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Date published: 12/5/2008
PREGNANT vs. Fat Cow is one of my favorite celebrity gossip games, not to mention a cornerstone of American life.
It's always surprising to find out if a lady celeb's recent girth gain is because she's a sacred vessel or because she's discovered that Wendy's is open late.
The latest victim of the twisted pastime happens to be Mary-Kate Olsen. Yes, the formerly anorexic one.
The National Enquirer got the ball rolling when a source claimed that MKO's recent weight gain may be to hide her pregnancy. And what new weight gain am I referring to? Well, the tiny wactress has ballooned to a total of 102 pounds.
Reps for Mary-Kate have officially denied any baby rumors, but I hesitate to call her a fat cow. Seriously, there's a special place in hell for those who think 102 pounds is worthy of gossip.
It doesn't matter if she weighed 64 pounds to begin with! You cannot call a celebrity fat when she is battling an eating disorder.
Now, when MK weighs in at 109 pounds then we can call her names, and at 113 I'm mailing her a feeding trough.
IS JAMIE LYNN FRETTING?
I hesitate to report on the likes of Jamie Lynn Spears but every now and then she reveals some nugget of stupid, and it's a slow gossip week.
According to Star Magazine's online site, Jamie Lynn is worried that the liposuction she had during her pregnancy could have caused long-term harm to her daughter, Maddie.
Hold on there, put down your pitchfork and torches. Apparently Jamie didn't realize her condition at the time, and she modestly assumed that she was a fat cow.
"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient." Now, I'm not going to blame Jamie Lynn here--she was only 16 and "Juno" wasn't out in theaters yet.
Any kid could have gotten confused. However, Mama Lynne Spears, honestly, what is wrong with you?
FEY CLEARS UP MYSTERY
Date published: 12/5/2008
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