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He's losing his BLT sandwich, one piece at a time TO THE POINT >>
The BLT needs some TLC, PDQ
Date published: 7/25/2008
WHO IS behind Is it Osama bin Laden and his followers or is it a communist conspiracy? Whoever it is, they need to stop. They are ruining my lunch! First, there was the lettuce scare. In the fall of 2006, the government warned us that this green, leafy vegetable, which is a main ingredient of the BLT, could be contaminated with the E. coli bacteria. "You can still eat a BLT," Washington said. "Just don't put any 'L' on it." Well, a BLT without lettuce isn't too bad. Bacon and tomato together on toast make a pretty good sandwich, if you add a little mayonnaise. So I gave up lettuce because I didn't want to trip over something and kill myself while running to the bathroom with E. coli problems. Last year, I watched this medical show on TV and some doctor started telling me about how bad bacon was for my cholesterol. If I ate bacon, he said, I would get grease in my arteries and might wind up dead--or worse. Bacon was bad stuff. So I began leaving bacon off my BLTs because I didn't want globs of grease clogging my blood vessels. That left me making BLTs that contained nothing but tomato and mayonnaise. I love tomato sandwiches. A couple of slices of tomato between two pieces of fresh light bread (with a smearing of mayonnaise) make a delightful sandwich. It was not much of a BLT but it was something I could live with. Oh! But that mayonnaise! A doctor friend began warning me that mayonnaise could clog my arteries just as badly as bacon. You should lay off the mayo, I was told. So, I put my spreading knife away. Then a nutritionist shook her finger and said that eating too much bread could cause me No more bread. Now I was faced with making a BLT that contained no lettuce, no bacon, no mayonnaise and no bread. In other words, all I was left with was a tomato. OK. There is nothing better than eating a good, juicy tomato. It's not exactly a BLT, but it is filling. Hey! Wait just a minute! Haven't you heard? Now, this tasty fruit of summer is also just about off limits. Tomatoes were suspected as the basis for an outbreak of salmonella poisoning, or so the government declared in April. We were told to watch those tomatoes. That just about kills the BLT. Without lettuce, bacon, mayonnaise, bread or tomato, you can't make much of a sandwich. Is all this coincidental? I'm beginning to wonder. It seems to me that some evil power is determined to force America into starvation and I think we need a congressional hearing to determine just who is behind this assault on the BLT. The government needs to find those mean people who took away my sandwich. I want my BLT back! Donnie Johnston:
Date published: 7/25/2008
Be bold Donnie
(posted by
msdaisy
, July 25, 2008 7:48 am)
Eat Oatmeal for breakfast to keep your cholesterol down, carry some Imodium for the E. coli, cut out that bowl of ice cream at night to keep your blood sugar under control and then tear that BLT up. Ummmmmm good! Life is too short to deny yourself a nice BLT made with homegrown tomatoes. Yummy! Don’t forget the salt and pepper.
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