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Moments in motherhood - Oct. 15, 2009 4:03 pm - Show/hide this post I know it's been a while since I have posted here, but there hasn't been a dull moment in my life as a mom. My son Izaiah is now 20 months and just as cute as he can be. But he has decided to reach his terrible two stage a few months early. Here are just a few of memorable moments featuring Izaiah and mommy. Getting ready in the morning is sometimes a chore. Izaiah is just as grumpy as I am in the a.m. hours. But he did manage to get that prankster gene from his father. So izaiah is all dressed and running around the house. All I needed to do was fix my lunch and walk out the door. All of a sudden it got real quiet, that never happens with him in the house. So I call out, "Izaiah, where are you. Mommy can't see you." Then all of a sudden, a little arm sticks out from under the bed. He forgot to tell me we were playing hide and seek! When Izaiah figured out that he could say yes to get something, he said it all the time. So I played a little game with him. "Izaiah, you want to go outside and play?" "Yesh!" "You want to eat-eat?" "Yessh", "You want mommy to spank your butt?" " YESSSHH!" If youve ever had to buy diapers on a regular basis, you know that it adds up. And sometimes you get to the point where you try to save them when you can. But Izaiah doesn't care how much diapers costs. His policy is to pee in a diaper. But only make stinky in a fresh diaper. And he sticks to this. If I change a wet diaper, he will wait until I button his onesie and pull up his pants, then he starts to make stinky.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

RIP Michael Jackson - June 25, 2009 8:32 pm - Show/hide this post One of my earliest memories was of Michael Jackson. I was about 2 years old, and my family traveled up to D.C. to see him perform. I don't remember the songs he sung that night, or the dancing he did. But what I do remember is him throwing his hat into the audience and wishing I had caught it. After that, I was an MJ fan for life. You have to admit, Michael Jackson is an American icon. An international superstar! Especially in the 80's, he was the MAN! Who was hotter than Michael Jackson when he graced the cover of the Thriller album? If you weren't singing his songs, you were imitating his moves. And if you weren't imitating his moves, you were just confused by some of his personal decisions. (Think Bubbles, skin tone, dangling baby, pajama pants and Lisa Marie Presley.) But despite all the weirdness and legal troubles, Michael Jackson will be remembered for what made him the King of Pop. Thriller The Moonwalk Billie Jean I'm Bad The Silver glove PYT Beat it Jackson 5 The Pepsi Commercial The way you make me feel You are not Alone Black or white Don't stop til you get enough  Heal the World Remember the time and my most recent favorite...Butterflies and if you've ever seen The Wiz, you'd remember how MJ (as the scarecrow) grooved down the yellow brick road while singing "Ease on down, ease on down the road." Michael Jackson was a big part of my childhood. He stands right in line with Skittles, hightop sneakers and the 4-H pledge. Even the basics. Who do you think helped us remember that ABC was easy as 123 and do re mi? I love Michael Jackson. I love his music. and I love the legacy he left behind. Michael Jackson dead at 50. He will be dearly missed. An MJ Photo Gallery   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

May 26 BOS agenda - May 22, 2009 4:38 pm - Show/hide this post CAROLINE COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING May 26, 2009 COMMUNITY SERVICES CENTER MILFORD, VIRGINIA     AGENDA      6:00 P.M. CALL TO ORDER        INVOCATION        PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE    AMENDMENTS TO THE AGENDA              OPENING BOARD COMMENTS 1.  PRESENTATIONS/REPORTS     Lieutenant Colonel Michael Graese – Commander, Fort A.P. Hill   2.  APPOINTMENTS     Caroline County Museum Committee Board of Directors Emergency Services Commission (Port Royal District) 3.  CONSENT AGENDA     Approval of Warrants Review of Planning Commission Actions Declaration of Surplus Equipment (Department of Fire & Rescue Fleet Vehicle) Approval of GOVDEALS Agreement Approval of Request from Treasurer to Destroy Old Records Amendment to the Board of Supervisors By-laws   7:30 P.M. PUBLIC COMMENTS        PUBLIC HEARINGS    4. RZ-02-2008 - Frank Flippo & Sons Estate, Owner; Republic Southampton, LLC, Applicant:  Request a Rezoning from RP, Rural Preservation (with a density of one dwelling unit per ten acres of land) to PRD, Planned Residential Development (with a density of ten units per gross acre), on a portion of tax map #83-A-5, consisting of 178.651 acres, more or less and a portion of tax map #69-A-32 consisting of 47.5 acres, more or less.  This property is located on the north side of Route 207 (Rogers Clark Blvd.), approximately ½ mile north of Route 652 (Cool Water Drive), Mattaponi Voting District.  Proposed Use:  Residential Subdivision consisting of 646 residential units.  The 2006 – 2026 Comprehensive Plan identifies this area as being located in the Carmel Church Community Plan designated as Planned Residential Development (with a density of ten units per gross acre).    5. RZ-03-2008 – Frank Flippo & Sons Estate, Owner; Republic Southampton, LLC, Applicant:  Request a Rezoning from RP, Rural Preservation (with a density of one dwelling unit per ten acres of land) to PSC, Planned Shopping Center (with no specified density) on a portion of tax map #83-A-5, consisting of 16.320 acres, more or less.  This property is located on the north side of Route 207 (Rogers Clark Blvd.), approximately ½ mile north of Route 652 (Cool Water Drive), Mattaponi Voting District.  Proposed Use: Shopping Center.  The 2006 – 2026 Comprehensive Plan indentifies this area as being located in the Carmel Church Community Plan designated as Commercial/Office with no specified density.    6. RZ-04-2008 – Frank Flippo & Sons Estate, Owner; Republic Southampton, LLC, Applicant:  Request a Rezoning from RP, Rural Preservation (with a density of one dwelling unit per ten acres of land) to PIP, Planned Industrial Park (with no specified density) on a portion of tax map #83-A-5, consisting of 32.853 acres, more or less.  This property is located on the south side of Route 207 (Rogers Clark Blvd.), and intersects with Route 684 (Dry Bridge Road), Mattaponi and Reedy Church Voting Districts.  Proposed Use:  Industrial Park.  The 2006 – 2026 Comprehensive Plan identifies this area as being located in the Carmel Church Community Plan designated as Office/Industrial with no specified density.    7. RZ-03-2009 – Ladysmith Floor & Lumber, LLC, Owner/Applicant:  Request a Rezoning from RP, Rural Preservation (with a density of one dwelling unit per ten acres of land) to M-1, Industrial (no specified density) on a portion of tax map #53-A-10, consisting of 5.1744 acres, more or less.  This property is located on Route 633 (16517 Bull Church Road), approximately 1/10 of a mile north of Route 639 (Ladysmith Road), Mattaponi Voting District.  Proposed Use:  Storage Facility.  The 2006 – 2026 Comprehensive Plan identifies this area as rural preservation with a density of one dwelling unit per ten acres of land.       UNFINISHED BUSINESS   8.  Discussion of Timbering in M-1 Zoning District    9. Proposed Amendment of Article VIII, Sections 92-50 through 92-66 of the Code of Caroline County (Wastewater Pretreatment)  10. TXT-07-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by Amending Article 4, Rural Preservation (RP), Section 5, Uses Permitted by Special Exception, by adding paragraph 31 – Private Roads in Rural Subdivisions Subject to standards in Article 15, Supplemental Regulations, Section 8, Development standards, paragraph L, Standards for Private Roads.  The purpose of this text amendment is to allow private roads in rural subdivisions subject to standards.  (first reading)  TXT-08-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by Amending Article 5, Agricultural Preservation (AP), Section 6, Permitted Special Exception Uses, by adding paragraph 16 – Private Roads in rural subdivisions subject to the standards in Article 15, Supplemental Regulations, Section 8, development standards, paragraph L, standards for private Roads. The purpose of the amendment is to allow private roads in rural subdivisions subject to standards. (first reading)  TXT-09-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by amending Article 11, Planned Unit Development (PUD), Division 1 – Generally, by adding Section 6 – Private Roads.  The purpose of this text amendment is to allow private roads within a Planned Unit Development subject to standards. (first reading)    TXT-10-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by amending Article 11, Planned Unit Development (PUD), Division 2, Planned Residential Development (PRD), by repealing Section 9, Streets.  The purpose of this text amendment is to repeal private street in the PRD zoning district. (first reading)  TXT-11-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by amending Article 9, Business (B-1), Section 3, Uses Permitted by Special Exception, by adding paragraph 18 – Private roads in commercial developments subject to the standards in Article 15, Section 8, Development Standards, paragraph L, Standards for Private Roads.  The purpose of this text amendment is to allow private roads within a commercial development subject to standards. (first reading)  TXT-12-2008:  An Ordinance to Amend the Zoning Ordinance of Caroline County by amending Article XV, Supplemental Regulations, Section 8, Development Standards by adding Paragraph L – Standards for Private Roads.  The purpose of this text amendment is to establish standards relating to private roads. (first reading)  11.  Adoption of Fiscal Year 2009/2010 Budget 12.  INFORMATIONAL/CALENDAR ITEMS         CLOSING BOARD COMMENTS       CLOSED MEETING       Section 2.2-3711 A 5:  Discussion Concerning a Prospective Business or Industry or the Expansion of an Existing Business or Industry Where No Previous Announcement Has Been Made of the Business' or Industry's Interest in Locating or Expanding its Facilities in the Community       Section 2.2-3711 A 1: Personnel - Discussion, consideration, or interviews of prospective candidates for employment; assignment, appointment, promotion, performance, demotion, salaries, disciplining, or resignation of specific public officers, appointees, or employees of any public body         ADJOURNMENT  ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Sheriff's report - Apr. 27, 2009 4:46 pm - Show/hide this post On April 20, 2009, Deputy K. Digravio-Ferguson responded to a domestic in Milford.  After investigating, Michele A. Anderson, 52, of Milford was charged with malicious wounding.  She was ordered held without bond and a court date of April 21, 2009 was set.    On April 21, 2009, Deputy D. W. Mundie stopped a vehicle for a traffic infraction.  After investigating, Joan A. Quested, 69, of Port Royal was charged with driving under the influence.  She was ordered held under a $2,000 bond and a court date of May 6, 2009 was set.    On April 25, 2009, Sergeant R. L. Hixson stopped a vehicle for a traffic infraction.  After investigating, Gilbert W. Holmes, 34, of Aylett was charged with driving under the influence – 2nd offense, driving on a revoked license and refusal to submit to a breath test.  He was ordered held under a $3,000 bond and a court date of May 6, 2009 was set. Caroline County Sheriff's Office Wrap Up     According to Sheriff Tony Lippa, Caroline Deputies made 3 drug arrests, 1 DUI arrests, 10 domestic violence arrests, 81 other criminal arrests and issued 2 animal control summons or arrests during the past week.  The deputies served 257 civil papers, issued 207 traffic summonses, handled 4 motor vehicle crashes, responded to 32 alarm calls, and dealt with 4 juvenile offender(s).  The Sheriff’s Office Communications Center dispatched 392 calls for service and handled 1,659 telephone inquiries.  The CCSO also logged 28 calls assisting outside agencies and had 190 self-initiated calls. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Finding Friends on Facebook - Apr. 22, 2009 4:25 pm - Show/hide this post I will admit. It took me some time and a little bit of arm-twisting to get me to join this Facebook phenomenon. But I finally did. And boy was it an experience. I signed up last Friday--and ended up spending the entire weekend 'friending.' I was hesitant at first because I was already on MySpace and LinkedIn and another social networking site that I barely visit. And I didn't want anyone or anything involved with these sites to bite me in the butt later. (Trust me, it has before by no fault of my own, let me add). But anyway, I joined mostly so I can be an admin on the fredericksburg.com Facebook page (which you all should join). So as I sat in my living room wondering who I could look up, a very, very, very, very, very, very old friend came to mind. Let's just call her Lisa. When I was a young girl, maybe 8 or 9, (I really can't remember), I met Lisa while on a family vacation out of town. We had stayed at the same hotel. We hit it off OK, and our parents suggested we become pen pals. I lived in Warsaw at the time, and she was from Northern Virgina. We wrote each other maybe once or twice, but like the attention span of a third grader, our pen pal partnership was short. Every now and then, I wondered what happened to my pen pal. Until Friday night. I searched for her on Facebook, and 1 match showed up. I sent her a message that was kind of like, "This may be weird, but are you the Lisa that was my pen pal back in the day?" Send. A couple of hours later, I got a response. "Holy Crap! This is totally me!" We chatted for a while about what we've been up to over the years and what we're looking forward to. I told her I was working in Fredericksburg and she is in school pursuing a career as a chef. We talked about old boyfriends and our current ones, the child I have and the child she lost. It really was amazing to talk to her after all those years. Before we had realized it, it was nearly 1 a.m. and we ended our chat. I'd bet my bottom dollar that I probably would have never heard from her again if it wasn't for Facebook. The same goes for some other friends that I had lost contact with. One of my good friends from high school, I found out is married and just had a baby this month. My 3rd grade teacher, who I loved, is on there. Come to find out she lives in Stafford now. And one of the "cool high school girls" when I was in middle school requested to be my friend. How cool is that? Thanks to those of you who twisted my arm. Now friend me! :)           ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Supporting my people! - Apr. 1, 2009 5:02 pm - Show/hide this post I know I am going to get a lot of flack over what I'm about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. I am going to support Chris Brown. Yes, I said Chris Brown. Yes, I am aware of the allegations that he beat his superstar girlfriend Rihanna. And yes, I am aware that he is facing some serious charges. But I am going to continue to support him. I am not saying that it was OK for him to attack her the way he did, if he did it, and I am in no way excusing that type of behavior. But what I am saying is that he is a 19-year-old who made a mistake and it just so happens that he is a celebrity, so it has gotten a lot of attention. No one really knows what happened the night of Feb. 8, just hours before both singers were scheduled to perform at the Grammy Awards. And no one, except for them, knows what really "transpired." But what I do know is that outside of this incident Chris Brown is a good guy. I followed Chris Brown ever since his #1 hit "Run it" hit the airwaves. I remember the day I first heard the song and I loved it. So you can imagine how excited I was to hear that the newbie was from Tappahannock, just across the bridge from MY hometown of Warsaw. (Shout out to the Northern Neck!) Then come to find out there was less than six degrees of separation between us. I grew up with his cousins. My sister went to high school with his dad. I know his aunt from church and one of my old Cracker Barrell buddies is best friends with his cousin. So I know his people, where he grew up and have been impressed by his rise to fame. I feel like I know him. Another thing I admire about Chris Brown is that he didn't forget where he came from. Time to time there will be a Chris Brown sighting in Essex or Richmond or in Hanover County, where he and I both own houses. Anyway, my point is we are from the same community, which makes him my people. And I support my people. If we don't support our own people who will? I'm not going to throw him under the bus because of one incident. I'd like to see him get the help that he needs and use this experience as an opportunity to take up the issue of domestic violence. Let me also add that Rihanna has forgiven Chris, and if she has, who are we to judge? I know a lot of people will say he is a role model and he should know better. But please name someone who has been a celebrity role model who has not had some kind of negative incident happen that may have been outside of their character. (Can't say R. Kelly, Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton) I really would like to hear Chris Brown's side of the story. He has apologized to Rihanna. He is supposed to be taking Anger Management classes and supposedly he and RiRi are going to write a book together about domestic violence. I don't know what else people want from him. Blood? Hopefully Chris can get past this and move on with his career. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

