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A world without Twinkies would be a true crisis
The much-loved Hostess snack will likely survive
MARK LENNIHAN/ASSOCIATED PRESS
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Of course, all is not lost yet. Word is that a Mexican bakery may buy at least part of the Hostess company and save Twinkies.
But would the snack cakes be the same if they were baked in Tijuana? Would they become "Twinkistas" or "Twinkitas"? Instead of vanilla filling, would they then be injected with guacamole dip?
Would the national debt be affected because border patrol agents would then be forced to spend time and money to prevent Ding Dongs from being smuggled across the border?
If a Mexican bakery buys the brand, would the "H's" in "Ho Hos" then become silent? Would we then just be ordering "O Os"?
The implications of a Mexican takeover are huge.
The most important question for me is not whether Twinkies or Ho Hos or Ding Dongs will go the way of the passenger pigeon, but rather will Hostess CupCakes be saved?
I never did care that much for Twinkies or the other snacks, but I could eat my weight in Hostess CupCakes. Yes, other companies make reasonable facsimiles thereof, but they are not nearly as good as the real thing.
So, Secretary of State Clinton, try to work out something.
And put Gen. Petraeus' Benghazi information on the back burner. If he is to testify again, America wants to know about his Ding Dong secrets.
Somebody in Washington, get cracking! President Obama brags that he saved the banking industry, but if allows Hostess to fail, that will be his legacy.
Maybe that's why the story didn't come out before the presidential election. Maybe the Democrats hid the facts so Obama wouldn't lose the fat vote if Hostess went out of business.
Mr. President, Mitt Romney claims you won the election by giving the minorities gifts. Now do something for the rest of us: Give Twinkies and Ho Hos and Hostess CupCakes back to the fat majority.
If you do, we'll all love you forever!