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Stephanie Lamar has set up a room in her Spotsylvania home dedicated to her late husband, Marine Sgt. Donald Lamar II, who was killed in Afghanistan four months ago. She has also started a scholarship foundation in his name.
The Sgt. Donald J. Lamar Foundation was established Stephanie Lamar and 3-year-old daughter Madison are trying to rebuild their lives after the death of their husband and father, Marine Sgt. Donald J. Lamar II. |
By RUSTY DENNEN
It has been four months since Stephanie Lamar got the terrible news that her beloved husband, Donald, a young Marine, had been killed in Afghanistan.
While the grief and the memories live on--flooding her waking days as well as her dreams--she says she is finding ways to rebuild her life while keeping Donald's memory alive.
"The worst time is when I'm at school, or by myself, picking up my daughter. That's when I break down," she said last week after a hectic day of her new routine of classes at Germanna Community College and caring for 3-year-old Madison.
"Sometimes I hear a song played, or I go by one of his favorite restaurants " she said, her voice trailing off.
Her answering machine plays "I Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum: It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
For her, that's another way to remember the former Stafford High School classmate who became her sweetheart, soul mate and best friend. They married in 2009.
"I needed him, and I still need him," she said.
She set up a room in her house dedicated to his memory.
"I decided a few months ago that I want to make the best of the situation that was laid in front of me on my birthday this year."
Namely, she wants Donald to be remembered while she rebuilds her life with help from family, friends and supporters, many of whom she has never met.
She decided early on to create a charitable foundation in her husband's name.
The Sgt. Donald J. Lamar Foundation "is to remember and show appreciation to some of our American heroes," she said.
"Donald loved his fellow military brothers and sisters and would do absolutely anything for them. I want to keep his spirit alive by showing people someone still cares and has not forgotten anything they have done."
A golf tournament will be held Oct. 23 at Cannon Ridge Golf Club in Stafford County to raise money for the foundation. That will fund two college scholarships to be given annually, in sports that Lamar loved.
One would go to a Stafford High School wrestler, the other to a rugby player at Longwood University.
Stephanie is starting a "hero book" on Facebook "for people to write about how the troops are heroes to them," she said.
She hopes to schedule a fundraiser ball sometime next year.
Meanwhile, she has been making regular trips to Bethesda Naval Medical Center and Walter Reed Army Medical Center to visit troops from Lamar's unit who were wounded in Afghanistan. The entire unit is returning soon from Afghanistan.
Lamar, a sniper, was killed May 12 in Helmand province. Fierce fighting there has claimed dozens more Marines as they move into Taliban strongholds.
More than 5,700 U.S. troops have been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2003.
A day after Lamar died, two Marines knocked on Stephanie's door to convey the terrible news. Madison saw them and thought one was her father, home from the war.
Aside from the obvious adjustments, Stephanie is slowly rebuilding her life.
She has moved out of her mother's house, to a townhouse in Spotsylvania County. She is taking classes on business and marketing.
"We're hanging in there. It's becoming more real now," she said.
"I could lock myself in the closet and cry all day, but I have a 3-year-old. I'm doing what he would want me to do."
It has been tough on Madison, too.
Stephanie said her daughter sees playmates with two parents and asks, "Why don't I have a mommy and a daddy?"
Rusty Dennen: 540/374-5431
Email: rdennen@freelancestar.com
For more information on how to donate or to play in the Sgt. Donald J. Lamar II Memorial Golf Tournament Oct. 23 at Cannon Ridge Golf Club, e-mail Stephanie Lamar at LamarFoundation @gmail.com
A scholarship fund has been set up at Union First Market Bank for Lamar's 3-year-old daughter, Madison. Donations to the Madison in Memory of Sgt. Donald Lamar Fund can be made
After graduating from Stafford High in 2004, he attended Longwood College and then joined the Marines.
Stationed at Camp Lejeune, N.C., he served two tours of duty in Iraq. His last tour began in March with the 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment.