No burning after 4 p.m. starting Sunday - Feb. 13, 2009 12:59 pm - Show/hide this post The Commonwealth’s 4 p.m. Burning Law goes into effect Sunday, Feb. 15 – the start of spring fire season in Virginia. This law prohibits burning before 4 p.m. each day (Feb. 15 – April 30) if the fire is in, or within 300 feet of, woodland, brushland or fields containing dry grass or other flammable materials. A violation of this law is a Class 3 misdemeanor punishable by up to a $500 fine. In addition to the criminal violation, those who allow a fire to escape are liable for the cost of suppressing the fire as well as any damage caused to others’ property. So be careful, just yesterday there was a bad house fire next door in Hanover County due to it being dry and high winds. Read the Va. Department of Forestry's  Frequently Asked Questions: Can I Burn? to learn more and help prevent forest fires. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Trying Economic Times Cause Furloughs - Feb. 13, 2009 12:49 pm - Show/hide this post Here's a press release from the Caroline County Sheriff's Department  Sheriff Tony Lippa announced Wednesday that due to the budgetary difficulties Caroline County is facing, all employees of the Sheriff’s Office will be taking a minimum of 4 unpaid leave days over the next few months.    “Due to the financial situation being experienced across this county, this Commonwealth, and the entire nation, the County has mandated that each full time employee, including sworn law enforcement employees, take 4 days of unpaid leave.  While I am not happy about furloughing public safety workers, I am committed to doing our part in this crisis without sacrificing the services we provide to our residents, business owners, and visitors,” said Sheriff Lippa.  Sheriff Lippa continued, “We will be doing our best to work through this crisis and giving our employees time off in ways that will have the least impact on our delivery of vital law enforcement services.  Originally, I was asked to give each employee 6 days off, but by delaying the filling of 2 deputy positions that just became vacant, I was able to lessen that number to 4.”  Caroline County required the Sheriff’s Office to return approximately $65,000 in deputy salaries to close a deficit in the Caroline County budget.  ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

