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Kids, cell phones: What's right call?

When should kids go mobile?

Date published: 11/10/2009

BY EDIE GROSS

When Theresa Rasmussen's daughter was 13, she made the Ni River Middle School basketball team.

Rasmussen was thrilled--and worried. What if after-school practice was canceled or ended early?

Or what if Rasmussen, who works at Fort Belvoir, was stuck in traffic on her way home to Spotsylvania?

How would the two communicate in an emergency?

Rasmussen had already been through that rigmarole with her son, who'd also been a middle school basketball player.

"He would call, but he'd call from some office in the school, and if he didn't get me, I couldn't call him back," she said.

This time, Rasmussen wasn't taking any chances. She got her daughter a cell phone.

"It's come in very handy," said Rasmussen, whose daughter is now in high school. "I never know what traffic is going to be like on 95. That way, I could call her and let her know, 'Get a ride with a friend to her house, and I'll pick you up there.'"

Seventy-one percent of teens ages 12 to 17 own a cell phone, up from 45 percent five years ago, according to research by the Pew Internet and American Life Project.

But how does a parent know when a child is ready for the responsibility of phone ownership?

There's no magical age at which it's appropriate, said Lynn O'Rourke Hayes, a Quantico native and family communications expert in Bozeman, Mont.

Rather, she said, circumstances should dictate whether a child needs a cell phone, and it's up to the parents to set the boundaries.

"What I hear is, 'Oh my gosh, my child wants a cell phone.' And they feel like they're giving in," Hayes said. "The shift I like to encourage parents to make is, it's not really for them [the kids]. It's for you to have peace of mind."

'IT'S A PRIVILEGE'

Karen Child Ogden, a licensed family and marriage therapist in California, urges parents to remind their children that the cell phone belongs to the adults in the house--and the kids get to borrow it to keep in touch with their parents.

It's not a toy or a tool for fitting in at school, she said.

"Really, the thing we drive home is it's the parents' decision," she said. "They can say 'no.' It's not a right. It's a privilege."

KIDDIE PHONES Several brands of mobile phones are made just for kids. They're fairly restrictive, so teens and even tweens aren't crazy about them. But for younger kids, they provide an easy way to stay in touch with parents without all the bells and whistles of grown-up cell phones. Some of those options include: TicTalk (myticktalk.com)--Lets parents pre-program up to 22 numbers kids can call or receive calls from. Also allows parents to set when the phone can ring. Phone features Leapfrog educational games. Firefly -- Allows parents to load 20 numbers into the phone that kids can call or get calls from. No games or texting. Migo -- Parents can't restrict incoming calls, but can program four outgoing numbers into the phone. No texting or games. PARENTAL CONTROLS Most wireless companies offer parents some options for overseeing their children's calling plans. AT&T Smart Limits lets parents limit hours when the phone can be used, filter Internet access, set the number of text messages allowed, block or allow certain incoming or outgoing calls and limit "downloadable purchases" like ring tones and games. AT&T FamilyMap also lets parents see where their kids are--or at least where their cell phones are. Verizon Wireless allows parents to limit calling minutes and text messages, restrict times of day when the phone can be used and block certain calls from being sent or received. Family Locator lets parents track their kids' locations. T-Mobile Family Allowances lets parents set monthly allowances for texts, calls and downloads. Once the maximum is reached, that service shuts down and the parents are notified. Parents can also restrict phone use to particular times of day, limit Web access and block certain numbers. Sprint Parental Controls allows parents to block incoming or outgoing text messages, limit purchases like games and ring tones, limit wireless Web access and, on some phones, restrict incoming and outgoing calls to a pre-approved list. Family Locator lets parents track their kids' location.

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Date published: 11/10/2009