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According to a recent
"Don't let fear of retributions stop you from speaking your mind," advises Lady Arabella Snark (aka A.C. Kemp, an English language studies lecturer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology). She's the author of "The Perfect Insult for Every Occasion" and this year's IYBD honorary chair.
"If you're already in the ninth circle of hell, what harm could it do to throw a little gasoline on the fire?" she asks.
The day "celebrates the suppressed antagonism felt by anyone who has ever had to work for a snake, jackass or weasel."
(The Free Lance-Star is not responsible for adverse side effects, including suspension, termination and a stern talking-to.)
But, as The Man (or The Woman), what can Insult Your Boss Day do for you? This:
Increase productivity. According to a 2007 survey by Salary.com, American employees waste roughly two hours a day, much of it complaining about you. Allow workers to attack you directly instead of behind your back, and you'll save hours normally lost kvetching around the water cooler.
Encourage teamwork. Do you wish your staff were more cohesive? In the immortal words of Condoleezza Rice, "We need a common enemy to unite us."
Boost morale. Have employees left your firm because they felt management wasn't listening to them? Holding special workplace events for Insult Your Boss Day lets workers know that you care what they think. If you can afford it, spring for a dunking booth.
Save money. Bottled-up anger and stress cost businesses billions of dollars in sick time. Why pay for mental health benefits all year when you can just let the floodgates open once a year on Insult Your Boss Day?
Stay alive. Nearly 20 percent of violent crimes happen at work, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Wouldn't you rather be insulted?
insultyourbossday.com
Howard Owen: 540/374-5539
Email: howen@freelancestar.com