What Christmas means - Dec. 17, 2008 4:37 pm - Show/hide this post This week I was thinking about the holidays and realized that this is my first Christmas as a parent. Granted, my son is only 10 months old, so whether he gets a candy cane or just a cane, it wont matter to him as long as he can teethe on it. But as he grows up, I not only have to worry about finding the perfect toy that'll make him smile. I also want to make sure he understands what Christmas is all about and what it stands for.  He should know its not all about gifts and Santa Claus. He should understand that its a time to spend with the ones you love and to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I want him to learn about giving and receiving, but also faith and believing. Sharing and love. That's what I want to do. Not sure how I'm gonna do it. Back when I was a kid, my family would celebrate Christmas at my mom's house in Warsaw. I got to open my gifts first because I was the baby, then my sister.  We always got a shoebox filled with fruit, nuts and candy. My dad said it came from Santa Claus, but I don't think Santa wore size 10 snake-skin shoes. I remember getting some of the best gifts over the years--an Alvin and the Chipmunks tape, a Teddy Ruxpin, a doll named Gem and she had flashy earrings. Somebody must have thought I was a very good girl because I always got the best stuff. After the gift-unwrapping ceremony, we would all huddle in the dining room for Christmas breakfast--the second biggest feast after Thanksgiving. I couldn't wait to eat the fried oysters. And every year it never failed, some of our annoying neighbors always managed to know what time we were eating because that's when we would hear the doorbell ring. Despite me and my sister's wishes, my mom would invite them to join us every time. " Merry Christmas, come on in," she would say. And then I would remember that sharing your special time with others is just as much a part of Christmas as sharing gifts. The way my mom put it, they could have spent Christmas with anybody else they wanted to, but they decided to spend it with us and we should be honored. When I thought of it like that, it made a lot of sense. And that is what Christmas is all about. Now that time has passed, my mom is gone, my sister and I are grown and my dad has remarried, we don't really do that Christmas tradition anymore. But I hope to rekindle it with my son, his half-brother and his dad from now on. Here's a semi-recent pic of my little man. Merry Christmas, everyone.     ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Obama and Palin were here, now what? - Oct. 27, 2008 5:11 pm - Show/hide this post Barack Obama was here Sept. 27th at UMW. Sarah Palin was here today at Hurkamp park. These two 'political celebrities' thought Fredericksburg was important enough to add to their campaign list of places to go. And I appreciate that! And either way you look at it, whoever wins, it'll be a historic event. The first black president or the first woman VP. Now, me being a journalist, I'm not "allowed" to voice my opinion publicly--(well, I can, but not if I want to keep my job). But, with me being a black woman, I'm at some sort of a crossroad. First, let me say, I think that people should base their vote on who they feel are the most qualified and what issues they agree with. Second, I don't believe the President of the United States should be someone "just like me or someone I would want to have a beer with." In that case, ANYONE could be in charge of this country and I really don't think the President should be chilling with me drinking a beer...he (or she) should be working hard getting us out of debt, war, etc. OK. Back to what I was saying. Being a black woman, I sat and thought one day, which is MORE important of an event for ME personally. The achievement of a black person or the achievement of a woman. Because after all, I am both. But which one am I first? Like I said, because of my job, I can't really give an answer on how I feel, but I'd like to open it up for discussion to see what you all think. Thoughts?   Also, I want to give a blog shout out to one of my readers. Hey there, Shantae Collins!     ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Portsia in a pear tree - Oct. 15, 2008 4:51 pm - Show/hide this post So I was at home  on Monday and I heard this loud noise outside. I looked out the window and saw a big Dominion Power truck in my driveway. So, I'm thinking to myself, "What in the world are they doing here." I knew I paid the bill, so they better not be trying to cut of my power, I thought. So the guy starts walking to the door. I picked up my (cutie-pie) son and answered the door. I mean, what decent human being would cut the lights out on a lady with a little baby? I open the door, bounce my son on my hip and say, "Can we help you?" He says, "Yes, is that your tree over there?" And he points to my pear tree at the edge of the road. And now I'm thinking they want to cut my tree down to protect the lines. I don't think so. That tree was part of the reason I bought the house. We call it the 'partridge and a pear tree.' They produce big, juicy pears every year. There's no way I'm cutting it down! I said, "Yes, why?" And he says something about he raises deer and would I mind if he picked a few off. I breathe a sigh of relief and tell him to have at it. He jumps in the bucket on the truck and raises himself up to the top and gets to picking. This isn't the first stranger to come to my door asking to go pear-picking. A few random people have. One day when they first blossomed, a guy came by and asked could he pick some for his wife.  A few weeks later the wife came by and gave me a jar of pear preserves she made from the pears off my tree. And let me tell you, it is yummy! Reminds me of the preserves my grandma used to make. Then there are the rude people who just walk up in my yard and start picking without asking. I don't mind them picking, I can't possible eat all those pears, but at least have the courtesy to ask instead of trespassing on my lawn. My sister was visiting and we saw someone doing that and she asked him if his momma taught him any manners. LOL. But anyway, back to the preserves. I'd like to learn how to make them myself. I've been online and have seen a bunch of recipes but I want "Grandma's preserves." Anybody got a good recipe? Let me know. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Remembering Ma - Aug. 14, 2008 2:43 pm - Show/hide this post Today is three years to the day that my mom passed away. The time has flew by and so much has changed since she's been gone, yet my memories of her are still fresh. It seems just like yesterday she surprised me with a graduation gift of a trip to the Bahamas. Me, her and my best friend enjoyed ourselves as we walked the sandy beaches, danced to soka and calypso music and ate conch, one of the signature foods in the carribean country. That was summer 2004. A few weeks later, she surprised my sister with the same trip. She didn't exactly do anything to deserve that trip like I did. But I guess my mom wanted to be fair. My sister and my mom went by themselves on that trip. That was about June 2004. Then October 4, 2004 was the day my mom had the paralyzing stroke that eventually killed her 10 months later. In a way, it's sort of like she knew her time was coming to an end and she used those vacations with me and my sister as a last memorable moment. Her way of spending time with us before she had to say goodbye. Same thing happened with my current boyfriend's aunt. Me and her daughter were really good friends and she thought of me as a daughter too. About two weeks before she died, she sent me a hand-written letter saying that she was proud of me and to always obey my mom and dad (her daughter was a bit rebellious). I thought nothing of the letter until i got the news that she died. That was 1997 and I still have the letter. I never told anyone about it until 2006 when I started dating her nephew. He got emotional after reading it. She was like a mom to him, too. Anyway, I just wanted to take out some blog time to remember my mom. She really was an incredible woman, and I'm not just saying that because she was my mom. RIP Ola J. Mullins Smith 01/07/46 - 08/14/05     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Friends, how many of us have them? - Aug. 13, 2008 6:59 pm - Show/hide this post Remember back in high school. You had your group of friends that you hung out with in the cafeteria or the hallway and you guys thought yall was all that and a bag of chips. You had your secret code language and signals so that only you and your crew knew what was going on. Ya'll were tight. Tighter than white on rice, stuck together like glue and closer than Glenn. My situation was a little weird because I moved when I was young. So my "crew" from middle school was me, Shayla, Patricia and Doranda. My high school crew was me, Brandi, Brittany, Tiffany and most of the time Sabrina and September. Then my girls from college were me, Amal, Mary and Osasu and Ernie was the guy in our crew like our brother. But it seems like as time goes by, thostight bonds get loose and you and those friends aren't the crew you used to be. Me and my college crew are all still tight, we just don't get to see each other as much as we used to as our lives have all went in separate directions...and locations. Out of my high school crew, me and Brandi still talk, and I'm her maid of honor in her wedding next month. I couldn't tell you what happened to the other girls. I heard Brit got married, haven't seen Tiffany in years. I saw Brina and September in the last few months...but its not the same. Saying helo was awkward like we were just in the same class and knew of each other. It's like we never spent the night at each others houses or double-dated for the prom or did each others hair or prank-called each other's crushes. It was just so weird. My middle school friends aren't too much different. Havent heard from or seen Doranda in over half-a-decade. Patricia and I had both moved at the same time and lost touch for about 5 years and then hung tight for the next 5 years. We were BEST BUDS like Laverne & Shirley, but something happened and that friendship just stopped abruptly. Now we don't even speak. Now Shayla is still my girl. I think she is the friend that I can tell anything to and know she will be there. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't have any friends at all. It just seems like when you're young you are close with your frineds and as you get older you get closer with your family. Me and my sister are closer than ever now than we used to be. And I'm friends with my co-workers, etc. But it's so weird that so many of those friendships that you may have thought were untouchable have fizzled the way that they have. Not because of some wrong doing, but just because it faded. Anyone else experience the same thing? Faded friendships. Just wondering.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

The John Edwards affair - Aug. 11, 2008 5:57 pm - Show/hide this post "I cheated on my wife...she forgave me." We hear it all the time, it's almost not news anymore. Some big shot politician admits (only after he gets caught) that he has had an affair. They are always sorry. They say they are human. And in 99.9 percent of the cases their wives stand beside them. I know Tammy Wynette says to stand by your man, but DAMN that! I'm tired of all these men of power abusing their position (and wives) and getting away with it. Think about it. How many politicians have been caught with their pants down? Sen. John Edwards. (Rielle Hunter) Pres. Bill Clinton. (Monica Lewinsky) Gov. Eliot Spitzer. (prostitute) Gov. Jim McGreevey. (a male staff member) Sen. Gary Condit. (Chandra Levy) Sen. Gary Hart. (Donna Rice) The alleged 'foot-tapping' incident by Sen. Larry Craig. And even presidential hopeful John McCain's curent wife was his mistress during his first marriage. Let's not even get into how many unfaithful athletes there are. They have these extramarital affairs, apologize once they are caught, and then that's it. No consequence. Yeah, maybe Bill had to sleep on the couch for a few weeks, but is that enough? My point is--when are women going to stand up and say 'I'm not gonna take it!' They stand there publicly embarrassed for something they did not do in support of the person that is the cause of the embarrassment. I guess they have an image to uphold, but what message does it send to young women? Are they saying it is OK for your husband to cheat on you? Are they telling young boys it's OK to cheat on your wife because nothing will happen? Because it's not against the law. What happened to that fight for the sanctity of marriage that these politicians argue about? In their eyes, it must be OK to have sex outside your marriage...as long as it's not with someone of the same gender. Or let's flip the script. Let's say it's the wife that broke the infedelity. She'd be wearing a scarlet letter on her chest and sent on her way. It's not right! Just look at the D.C. Madam. She got chastised for having the names of politicians that used her escort service---and she didn't even sleep with anyone (that we know of). She ended up killing herself. And those cheating politicians?....they got off scot-free. Of course. I wonder how things would have turned out for Hillary if she left Bill. Would she have been elected to Senate? Would she have kept or lost her following? Would she be considered a strong woman or resented for not keeping the marriage together. Or what would have happened if Hillary was the one who cheated? Then there's Gov. McGreevey's wife, Gina. But she had no choice but to leave him because, well, she wasn't exactly his type. He prefers men. Some may argue that it's their private life and personal business. But if their wives, who they made a vow to in front of God, can't trust them, why should we as constituents? If a vow doesn't matter, why should an oath? Bad judgement is bad judgement is bad judgement. No matter how you look at it. Thoughts? ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

I've been a mom for 6 months - Aug. 4, 2008 4:28 pm - Show/hide this post Today, my son Izaiah turned 6-months-old. After being a new mom for half of a year now, I had to sit back and think about what I've learned: 1. It's hard. Being a mom is like having another full-time job, that doesn't pay in cash, but in hugs, smiles and endless kisses. 2. You can never be away from your child for more than 5 minutes and not wonder what they are doing. 3. After awhile, you don't even care that there's drool or spit-up all over your shirt. 4. Little babies don't like you messing with their  little noses. They'd rather keep the boogies in there. 5. Even though you dropped him off at daycare, you'll sometimes catch yourself talking to him in the car thinking he's still in the back seat. 6. If you want to avoid piercing screams, slaps in the face or any other type of baby tantrums, give him his milk when he wants it...or else.  7. Babies have super-human strength. Who knew a little boy that weighs 1/12th my size could be so strong. 8. Want to have a moment to just sit down or watch TV? Teething rings, pacifiers, rattles and singing stuffed animals are good tools of distraction...but for only about 10 to 15 minutes. 9. Burping is a must...or gas will follow! 10. Changing dirty diapers is no fun. Running out of them so fast isn't any fun either. 11. Grandma and grandpa are the best babysitters. And they're free!  12. Toys will take over. Your home is now a clutter of all things baby. 13. Social life. What social life? You're a mom now. 14. Onesies are the best! 15. Everything he does makes you smile and laugh out loud. 16. When he's being bad, he looks just like his father. 17. You feel a hint of jealousy when he's in your arms but reaches out for daddy to hold him. 18. ...But it's OK when his diaper needs changing. 19. You look at him and think he's the most beautiful thing on Earth. 20. Nothing else matters. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Baby pic - May 2, 2008 2:42 pm - Show/hide this post I know I have been saying this forever, but finally here is a picture of my little angel. He is almost 3 months old now and just as precious as he can be. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Still on maternity leave... - Apr. 17, 2008 8:22 pm - Show/hide this post But I'll be back on the 28th. Yes, my little (well, 12 pounds and 7 ounce) bundle of joy is just as precious as he can be and I'll be doing some blogging about mommy madness and whatever else goes on. You know Im still facing life... ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Week 35 - Dec. 28, 2007 2:36 pm - Show/hide this post I'm just days away from week 36 (nine months), but the doctor says 40 is full term. I feel like I'm full term, especially since they told me yesterday I weigh 211.5 pounds. That's 6 pounds heavier than I was the week before. Gosh, this baby is doing harm to my figure. :) Nothing much has changed as far as health, everything is going fine. He's just getting bigger and heavier, still tossing and turning in my belly. Dad and I still havent come up with a baby name yet. We were 98 percent close to choosing Isaiah, but then we saw that name everywhere we looked and dad didn't like that, so he changed his mind. I still like Malachi O'Neal as my favorite. Then Izaiah (yes, with a z), then Elijah (call him Eli for short). Dad threw out the name Sanjaya... if only he had watched American Idol, then he would know the story behind that name. But I guess we'll come up with something soon. The baby's only weeks away! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

