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Chocolate brick is worth its weight in gold.
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Then suddenly I stopped and took another look at the chocolate bar. This thing wasn't long like a regular Hershey Bar, but rather much shorter and thicker. It didn't look like Hershey Bar, it looked like like a giant Ex-Lax bar.
Oh, no! I'm not falling for that practical joke again! Once, when I was about 12 years old, a buddy gave me this small piece of chocolate on the way to school. That turned out to be a laxative and I spent a most interesting day in class.
"No, it is really Hershey's chocolate," someone assured me. "Look here! It has 'Hershey's' written in the chocolate, just like in the candy bar."
He was right. The letters were imprinted in the chocolate. But still I was hesitant. Someone could have made up a giant Ex-Lax bar and imprinted the Hershey's logo on the top. I wasn't sure I could trust these crazy old Bush fans.
But in the end, my love of chocolate overcame my fear of Republicans and, using a long butcher knife and a hammer (they have all those tools at the music store, too), I chopped off a chunk of that cold chocolate, wrapped it in a swaddling paper towel and took it home.
I guess it is the real thing. It certainly tastes like the real thing. Besides, I've been eating it for two days now with no ill effects.
A hunk of Hershey's chocolate the size of four gold bricks! Will wonders never cease? No wonder the guys down at the music store were all excited.
Of course, if this does turn out to be a giant Ex-Lax with delayed action, somebody is going to be in for it!
You gotta watch those old retired Republicans!