Aping us

Spain may give apes 'human' rights-- What's next?

Date published: 8/4/2008

BREAK OUT the paraguas (umbrel- las), the sun is getting to some folks in Spain. An environment committee of the Spanish parliament has voted to give limited human rights to some of the great apes.

(So far, that does not include the right to keep and bear arms.)

The measure, which is expected to pass, would give chimps, gorillas, and other apes (except gibbons, which don't make the grade), protection against "murder," freedom from "false imprisonment," and protection from all medical and scientific experimentation, including ongoing AIDS research.

The idea is, they're just like us, only hairier. We can't really knock the Spanish, though, for originating this silly human/ape equality: The philosophy behind it comes from none other than Peter Singer, the Princeton University professor of medical ethics who believes not only in abortion but in euthanizing disabled (human) infants. (He also sees nothing much wrong with people having sex with animals, but that's another story.)

The founder of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk, says the vote is "a great start at breaking down the species barriers, under which humans are regarded as godlike and the rest of the animal kingdom, whether chimpanzees or clams, are treated like dirt."

There's nothing wrong with treating animals humanely, but erasing the line between man and beast leads to all kinds of monkey business. The question is, will Spain require apes to take on human responsibilities, like paying taxes and mowing their lawns? Or is there something to this notion of man's stewardship over the Earth?

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Date published: 8/4/2008