32 weeks (8 months) - Dec. 4, 2007 4:07 pm - Show/hide this post Im getting rounder and rounder by the day. Last time I went to the doctor, which was 2 weeks ago, the baby weighed 3 pounds and 11 ounces. My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow. We got an ultrasound and the nurse said, "Look, he has a head of hair!" I looked at the screen and she showed me where all the white shading around his head was his hair (that explains all the heartburn, I've been getting lately.) (you can see it in the second picture-the view is from the top of his head.) The first picture is of his face.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Week 28 - Nov. 7, 2007 4:40 pm - Show/hide this post So I went to the doctor Monday for my glucose/diabetes test. I'd been hearing the worst about this visit and how they make you drink this disgusting concoction that could make you vomit. I was a few minutes late for my appointment (darn traffic), but as soon as I sat down in the waiting room, a nurse hands me a styrofoam cup and says "drink up!" Ugh. It was orange...the color of warning labels for toxic wastes. I sat it down and looked at it for about 3 minutes. A couple sitting nearby said they felt my pain. I took a deep breath and took a sip. I thought I was going to chug it all down at once, but the thickness of the supersweet orange stuff was just too much for one swallow. It tasted like Orange soda without the carbonation. Just plain orange syrup. Flat orange soda syrup. But the good news, it was bearable. I had expected the worse and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had to let that settle for an hour, the nurse said without eating, drinking or even chewing gum. Guess who wishes they had eaten breakfast before this appointment. An hour went by and I was back in the lab. The nurse stuck a huge needle in my right arm, but my blood wouldn't budge. She pulled it out of that arm, very painfully and leaving a mark, and then stuck the needle in my other arm. Ouch. Then she took three test tubes full of blood. I just watched as she drained the energy out of me slowly. "All done!," she said. "Results hsould be ready by tomorrow. If I call you, that means bad news." Tuesday morning came and at 9:44 a.m. my cell phone rung. It was the nurse. "Uh ohhh. You're not supposed to be calling me," I told her. She said everything is fine. No diabetes. But she was concerned about my low iron levels. So she recommended some iron pills and told me to have a nice day. Whoo hoo! In two weeks, I go for my next ultrasound so I can see how much my little man has grown. Until then.....   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Nearly 27 weeks - Nov. 2, 2007 12:35 pm - Show/hide this post Start the countdown, he's coming. I'm nearly 27 weeks and he's making his presence known. There's not an hour that goes by that I don't feel a kick or a punch or a flip of a jab to my swollen belly. I'm not exactly sure what he's doing int here, but I wish he'd calm down just a bit...or at least when I'm ready to go to bed. It seems like thats when he has the most energy, when I don't. We still haven't come up with a name yet, but I like Malachi O'neal. Malachi is a book in the Old Testament and means "messenger of God" or "God's Angel" in Hebrew. O'neal is the same middle name as his father. January 28th is soon approaching...I;m trying to prepare myself for the big arrival.       And I'm scared as hell! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

It's my birthday! - Sep. 30, 2007 12:45 am - Show/hide this post Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeee! Happy birthday to me! I'm a quarter of a century...I hear it all goes downhill from here!   :) ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

It's a Boy! - Sep. 11, 2007 12:57 pm - Show/hide this post I had an ultrasound yesterday and found out what I'm having! And it's a boy!!!! Now I can start saying "he" and stop calling him "it." He weighs about 13 ounces and is growing at a normal pace. His bones look strong so far and as the nurse said..."It is definitely a boy." You could see his little manhood plain and clear from the ultrasound--I'll have to make sure he puts that thing away for the next 21 or so years. But we're excited...and taking name suggestions for our little quarterback in the making. New pictures coming soon. What do you think we should name the little guy?     ( 5 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Week 17 - Aug. 21, 2007 7:50 pm - Show/hide this post Got to hear the baby's heartbeat again last Tuesday. Everything sounds fine. The doctor said I should be able to feel the baby moving any day now. So when I get home from work, I just lay down on the bed or couch in complete silence for hours just to see if I can feel anything. No luck yet. I'm getting bigger and hungrier by the day. I slipped on a pair of regular pants today---not doing that again--they were quite snug around the belly. I sleep A LOT! It seems like I can't get enough of it. So you know how I spend my Saturdays(my only day off). Things with my house are going OK. I haven't moved in yet, but I'm getting there. I'm like in that weird transition phase where I want to move in to my new place, but also can't let go of the old one. All the rooms have been painted except for one. I'll get that one painted soon aafter September 10th. That's when I'll find out whether it's a boy or a girl. Anyone wan to take a guess? Pink or blue? ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

I'm an official homeowner! - July 30, 2007 7:57 pm - Show/hide this post I put my John Hancock on the hundreds of dotted lines on Friday and handed over a couple of thousands of dollars, and then that was it. Now, I'm a homeowner. And it's the second most exciting thing in my life right now. Now my mind is occupied with  things such as what color will I paint the walls, how will the furniture be arranged, do I wan tot carpet or show off those beautiful hardwood floors. I went with the intention of window shopping for furniture on Saturday with my dad. He told me he knew of this place down in King & Queen County that offered some good deals. I didn't think I'd buy anything, so I didn't go fully prepared. We got there and this salesman offered a deal I couldn't refuse. I got a solid cherry wood bed set with a Queen size sleigh bed, dresser, mirror, master chest, night stand with the mattress and boxspring included for $997. Then I got a 7-piece living room set with a microfiber beige sofa, love seat, chair, ottaman, coffee table and two end tables for $1,099. They'll deliver and assemble for $55 and he even said he'd hold my check for a week since I didn't come financially prepared that day. What a deal! Now, does anybody know where I can go for some cheap (but descent) kitchen appliances?   ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Week 12 - July 19, 2007 10:01 pm - Show/hide this post So I went to the doctor on Tuesday excited to hear the little guy or girl's heartbeat. I laid down on the doctor's table and pulled my pants down slightly. The nurse poured some jelly-like goo on my lower belly and moved this sound thing all around. "swish, swish, swish" was all you could hear. "swish, swish" again. The nurse said she couldn't find the heartbeat. I got worried. "gurgle, gurgle, gurgle" "If it's not the heart, then what is it?" I asked getting a little frustrated. "It's your stomach growling," she said. I looked at my boyfriend as if it was his fault I didn't eat breakfast that morning. Then we heard it. "Thump, thump, thump." It was only for a second and very faint, but we heard it. I looked at my boyfriend, he looked at me, and we both smiled. ( 4 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Baby blog entry - July 12, 2007 4:03 pm - Show/hide this post So the past few weeks have been interesting. A lot of people were surprised by my big announcement, and some were more suprised by the fact that I announced by blog. It's a new day, why not? It was easier to reach a broad range of people in my life that way than having to stand up on a podium in several locations saying "Look at my belly!" I've since been hit with a bunch of "Congratulations!," "Oh my Gods!," and "Holy Sh*ts!" Then there are others that just look and don't say anything to me, but behind my back whisper to others about wherther I'm getting married or not! (Yes, I've noticed and I know who you are.) But that topic is for a later blog. So far, I still haven't had any morning sickness or anything, unless you count that one time I threw up. Well, it wasn't in the morning and I wasn't really sick. I'm pretty sure it had to do with the snack size bag of pork rinds that I shouldn't have indulged in. I like the crispy things, but it was clear that baby didn't. Because they came up faster than they went down. As far as food cravings, I really haven't wanted anything except for neverending bowls of watermelon and 100% beef hot dogs with mustard and fresh onions (and they have to be fresh). It seems to me that in the first two months, pregnancy is mainly physical due to the fact that your body takes over. It tells you when you are going to sleep, and it usually doesn't mean now, it means right now. Now that I'm nearing my third month, pregnancy is becoming more mental. Now I have to constantly think about what's good for the baby as far as what I eat and drink and how much I rest, although I'm not as exhausted as I was the first month. My first doctor visit a few weeks ago was crazy. There were all these pregnant woman walking around with bellies the size of watermelons (there goes my craving again), and I'm thinking to myself. I don't want to get like that. The nurse practitioner didn't make me feel any better. As soon as she walked in, she looks at me and goes, "Whoa! You're gonna have some monster breasts! You know they're gonna double during your pregnancy, right?" I know I'm a little busty, but come on. I just looked at her and shrugged my shoulders--since it would have been rude to roll my eyes. After I ran through all of the family medical history I could remember, she told me I was ready to go to the lab for blood tests. They took four or five viles of blood out of my arm, I looked at the woman like "uh, I'm pregnant. don't I need all that blood?" She said 'nope' and kept on moving. But one thing I can say about pregnancy so far is that it has far more benefits than just the joy of knowing you are bringing a life into this world. For one, I think I am healthier than I have been in a very long time. My skin is clear and my fingernails are growing long (and I am usually the queen of stubs). Two, I'm not ashamed to tell anyone how much I weigh. So what if I'm 189 pounds....I'm pregnant! And third, being able to say you're pregnant is a bonus in itself. Especially since we are in the process of moving, you won't see me moving any heavy boxes....I'm pregnant. You won't see me painting any walls...I'm pregnant. You won't even see me washing dishes (yes, I've managed to get out of that, too). Before, if I said I was hungry, no big deal. But now, when "the baby" is hungry, it is fed right away. Poor thing, I made my boyfriend run to East Coast in the middle of the night to get me some hot dogs, then to Wal-Mart to get me some watermelon. Man, I'm loving pregnancy already. On my next visit on Tuesday, I may get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. How exciting. Anybody got any pregnancy stories? Weird cravings? I'd like to hear them. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Let me introduce you to ... - July 3, 2007 12:53 pm - Show/hide this post I know I haven't blogged in a while. But in my defense, I've been really busy hanging out with someone new. It's gotten to the point that I spend all my time and energy with this someone and in the short time that I've spent with this person, this person has changed my life dramatically. Do you remember when you were young, you knew at some point in your life that this person would come. You wondered what they'd look like, what their name would be, what type of person they'd become. Well, my dream person has finally come into my life, and I just think this person is so beautiful. Let me introduce you... (the head is toward the left) We don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet, but it won't matter. We're happy either way. I saw its healthy, beating heart for the first time on Wednesday and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen with my own eyes. As of today, Tuesday, I am exactly 10 weeks and 1 day. And my due date is January 28. I have gained some weight (if you haven't noticed already), but that's about the only side effect so far. Lucky for me, I haven't had any morning sickness. This has been my big secret for about a month now. Broke the news to my dad and sister on Sunday and now its OK for the world to know. The baby's dad and I are very happy and ready for this big step in our future. As soon as we close on our house later this month, we'll be ready to start our family. Did you hear that? I'm about to have a family. ( 9 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Another Round - June 15, 2007 12:23 pm - Show/hide this post  As you all may know, Kafia and I have a monthly column in Weekender called Another Round. We plan on going out next weekend, so if you have any suggestions of places to go, let me know. We try to go somewhere within an hour distance of the 'Burg. It doesn't have to be a club, but something more than just a bar. We'll consider all suggestions! Can't wait to hear 'em. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Still facing life - June 7, 2007 11:58 am - Show/hide this post I'm still facing life and this life is moving faster than I had expected. There's so much going on that I don't know where to begin. Well, let's start slow with this one. If you haven't known already I've been busting my butt working here at the FLS and at Cracker Barrel for over a year now--trying to save up a couple thousand bucks for a house of my own. Annnnndddd, I got the call at 10:04 this morning. MY LOAN WAS APPROVED!!!!! So by this time next month (or earlier), guess who is going to be a homeowner? That's Right! It's ME! Go ME! GO ME! It's my birthday! Get busy! Haha! Sorry, I got a little excited there! ...until next time. ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Pizza and personal information - May 31, 2007 7:41 pm - Show/hide this post I came across this video doing some research. It was pretty interesting. It's about how your personal information is collected and how it could be used against you...in this case when you order pizza. It really made me think. Could this really  happen? How would you feel about it? Take a look at the video here. (it really is worth watching, so please check it out).   Let me know what you think. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Want a real reality show? Just sit in traffic court - May 23, 2007 10:15 pm - Show/hide this post I spent the last two days sitting in traffic court with a friend. And although there are a million other places I would have preferred to have spent that time, it was a rather entertaining sight. People walk in and out of the courtroom during cases. People came in late and missed their cases. And those that were waiting were trying to figure out their fate as if it was a mathematical formula. And worst of all, people were talking while the judge was talking--and you don't want to piss a judge off. So I just sat quietly in the back and observed--trying not to laugh or shake my head. In one case, a young  girl was charged with larceny  or something like that--Not sure why she was in traffic court--but anyway... When the judge asked her if she wanted to hire her own attorney or get a court-appointed lawyer, she just looked at him and shrugged. He asked her again. "I don't know," she said. In another case, they had an inmate sittting in one of those confessional looking rooms, where instead of actually being in the courtroom, they are on some kkind of live video feed. So the guy was sitting there in front of the camera waiting for the judge to come in and just sitting there. He couldn't see any of us in the courtroom, but we could all see them. I bet that was uncomfortable. When the judge came out and asked him his name, I gasped. It was a guy that I had went to middle school with in Warsaw and that I hadn't seen in like 11 years. I bet being locked up wasn't on his 10-year plan. And the not-so-smart person of the day was a 30-something-year-old woman named Megan. According to the policeman that pulled her over, she made a U-turn in a 'don't make a U-turn' zone. She could have prepaid it and been done with it, but she said her grandfather had died and she had to travel to New York and forgot about the fine. Since she had a clear driving record, the judge said she could go to traffic school and have the incident dismissed. Her response, "Well, I can just pay the fine however much it is." Everybody in the courtroom looked at her and shook their heads. I usually don't say this..at least not out in public...but what a dummy!     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Another Round: The Tobacco Company is Smokin' Hot - Apr. 26, 2007 6:22 pm - Show/hide this post Portsia Takes A Dance-Floor Challenge At Richmond's Tobacco Company • The club at the Tobacco Company Restaurant is a great place to show off your dance moves. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Yes, I ate at a truckstop - Apr. 25, 2007 6:25 pm - Show/hide this post My roommate and I would occasionally go over to her parent's house to have dinner-- we're not ones to turn down invites to good homecooked meals. These delicious dinners usually turn into controversial conversations as me and Hal, my roommate's stepdad, discuss various current events. This week, we decided to go out to eat. The place--The Flying J Truck Stop in Caroline County. Why you may ask, well for me it was the billboard on I-95 that says 20 oz. Ribeye for $9.99. But for Hal,  it's the good food and the good service. He's been going there for years and knows most of the servers by name--and they know him. We met up around 6:30 p.m. Monday night. I went in wanting the steak, but then I saw the all-day breakfast menu had pancakes. So, I got both. I was streching the little bit of cash I had because payday was a few days away, but what the hey, if I want steak, I should have steak. I'll pay the consequences later, I thought. Then Penny, our server, came over to take our order. She told me I could order whatever I wanted because a gentleman sitting at the round table behind us wanted to pay for my meal. I was hit with different feelings at one time. One was embarrassment --because everyone at my table turned around to see who it was---and the other was relief that I could spare my wallet and leave a nice tip. But what do you do when someone offers to pay for your meal? Do you just accept it? Are you obligated to talk to the guy? Then I thought, oh no, is he going to come over to the table? I ended up making eye contact, smiling and gave an appreciative wave. He waved back in a "you're welcome" kind of way. And that was it. The four of us--me, Hal, my roommate Laura and her mom--ordered our food, then discussion was on. We talked up many topics, including gun control, mental illness, campus security, and how much, if any, responsibility parents should have for their parents actions. We went back and forth with "yes, but....," "I see your point," and "it all depends on..." We sat and discussed and debated and two hours later, we agreed that it was good dialogue. It must have been, because a guy sitting at the table next to us was definitely tuned in. He looked like he wanted to join in the debate, but I guess he decided not to. Hal said when one of us comes up with a good topic, we'll schedule our next dinner/discussion. I can't wait. Anybody got any good discussion topics?   ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Two wolves - Apr. 4, 2007 4:57 pm - Show/hide this post My roommate sent me this, I thought it was an interesting explanation of how we choose the type of person we are. Just somethign to think about.  Enjoy!   Two Wolves   One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.   One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.   The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."   The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"   The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

