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Why is 'Press 1 for English' such a big deal? page 2
Marc Munroe Dion's op-ed column: Why Press 1 For English?

Date published: 1/6/2014


A guy on the next bar stool, Spanish guy I've known for years, he sees the guy kiss my neck and he says "What the hell!" and then he uses a very crude Spanish word for homosexual that the kisser and I both know because, even though he's not Spanish and I'm not Spanish, there's a lot of Spanish people living around here so both of us have learned to break chops in that language.

And everybody laughs because if you don't you're kinda weak, and none of us three live in a community where weakness is admired.

And on Afghanistan's plains, some kid who hasn't had a beer in a while takes some metal in the belly and gets tossed back in the air, with his arms flopping and blood leaking out of him.

And the medic gets to him and he's screaming some and crying a little and his eyes are flat as black glass and he's saying something and it's not in English because he's calling for his mother, like men do when they're hurt to death, and he's never spoken English to his mother.

And he lives. Maybe. And how do you think he feels, when he gets home, if he has to press 1 for English?

Marc Munroe Dion is a columnist for Creators Syndicate.

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