoys her trips so much--what woman likes to vacation alone? What woman likes to shop alone? What woman likes to be alone? As a general rule, my mother does. But she didn't always go alone--she used to take me with her.
No longer does this happen. As I have grown older, I have lost opportunities and gained them. I have exchanged old responsibilities for new ones. Generally, this is a transition teenagers have mixed feelings about, and I am no exception.
On the one hand, I long for the mommy-daughter time that was guaranteed twice
On the other hand, I am beginning to understand the need for my mother to be alone with herself from time to time (or even just twice a year), without being responsible for the peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches, the drives to swim team, the hygiene of four males and the general upkeep of the house.
Why am I beginning to understand? I was responsible for most of it during my mother's latest absence. Since I earned my driver's license, now I can go to the grocery store and buy groceries. I can wake up the boys, get them ready for swim team and even drive them there! I can nag and threaten and enforce hygiene. I can even do the dishes, set the table, make the dinner, vacuum, sweep and go to work.
Trying to organize my work schedule around the boys' various schedules, my father's schedule and my own proved impossible. But getting away from the house, at times, was a relief.
That's not to say that my father was no help whatsoever. When need be, he would take the boys out to a movie, enforce chore assignments or even cook dinner (always meat, mashed potatoes, green beans and corn--but one less responsibility and always tasty!). He did his best to lighten my load when he was home, especially as the week came to an end.
As I learned to appreciate my mother and all she does for me, my family and others, I was overwhelmed. I am rather proud of my vocabulary, and yet find it impossible to describe how thankful I have become, how humble I am becoming and how anxious I am at the thought of someday doing this all day, every day--even just for myself!
As a rising senior, college is becoming a very real and very imminent reality. Soon, I will be off on my own; soon, I will be without parental supervision--but sooner than that, I hope to be prepared.
Adrienne Poffenbarger is a rising senior at Riverbend High School.