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The difference is that while running a "code" I had a team of dedicated health professionals helping me try to establish a viable heartbeat, while as a ref I was alone on an island with spectators howling for my blood.
I did not attend the basketball game he mentions, and I know nothing of the mechanics of officiating girls basketball, but in boys lacrosse, officials must annually attend several hours of rules clinics, be observed in two scrimmages by more senior officials, and pass an online rules test before being assigned any games.
It appears that few coaches have studied the rules book as thoroughly as most officials, and almost no spectators have read it at all. And the manner in which some coaches relate to other adult men (the officials) they have never met before I find appalling. Furthermore, it's highly unlikely any of the fans have ever met my mother, so comments on her character are inappropriate.
When watching their favorite sport and tempted to harangue the officials, I suggest fans take a more poetic approach, as exemplified by the most famous of ballplayers: "From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar, Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore. 'Kill him! Kill the umpire!' shouted some one on the stand, And it's likely they'd a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand."
Dr. Don Bley