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KNITTING THE KNOT

Woman with 'id made of yarn' knits entire wedding

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BY EDIE GROSS

Date published: 10/24/2008

BY EDIE GROSS

Jessi Rose glared at the tangled lump of gray and black yarn and the metal needles in her lap.

Attendance at group therapy classes like this one was required for residents of the Madison, Wis., halfway house, and the 19-year-old dutifully went to each one.

But this one, she had determined, would be her last.

That was because Jessi Rose, who'd battled bipolar II disorder and borderline personality disorder for years, was planning to slit her wrists as soon as the evening knitting class was over and she was free to return to the privacy of her own bathtub.

But then the instructor pulled a frayed mess of red yarn from her bag.

It was the beginnings of a scarf, and as the woman coached the others, she knitted away on it.

Jessi Rose couldn't take her eyes off it.

"It was meant to look ragged and torn," she said of the scarf, which was knitted with dropped stitches. "I totally identified with it. I saw myself, my own mental state, in that scarf. Something so hideously ugly and wrong and against society and not what a scarf should be--yet it was beautiful."

And a funny thing happened. She picked up her lump of gray and black yarn and began to knit.

And even when the woman with the scarf had to leave, taking her needles with her, Jessi Rose continued to work on the scrap, first using her fingers as needles, then substituting sticks from outside the halfway house.

For days she massaged the tiny square of yarn.

And Jessi Rose forgot to kill herself.

'ORDER OUT OF CHAOS'

Now 29 and living in Fredericksburg, she's a long way from that Wisconsin halfway house.

She couch-surfed and even spent time on the streets--fiercely independent, she refused to return to her mother's home--before meeting her husband online and moving to Virginia.

These days, most people call her Tonks, after a Harry Potter character who could turn her hair brilliant colors.

Her friends gave her the nickname about four years ago when she dyed her own mohawk pink. The legions of knitters who flock to her blog call her that as well.

She's not entirely sure what happened to her first knitted creation, what she calls "a black and gray piece of awful." But she's convinced that introduction to knitting saved her life.

Knitting the knot Tonks is knitting an entire wedding, everything from the tux and dress to the invitations and olives in the martini glasses. To keep track of her work, visit her blog at tonksknitsweddings.com An animal lover, she's raising money for the ASPCA through that site. She has also created a knitting therapy listserve on ravelry.com for folks who want to explore mental health benefits of knitting. Getting stitched Tonks is using a host of different yarns--brushed alpaca, angora, wool and blends of hemp and cotton and cashmere and silk-- to create the ingredients for her wedding/vow-renewal ceremony with husband Mark: HIS: Tux jacket, top hat, cane, argyle socks, gloves, cummerbund, bow tie, boutonniere HERS: Skirt and top, veil, train, silk choker, bracelet, hair combs, lacy cuffs, shoes THEIRS: Invitations, flowers, rings, wedding cake, cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew, hors d'oeuvres, popcorn, sushi, veggie platter, bottles of wine, olives for the martini glasses

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Date published: 10/24/2008

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