You never know where your family tree will take you - Apr. 2, 2007 1:44 am - Show/hide this post ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I became interested in tracing my roots. I thought it'd be revealing to learn about my ancestors and even more fascinating if I could track back to a certain country of origin. Looking at my light brown skin, I would have guessed that my folks came from somewhere in either western or southern Africa. But doing some research, I found out that some of my ancestors came from eastern England—and then came to America and founded Virginia. I know this sounds weird, so let me back up and explain. I've been working with the Center for African American Genealogical Research Inc. (CAAGRI) in Fredericksburg to build my family tree. I've been able to trace back to my great-great-grandfather, Richard Smith, who was born around 1855. He was a carpenter and built the house in Hanover County, where I currently reside, in the late 1800's. The family lore was that he was the biological son of a wealthy, white slave owner by the name of Thomas Wingfield from Hanover. That made sense because because Richard was a very fair-skinned man with gray eyes, and based on an early 1900s grid map, the land beside the Smith property belonged to the Wingfield family. By digging through census records and hearing oral history from  relatives, I've found out a lot about Richard. He was married twice and raised six children. A second cousin found a picture of him and gave me a copy. I'm not sure when he died, but I do know he lived to be at least 72. My uncle has a copy of his will, which was typewritten on wax paper in 1927. And although I've heard he was one of the best carpenters in Hanover, he never knew how to read or write. I wanted to know more. CAAGRI founder Paula Royster said I needed to go beyond relatives. It took about a year, but I finally got the nerve to visit the lady who lived in the next house beside mine. She was a Wingfield before she married. I told her what I was doing and she told me to come in. We sat and talked for an hour and it seemed like she knew everything. She knew the layout of my house and that there was a graveyard in the woods behind my home and who was buried there. What really blew me away was that she actually knew my great-great-grandfather Richard. She said he was very handsome man who had a weakness for buttermilk biscuits. And he would always come over to their house when it was time for the hog-killing. She said he had gotten too old to do any work, but that didn't stop him from telling them how to do it. When he was younger, she said the local doctors and judges would call on him to build additions on to their house because he was one of the best around. Makes sense because my house is still standing. It was almost breath-taking to hear so much about the man I only knew through a picture. But now he had personality. But I wanted to know more, like where he—and the name Smith—came from. She didn't know his mother, but she was positive she knew his father—it was her great grandfather. His name was Spottswood Wingfield  and he fought in the Civil War. She said he was a young guy and when he came back home, he got a little frisky with the slaves and that's where she thinks Richard came from. She said Spottswood never ever claimed him, but Spottswood's father, Joseph Spottswood Wingfield, M.D. took Richard under his wing and taught him about carpentry. That's pretty much all that she knew about that. After our talk, I did some research online. From what I could find  is that Spottswood was the son of Joseph, who was the son of Joseph, Sr. and so on. Long story short, they are all the descendants of Thomas Wingfield, who was the first of the Wingfields to come over from England. Thomas Wingfield's uncle was Edward Maria Wingfield. Edward Maria Wingfield  was one of the founders and the first president of Jamestown. According to Wikipedia, "Captain John Smith wrote that [Edward Maria ]Wingfield was one of the early and prime movers and organisers in 1602-1603 in "showing great charge and industry" in getting the Virginia Venture moving: he was one of the four incorporators for the London Virginia Company in the Virginia Charter of 1606 and one of its biggest financial backers." Of course I was amazed by all of this and shared it with Paula Royster and CAAGRI. She said the only way to confirm is through DNA comparison, which their organization is about to start doing. So this summer, I plan to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Jamestown—possibly my hometown. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Everybody faces a battle - Mar. 27, 2007 7:05 pm - Show/hide this post In the news: Despite President Bush's promised veto, the Democratic-controlled Senate signaled support today for a March 2008 withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. Republican attempts to scuttle the timeline failed on 50-48 vote. We have two sides, the Democrats and the Republicans, disagreeing on what to do. Two different opinions, but one is not necessarilty better than the other. Each side will have good points and each side will have flaws. Whatever decision is made, somebody will not be happy. And whatever decision is made the troops will have to carry it out, whether they want to or not. This doesn't just happen in war, but also in life. We are all troops...whether we want to be or not.     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

