Leonardo DiCaprio says he's going to back off his pitches for all things green. ANDREW ROSS/Getty Images Visit the Photo Place

Leo lightens up on the green

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Date published: 11/21/2008

B RITNEY SPEARS is really sad, ya'll.

According to The Sun, Britney tearfully admits in a documentary that her life, at present, is a sham.

In her confession, Brit likens her "situation" to the movie "Groundhog Day," in which the main character experiences the same day over and over till the audience finally accepts that someone like Bill Murray could actually land someone like Andie MacDowell.

Britney is referring to the conservatorship that resulted from her teeny tiny breakdown that led to her shaving her head and losing custody of her kids.

She claims her life is too controlled and believes she's a prisoner paying for past mistakes. I could not agree more--people need to back up off her and let her be free. Ever since she started wearing underpants again and stopped running over people, life has been unbearable. Ever since she started feeding her kids three square meals a day and wearing shoes in public bathrooms her world has been a disaster. People were never meant to live this way.

'WHEN HIPPIES ATTACK'

I think I have an idea for a new TV show. It's called "When Hippies Attack," and will feature videos of what can happen when impressionable people are given literature and deprived of meat.

If you have some time on your hands--you know, at work--it may interest you to Youtube the video of a fur-clad Lindsay Lohan getting flour dumped over her head by a tree sprite screaming "Lindsay Lohan, fur hag!"

A spokesperson for PETA Europe said this: "Lindsay Lohan might be able to ignore images of bloody animals skinned alive for their pelts, but we hope a dash of flour will help her rise to the occasion and forsake fur once and for all."

Yes, PETA, what animals go through in the name of food and fashion is an atrocity. It's a tasty, cozy, timeless, glamorous atrocity. You guys have been doing these same tactics for decades and it's not working. Try being nice for a change.

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Date published: 11/21/2008