- Mar. 26, 2007 7:14 pm - Show/hide this post So I had a good time on Saturday hanging out with my close friends from college (UMW). Usually when we get together, it's because one of us is having a birthday or something like that, but this time it was for a more REAL LIFE, but still happy situation. Osasu, one of my college roommates, is having a baby. So we all trooped up to Maryland for her baby shower. We all laughed at each other, reminisced about college and fondled her big belly for hours. It was funny to me because Osasu was the only one of us in college with six-pack abs, so when I saw her the first thing I said was "For once your belly is bigger than mine!" She laughed, and we all had a good time. On the drive back home, another friend and I were talking about how things have changed. Osasu is married with a baby on the way, and one of my friends from high school is planning a wedding and raising twins. And as we sat in the car saying how happy we were for our friends and the new chapter in their lives, we thought about our own. We both agreed that we are nowhere near ready for marriage, and don't even mention kids! I can hardly take care of myself. Then once we realized we weren't ready for that next chapter, we thought, well are we moving too slow in this thing called LIFE? Are we? My  parents married pretty young (early 20's), and so did hers. Maybe we are. Then we got bored with that and moved on to another topic. oh well. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Very Superstitious! - Mar. 15, 2007 6:47 pm - Show/hide this post I DON'T walk under ladders. I don't open umbrellas in the house. And I don't split poles without saying "bread and butter." I will pick a penny off the ground--but only if it is heads up. My name is Portsia Smith, and yes, I am superstitious. I never realized I was superstitious or that I even practiced the ways of old wives' tales, until I had a bad dream. I can't remember what it was now, but I remember rushing to tell my boyfriend about the terrible nightmare. "Hey, I had a bad dream and you were in it," I said. And as I started to give him the details, he stopped me. "Did you eat breakfast yet?" "No, why?" "Because if you tell a bad dream before breakfast it will come true," he said. "Everybody knows that." I hadn't heard that one, but I kept that dream to myself just in case. Then when Christmas came and he told me he wanted a pair of shoes, I looked at him like he was crazy. Everyone knows that if you buy a man shoes, he'll walk out of your life. Duhhhh. Superstitions are defined as a belief or practice, not based on reason or knowledge, that future events are influenced by specific behaviors, without having a causal relationship. Some of the well-known superstitions include seven years of bad luck for breaking a mirror, bad luck if a black cat crosses your path, and bad fashion for wearing white shoes after Labor Day. And one of my favorite superstitious sayings is "If you step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Although there is no real explanation for superstitions, I have found some 'bad luck' theories: Broken mirror. In ancient times the mirror was said to be a window to the viewer's 'soul'. If that mirror were to break, it would take time or seven years for that 'cracked' soul to heal as 'time heals all wounds.' Walk under a ladder. A ladder leaning against a wall forms a triangle, which is the symbol of the family--father, mother, child. Walking under the ladder disrupts the triangle, destroying wholeness of the family. Opening an umbrella in the house. Umbrellas once were used to protect us from the sun. Opening the umbrella indoors insults the sun and brings bad luck. Cross paths with a black cat. Witches were said to transform themselves into cats. Crossing their paths is sure to bring bad luck. Spilled salt. Salt is needed for life. If it was spilled, it meant evil spirits were trying to take away the life from a home. It is also said you should toss salt over your shoulder for luck--your left shoulder, because that is where evil spirits linger. A few grains of salt over the shoulder is a bribe for evil ones, urging them to be on their way. Crack stepping. I'm sure few believe that stepping on a crack will actually break mom's back, but the legend behind the saying stems from the fear that the crack is the entry point to the grave. Many people would argue that superstitions are 'stupid-stitions' and that they don't believe in them. But I bet they don't think about that when they're trying to blow out all the candles on the birthday cake to make their wish come true. Knock on wood!   I'd be interested to hear some of the superstitions you live by. Log-in below or write to psmith@fredericksburg.com. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Can you believe this??? - Mar. 5, 2007 7:12 pm - Show/hide this post        Teens Show Kids How to Smoke Marijuana        Teens in Texas caught allegedly showing children how to smoke marijuana; children now in foster care.         Link:        http://video.ap.org/vws/search/aspx/ap.aspx?t=s60&p=ENAPus_ENAPus&g=0304dv_toddler_pot&f=VAFRE ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Maid in VA - Feb. 26, 2007 7:26 pm - Show/hide this post My best friend from high school called me up over the weekend. We chatted up for a minute, then she asked me to remember a date. I'm like, "Ok. What's the date?" She says September 13. 2008. Confused for a second, I'm like what's happening that day. She says, "My wedding." So of course, a big smile jumps onto my face as I congratulate her on the engagement and ask about the details of how he popped the big question. I also thought about how far 2008 was, which was plenty of time for me to put off buying a bridal shower gift. But there was more, she said. "What's that," I asked. I want you to be my maid of honor! My mouth dropped, and all of a sudden Sept. 13, 2008 seemed a lot closer than it did five minutes before. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Peanut butter, no jelly - Feb. 15, 2007 9:29 pm - Show/hide this post You know there are those times when you are sitting at your desk and you're not hungry, but you just want something to eat. Well, when I get the muchies at work, I snack on some peanut butter and crackers. There's just something about the crunchy texture of the crackers and the creamy tastse and stickiness of the peanut butter all mixed together. I snack on my peanut buttered crackers all the time, often sharing them with my co-worker Alex. You know it takes a while to empty a whole jar of peanut butter, but mine is half empty. So you know when I heard about the salmonella peanut butter recall today, I was a little concerned. The brands recalled: Peter Pan and Great Value (the Wal-Mart brand) The product code: 2111 My peanut butter: Great Value--best until 05/2008 The product code: 2111 I opened the jar up and looked inside...as if I could see, hear or smell the salmonella. Then I told Alex. We both kinda had that look like..."oh crap!" Then Brian walks in during our convo about it. Don't worry about it. You didn't get sick. No big deal, he said. Until he went home and found 2111 in HIS kitchen cabinet. I looked on the FDA Web site, which says discard the peanut butter. But I'm keeping it as evidence just in case something happens. And I think I may switch to snacking on potato chips or pretzels instead.         ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Ice - Feb. 13, 2007 10:05 pm - Show/hide this post I was all prepared for the icy weather. I had three ice scrapers--one in the car, one at home and one at the office. And I filled my windsheild washer reservoir up with orange de-icer. The only thing I needed was that spray stuff that unfreezes your car doorlock, which my dad has reminded me a hundred times to get "just in case." So as I walk out of the back door towards my car Tuesday night, there was one thing I wasn't prepared for. As soon as I stepped foot--or should I say high heel--on the slippery sidewalk....SPLAT! There I was face down on the concrete. The only reason my face didn't actually touch the sidewalk was because my right hand caught the fall. But it was close, and my hand was wet, red and sore. Of course, the first thing I did (after saying the S-word real loud) was look around to see if anyone saw me fall. And of course, one of my co-workers was RIGHT THERE! I looked at her and she looked at me. My first thought was 'She better not laugh.' As if she heard my thoughts, she said in a semi-serious tone, "Are you OK?" I said yes and slowly got up while trying to balance myself on the icy sidewalk. Then I picked up my pocketbook which had flew up in the air when I flew down to the ground. I got really mad for a second. I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't being careful or if it was more because I was embarrassed and couldn't save face. She got in her truck and drove off--laughing at what she just saw, I'm sure. (Honestly, if it wasn't me, I would've laughed too.) I walked--more careful this time--to my car. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse---my car doorlock was stuck! (sigh!) ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Anna Nicole Smith - Feb. 12, 2007 8:24 pm - Show/hide this post In case you were wondering...no, we weren't related. And I'm not really sure how Anna Nicole came to be famous, but she has been the most talked about celebrity since her death on Thursday. The questions that circle in my head are probably the same ones you may have: How did she die? And who was responsible? Who is her baby daddy? Did Howard K. Stern love her or her money? What will be the status of the lawsuits she left behind? What'll happen to her 5-month-old baby Dannilynn? Isn't it weird that her son Daniel, who along with the baby, would have inherited her money, died suddenly? And now she dies suddenly? Is there a link? Who are these other two guys and why are they claiming to be the baby's father? Why was Anna Nicole pictured in bed with the same Bahamas official who granted her residency? Why did Anna Nicole hate her mother so much? And is the mother really grieving her death or greedy for money? Who is Anna Nicole's next of kin since she wasn't married yet and who gets to make decisions about her estate?   Many, many questions lurk, but here's my theory (to be taken with a grain of salt): Howard K. Stern is just too suspicious. It's too coincidental that he was in the hospital room when her son died mysteriously. Think about it, Daniel would have been big "competition." Anna loved her son and he woul have been the biggest heir to her money, and if he lived longer, old enough to make decisions as next of kin. Where was Howard K. Stern when Anna collapsed? Why wasn't he in there with her--or was he? And where was the baby? And if he was Anna's lawyer, isn't it unethical for him to also be involved with her? And as a lawyer/lover, he would know exactly what to do to fight his way to her money and know what exactly to fight for. It would be too easy. And if he really was in love with her and had plans to get married as he says, then why did he put up with her alleged "affairs"? I mean, there's three men claiming to be the dad and photos of her in bed with an additional one. I guess love can blind you, but I haven't heard him say anything about it, even when she was alive. I'd be like, "Hmm, Anna, what's going on?" Then I'm also thinking, if he did kill her, why didn't he wait until they were married, then there wouldn't be this much confusion. Unless she didn't want to get married (because they had some ceremony but it wasn't legally binding). Smart girl, that Anna! Maybe he knew there'd be no marriage and maybe he knew that might not be his baby and couldn't take it and just snapped. Poured somethign in her drink or something. I mean, I never watched her reality show, but from what I hear, he was there with her ALL THE TIME. So why wasn't he there at this specific moment of time, and why has his current whereabouts been such a mystery. And why is he hiding the baby? Judicially, it hasn't been determined if it is his biologically. So how can he legally just take her away? I also heard she may have had some of the sperm from her late billionare husband frozen...and that's a whole 'nother story. I'd be interested to know what you all think. Send me an e-mail or post a comment below. I hope that Anna Nicole rests in peace. Maybe one day we will know what really happened. I'll be tuning in.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Cat and mouse game is no fun - Feb. 5, 2007 4:58 pm - Show/hide this post I HAVE a cat named Lily. I'm not sure how she came to be my cat. She just walked up my driveway one night and has stayed ever since. Now, she struts around with her shiny gray coat as if she owns the place, but I love her just the same. She'll whine and whine until I give her some food, then smell it as if saying, "Do you really expect me to eat this cheap stuff?" Other than that, she's as friendly as can be. I've always been a cat person and don't mind sharing the house with them. But since Lily came out of nowhere, I decided to let her stay outside. I mean, would you let a stranger, cat or not, stay in your home? I like cats because they are low maintenance. You don't have to walk them, you don't have to rub their bellies and they don't care too much for playing catch. They pretty much want you to feed them and then leave them alone. I finally got used to having Lily around and made a point to play with her just about every day. She really is a charmer. I guess she got used to me, too, because she would wave her tail 'bye when I left in the morning and greet me every night when I got home from work. One day, as I was walking out the door, I knew Lily would be there waiting for me. She was there, as expected, but she wasn't alone--and I screamed. There, on my doorstep, was a half-dead, shaken-up mouse fighting for its life. Lily stood there proudly licking her paws. I ran into the house. "You've got to come move this NOW ," I told my boyfriend. You see, I am deathly afraid of mice, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs or any kind of rodent. I don't like squirrels, either. I could relate to that guy on "Fear Factor" who said he'd rather leave the show than lie down in a crate full of mice to win $1 million. No amount of money could tempt me to even think about doing that. The week after the mouse incident, Lily showed up with another guest--but this one was headless. I didn't scream that time until I found the head by my car. Yuck! Another time, I didn't see a mouse, but I think I saw a miniature kidney or lung or something on the front porch. Even boyfriend was hesitant to remove it. This mouse-chase-and-drop thing continued for a while. Since I live by a field, she's catching all the field mice. Although I'm disgusted by it, I guess I'm also thankful. My co-worker, who is also a cat lover, said that when cats do that, it is their way of showing love, protection and service. In other words, Lily is saying to me, "Look, Portsia, I'm doing my share around here by keeping these mice out of the house. Now do your share and stop feeding me that cheap cat food." Portsia Smith: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Lazy Saturday - Jan. 27, 2007 11:28 pm - Show/hide this post Don't you just love days where you do absolutely nothing? When I woke up this morning, I made a mental list of things that I needed to do. Laundry, dishes, get a few knick knacks from the store, vacuum, exercise since it was a nice day and lastly drive down to Warsaw. I did do the laundry. I suckered my boyfriend into doing the dishes. And I slipped out for 5 minutes to get a few things from the store. But other than that, I just sat around the house, played solitaire on the computer and watched movies on TV the whollllleeee day. "Little Black Book" with Bridgett Murphy is a cute movie, by the way. It felt good to actually DO nothing, I don't get many of those days. Gotta love lazy Saturdays! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Calling all Country Music fans! - Jan. 26, 2007 4:42 pm - Show/hide this post By PORTSIA SMITH FREDERICKSBURG.COM LISTEN: Click here to LISTEN to Portsia's interview with Trace. What do you get when you cross country music with a little bit of hip-hop? Well, for Trace Adkins, you get a hit. The country music giant's recent video for "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" demonstrates the recent cross-pollination between the hip-hop and pop-country genres. The term "badonkadonk" itself is fairly new to Country Music Television, showing up much more often on Black Entertainment Television. In the music video, Adkins forgoes the more traditional background of farm equipment for a club scene with scantily clad dancing girls. But rather than drink Hpnotiq and Hennessy, he and his friends consume low-end domestic beer. The video ranked No. 11 in CMT's videos of the year in 2005, and was No. 1 in Great American Country's videos of the year last year. Next Friday, Adkins will bring his 2007 Dangerous Man Tour to the Patriot Center in Fairfax. Country stars Craig Morgan and Danielle Peck also will perform. In a telephone interview with The Free Lance-Star this week, Adkins said he knew the "Honky Tonk" song would make some country music fans scratch their heads. "I knew there'd be some people who would take it too seriously and make a big deal out of it," he said. "But I knew also that there'd be a lot of people out there who viewed it like I did--with their tongue planted firmly in their cheek--and just have fun with it." With 10 years of recording history under his belt, Adkins is a seasoned performer. His high-energy show has fans dancing in the stands with other, more traditional songs, such as "(This Ain't) No Thinkin' Thing," "I Left Something Turned On at Home," "Hot Mama" and "Rough & Ready." Those hits, along with his performances of the ballads "Every Light in the House" and "I'm Tryin'," have established Adkins as one of country music's top headlining performers. "Arlington," a tender ballad about Iraq war soldiers being buried at Arlington National Cemetery, touched the heart of Lennie Cowherd of Culpeper, who lost his son in Iraq in 2004. When Adkins heard about this, he invited the Cowherd family to one of his concerts in Richmond. "[Arlington is] a great song," Adkins said. "It pays tribute and homage and respect to heroes. I think their son is a hero and everyone that is serving, especially those that paid the ultimate price." To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

FREDCast - Jan. 26, 2007 4:26 pm - Show/hide this post This is our new Webcast, where I am one of the hosts/anchors for the news!   Check it out!   1st edition of FREDCast!   2nd edition of FREDCast!   These will run every Friday by mid-day.   And feel free to tease me!   :) ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

When is it OK? - Jan. 23, 2007 11:57 pm - Show/hide this post I was talking to a co-worker a few weeks ago about manners. And I was wondering--when is it OK to not be polite. For example, let's say you're walking along minding your business and you open the door to go inside a building. Normally, you'd go in and that's that. Now, let's say there's someone behind you. If you're courteous, you'd hold the door and let them in. That's cool and the polite thing to do. Nowwww, let's say you're walking in the door and there's someone behind you, but they are a couple of feet away. That's when you have to make a decision. Hmmm. Do you stand there and wait for them to get to the door? Or do you say, forget it, let them open the door their own self? Hmmm, what do You do? If you do decide to wait, how do you determine what's a good amount of distance? Do you hold the door if the person is 5 feet away, but not 7? And if you decide not to wait, are you being rude? And why do we always feel guilty or try to avoid eye contact when we don't? Hmmm. Now, flip the role around. Let's say you are the person that the door is being held for. When they hold the door, do you rush a little bit so they don't have to wait or do you keep the same stride? I mean, you didn't ASK them to hold the door anyway, so why rush? Are you being rude for taking your time? Hmmm. Next example. Let's say a person sneezes. If you are courteous, you say 'Bless you' ...That's cool because it's the polite thing to do. But what if they sneeze again, and again, and again? (You know how people have those sneeze attacks). Hmmm...how many times do you have to say 'bless you'? Is it OK to not say it after the second or third time? I mean, if the Man upstairs if giving away blessings like that, I don't want him to spend all his time on this one little sneezer...I want some of them blessings too. Ah choo!  :) ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Almost ready... - Jan. 19, 2007 2:34 pm - Show/hide this post I know I promised you this cool new feature and it's coming...just had to tweak a few things. Be on the look out its coming....and it's called FredCast!!! It's a weekly Internet broadcast news show starring yours truly and my talented co-host Alex "the man" Russell. It's a look back at the week and a look forward to the weekend. This is our first real show--we've done a few for practice but not for public viewing-- and it'll be up all weekend!!!!   Let me know what you think! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Something new - Jan. 18, 2007 11:09 pm - Show/hide this post Be sure to visit fredericksburg.com around mid-day on Friday. We plan to launch a new and really cool feature that we hope you love. I can't say what it is yet, but I'm super excited. And please, send your feedback and let us know what you think. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calling Chris Brown! I have been trying for months and months to get a hold of Chris Brown for an interview. And nothing seems to work. I've been to his concerts and tried to get backstage. I've waited in the lobby of the Marriott in Richmond, where I heard he stays when he comes to VA. And I've given my card to just about all of his relatives in his hometown of Tappahannock and my hometown of Warsaw. But this is all with no luck. So, now I'm asking anybody that thinks they can help a sistah out and get me a Chris Brown interview. I'd owe you dearly.   ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

In case you haven't heard... - Jan. 17, 2007 12:23 pm - Show/hide this post ...unleaded gas at the gas stations off of the Carmel Church Exit (104) in Caroline  is $1.95 per gallon. You know I filled up! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Take time to reflect on King - Jan. 15, 2007 5:37 pm - Show/hide this post TODAY IS Martin Luther King Jr. Day. This is the official day that we recognize and remember the greatness of a man who marched, who protested and who had a dream. To me, King represents strength, bravery, determination and all of the qualities of an unselfish leader. To me, that made him a real king. Instead of sending 22,000 troops to war, King went to war himself and stood on the front lines. Instead of worrying about what was wrong in other countries, he fought to fix what was broken in his own country. King was fighting the war on terror, except back then it was called racism. I wasn't born during his lifetime, but I can picture the images of him walking hand-in-hand with other protestors marching for equality. I remember the photos of him being dragged to jail to pay for a crime that wasn't a crime. And I know that he died fighting for rights that you and I have today. I respect King for that, and always will. So I hope that while some of you enjoy your day off from work, you will use this official day to recognize and remember this great man--this king. Instead of sleeping in a few extra hours, spend some time learning more about this hero and what he died for. Read his famous "I Have a Dream" speech and see how far we have come. Is his dream alive or is it deferred? Are we finally being judged by the content of our characters? Talk to your children to see what they know of his legacy. Please use this day to remember and honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Boyfriend--doot do doot do - Jan. 11, 2007 7:49 pm - Show/hide this post My boyfriend would KILL me if he knew I was blogging about us, but oh well! You may remember my column a few months ago about my boyfriend moving in. I received a few letters from people saying "how dare you write about that" or "you're living in sin" or "What kind of example are you setting for others?" But I also received more responses from people wondering if my dad had found out and what was his reaction. Well, yes, my dad found out...and while he probably wasn't thrilled with the idea that a Y-chromosome had moved in, he did say that I am an adult and make my own decisions. But they know each other and get along OK as far as I can tell. But to my dad, I guess anybody is better than my old boyfriend that he absolutely hated. As far as boyfriend and I, we are doing really good. We've lived together for aboout five months now and haven't killed each other yet. We have had ups and downs, mainly over petty stuff like not calling when we said we would or about who's turn it is to clean the kitchen (cause you know I don't do dishes). But things are going really good, and I can say that I'm happy. And believe it or not, he's turned me into a big football fan. I watch ESPN now just about every day (Who'dve thunk it?) I'm a Redskins fan (that's right!) and he likes the Buffallo Bills. I think we just might work. :) Aren't we cute? <3 <3 <3     ( 4 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Impact - Jan. 10, 2007 1:36 pm - Show/hide this post Ok. Yesterday was a test. I purposely didn't post a blog because I wanted to see who would really put me in my place. And guess what...NOBODY did. :( Either NOBODY read it or I have really dissappointed my blog readers for not writing in so long. I'm sure it's the latter. And I apologize. I had a tear-jerking moment this morning and realized that I need to stay on my toes cause people are watching. After videotaping a group of students at North Stafford High School, a young woman came up to me and my "assistant" and asked for our autographs. Wow, I thought. Then the young lady, whose name was Angelique, said she enjoyed reading the local paper because she got to read about regular, down-to-Earth people, just like her, who were doing something positive with their lives. It isn't all about being rappers or actors, like you see on TV, she said. She went on to say how we (as in journalists) were an inspiration to her because our professioned showed her that you don't have to be that famous actress or rapper to make a name for yourself. And that journalists are the ones that tell people's stories and showcase their talents by sharing it locally, even if it isn't on the big screen or radio hitlists. She said being a journalist was something she wouldn't mind doing. "I don't want to use the word hero,"  she said. "But [journalists] have really had an impact on my life." Then she walked away to go to class. My 'assistant' and I looked at each other, and I'm sure we had the same thought: Damn, that felt good. That felt really good! ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

I'm still alive! - Jan. 8, 2007 9:44 pm - Show/hide this post Yes, I'm still alive. I promise. I sort of got out of the habit of blogging, and have been hearing about it lately. So, part of my 2007 resolutions include a mandatory blog every Tuesday and Thursday. And if I don't you are allowed to get on my case. I try to blog about a variety of things, mainly things that are going on in and around my life, but I also wonder what are some topics you all would like to hear/talk about. Let me know. And if you want you can e-mail me privately. OK. Happy blogging starts tomorrow!   ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Give yourself credit, then manage it - Dec. 4, 2006 5:06 pm - Show/hide this post DO YOU know the score? Not the score of last night's football game, but the score. The score that determines your reliability, the score that can help qualify or deny you a loan. I'm talking about your credit score. Your credit score is a measure of your credit rating--calculated from data contained in your credit report. It is used by lenders to determine whether they grant a consumer credit or a loan. The majority of the lenders rely on the FICO system, which rates credit scores on a scale of 300 to 850. Generally, the higher the score, the more likely a lender is to approve a loan and the more likely one could qualify for a lower interest rate on a mortgage or car loan. Consumers with scores over 780--about 20 percent of the population--typically receive the best rates. After being a business reporter for two years, I learned a little "sump'n-sump'n" about credit scores and how to manage my own. And I wanted to share. I've been keeping close track of my credit score for about a year and it has paid off--or at least it will whenever I need it. I opened my first credit card account last September. One of the card's features is a monthly update of your credit score from one of the three major credit bureaus. I got my first update in October. It said my credit score for the previous month was 671. I thought that was pretty good, but keep in mind that I don't have many major expenses other than my car and student loans. I knew I'd possibly be buying a house in the next few years and thought increasing my credit score now would help decrease my interest rates later. But I learned there's more to your credit score than just what you have purchased. These are the five categories of credit data that can influence your score in varying degrees: Payment history, or how timely you've been in paying on your accounts. Amounts owed, outstanding balances on accounts and percentage of each credit line used. Length of credit history, or how long your accounts have been open. New credit, the number of recently opened accounts. Types of credit used, or the different types of credit relationships you have. Credit scores can change over time with all of your credit activity, but be aware that your regular spending habits and unexpected financial changes can also affect your score. Overspending, reduced income, death in the family, unemployment, medical expenses and separation or divorce are among the purchasing habits and life events that can result in a lower credit score. Remember, just because your credit score is good doesn't mean it can't be better, and if your credit is the worst doesn't mean it can't be fixed. Here are some steps to improve that credit score no matter your financial situation: Pay on time or early. Late payments can lower your credit score. Paying your bills on time for several months can begin to raise it. I started doubling the payment on my student loans and saw how fast my daily interest rate decreased. Play catch up. If you're behind on some accounts, the first step is to get current. Then start paying on time--the longer you do this, the better. Pay down your accounts. If your balance is more than 50 percent of your credit limit, paying more than the minimum amount due on your account can drive your balance down and your credit score up. Requesting a lower credit limit can increase your score, too. Give yourself time. A long history of responsible credit use can boost your score significantly. No matter what might have happened in the past, timeliness and responsibility can eventually help anyone establish good credit. Correct credit report errors. Check your credit report regularly. If you find any errors--and they do occur occasionally--contact the credit reporting agencies immediately. Trust me, these tips truly work (try saying that five times really fast). I recently received my credit score update for October and guess what it said? Drum roll, please 799. Need I say more? ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

RIP Gerald Levert - Nov. 10, 2006 11:47 pm - Show/hide this post After the death of Luther Vandross last year, old school  Soul and R&B music has been hit by the loss of  another legend. R-and-B crooner Gerald Levert, who was the son of O'Jays singer Eddie Levert,  died of a heart attack at his home today in Cleveland. He was 40. Anyone that has heard him sing can appreciate his  "romantic, baby-making" music. Back in the day I remember jamming to "Casanova" and now that I'm older, I can't think of a song of his that I didn't like. I especially loved his duet album with his father as they sung "Wind Beneath My Wings." And I liked the songs he had with the group LSG, which included him, Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill. RIP Gerald Levert. I know he will be missed.        VIDEO:        http://video.ap.org/vws/search/aspx/ap.aspx?t=s61&p=ENAPentertainment_ENAPentertainment&g=1110dv_obit_levert&f=VAFRE (CNN) -- Gerald Levert, the R&B singer whose hits included "I Swear" and "I'd Give Anything," as well as chart-toppers with the groups LeVert and LSG, has died, according to his label, Atlantic Records. He was 40. Levert died of a heart attack Friday at his Cleveland, Ohio, home, according a statement from Atlantic. "He was one of the greatest voices of our time, who sang with unmatched soulfulness and power, as well as a tremendously gifted composer and an accomplished producer," the statement read. "Above all, he was an exceptional human being whose warmth and grace inspired us all." Levert, the son of O'Jays member Eddie Levert Sr., first hit it big with his sibling Sean and friend Marc Gordon as the trio LeVert in the mid-'80s. The group's hits included the 1987 song "Casanova," which hit the Top Five on the pop charts. Gerald Levert went solo in 1991. His hits included a duet with his father, "Baby Hold On to Me." In 1997 he and singers Johnny Gill and Keith Sweat formed LSG. The group's self-titled album sold more than two million copies, and their hits included "My Body." More recent albums by Levert included 2002's "The G Spot" and 2004's "Do I Speak for the World." His most recent album was 2005's "Voices." Levert had four children. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

BREAKING NEWS!!!! - Nov. 7, 2006 4:47 pm - Show/hide this post ATTENTION, ATTENTION! THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS ALERT! We just received word that Brittany Spears and her husband, Kevin "K-Fed" Federline are no more. A court spokeswan in Los Angeles says Spears  filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences. ....I mean, did we not se this coming? Who are they anyway? The new Bobby and Whitney? I'll hold my breath until one of them comes out with a reality TV show. Maybe it'll be called "Being Brittany's Ex" or "Opps, I married the bastard again." Please...do NOT stay tuned! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Era of the CD meets quick end - Nov. 6, 2006 10:51 am - Show/hide this post STAMPS. Coins. Baseball cards. Comic books. Antiques. These are just a few things that people grew up collecting. What did I collect? Music CDs. I started in middle school because listening to music was the only thing you could really do at 13 while you were stuck at home without a TV or phone in your room. The first CD I ever owned was by R&B singer Faith Evans. My mom had one by Lionel Ritchie. I thought it was so cool how you could just skip to the next song without having to fast-forward, then rewind, then fast-forward again to get to the part you wanted to hear on a cassette tape. I had a small collection of tapes, too--an Alvin & the Chipmunks Christmas tape and the ones you'd put inside those old Teddy Ruxpin bears. But most of my tapes were devoured by the tape player in a flurry of shiny, brown carnage. When CDs came along, it was like death to the cassette tape. I think they're a major part of the fabric of my generation. Before I knew it, I wanted more and more, because the more CDs you had the cooler you were. But a $15 CD was pretty hefty on an eighth-grader's budget. So my mom and I came up with a plan. The more chores I did, the closer I came to getting a new CD. For example, washing dishes was 5 points, keeping my room clean was worth 10 points a week and vacuuming was worth 3 points. Good grades earned extra points, too. Once I reached 100 points, she'd buy me the new CD of my choice. Let me tell you, I was doing chores around the house like nobody's business. Today, I think I have about 400 or more CDs in my collection--from Paula Abdul and Christina Aguilera to the Notorious B.I.G. and TuPac. And now that I look back, it was a pretty good bribe on Mom's part, because she knew how much I loved getting new CDs. I bet it reminded her of the media that defined her generation--that's right, vinyl records and 8-tracks. My mom and dad had a ton of those things around the house years ago. I think they're still taking up space in the attic. My parents had a collection of 8-tracks by Earth, Wind and Fire, James Brown and Gene Chandler. Their records or LPs included The Drifters, Jerry Butler, Gladys Knight, Clyde McPhatter and--the one you know everybody in the neighborhood had, and probably still has--Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Now most of my CDs are sitting idle in the closet, just like those records and 8-tracks. That's because there's a new medium for a new generation--the mp3 and iPod generation. I haven't quite picked up the trend yet or started downloading songs. I don't even own an iPod. And you can't bribe kids to do chores or homework anymore. All it takes is a 99-cent download and they're jamming. Kids these days--they have all the luck! I need to find something else to collect. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Alabama Yo Momma - Nov. 3, 2006 2:18 am - Show/hide this post So I met a political standout Thursday afternoon. I am talking about Illinois Senator Barack Obama. With his booming voice and confident demeanor, there's no denying that he has a strong presence. And ladies, don't lie. It doesn't matter if you are Republican, Democratic, Independent or Insane, there's no denying that that man has got it going on. Behind that charming smile, there's some personality, too. At a rally I attended for work, he was there talking about how he got into politics. And he said the first thing people asked him was how did he get that funny name Barack Obama. And no matter how many times he said his name, people still couldn't get it right. He said people called him Alabama or Yo Momma. But now everyone knows Barack Obama, who is rumored to be seeking the presidency in 2008. I don't think I had ever heard of him 'til maybe last year or so, but the guy has a pretty interesting background, well according to him. He started off as a community organizer before he went into politics. He was also a law professor at a university and had a pretty decent resume (at least that's what he said). So as I was listening to him talk, I was thinking, "Wow. This guy has brains, beauty and a likeable personality." That's the kind of person most people would like to have in office--ya know, someone who is likeable AND smart....and the fact that he is easy on the eyes doesn't hurt. Anyway, I had the opportunity to speak with Barack yesterday. While he was trying to get away from the swarming reporters with microphones and videocameras, I held on to the edge of the stairway as he was walking down. I said, "Barack (like I've known him for a long time), are you going to run for president?" He looked at me and pointed at the ground and said "Don't fall." (Aww, he was concerned about my safety. Brains, beauty, personality and compassion--this is a hell of a guy, I thought.) I figured he didn't hear me the first time, so I repeated the question. He looked me right in the eye with that charming smile and said, "I said don't fall." Then he walked on down the stairs. I'm not sure if he was just trying to ignore my question or if he didn't want to make any public announcements yet about whether he will run. (Even though a P. Smitty exclusive would have been nice). But Barack, if you're out there, we will be speaking again! I promise.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Massa-nothing! - Oct. 17, 2006 2:03 pm - Show/hide this post For my birthday last month, boyfriend and I took a drive up to the Massanutten resort near Harrisonburg for the weekend. The stay was a free "gift" from my aunt and uncle who have a timeshare over there. The catch was we had to listen to a 90-minute presentation about the  resort and then decide if we wanted to buy into it. My sister, who had been before, warned us that they will use all kinds of tactics to convince us to but a piece of property. She told us to just say no. That sounded like a piece of cake! We were mainly just interested in the free vacation and the $100 gift card they give you at the end of the presentation, so buying a timeshare wasn't even an issue. So we checked in on Friday, and enjoyed the scenery. We found out our presentation time was scheduled for 8:30 a.m. the next morning. Danggit! No worries! We figured we'd get up early for that and spend the rest of the day swimming in the indoor waterpark, fishing in the overstocked ponds, working out in the weightroom , relaxing in the sauna, shopping at the nearby mall and enjoying the walking trails. We had it all planned out. 8:30 came and we were up and ready to go. Our tour guide was Yasmine, a 19-year-old JMU student, who seemed to know just about everything about the resort. We sat down at this table and she talked about all the things Massanutten had to offer. She went on and on about the skiiing, but that wasn't a draw for us. I'm a wimp and wouldn't dare volunteer to slide down a snowy hill where there are trees (Sonny Bono flashback), and my boyfriend said he would go skiing, but if he somehow got injured, it could possibly jeopardize his current football contract. Anywho, 90 minutes passed by before we knew it. She told us about all this great stuff and had us convinced that we don't vacation as often as we should. Beside, we work hard, we should play hard, she said. Right at that 90 minute mark she said, "you ready to go on a tour? I'll drive." Why not?, we said. Even though we had our day planned out and this would have offset our schedule. But when she showed us around the four-season resort, we were amazed. It was really beautiful and had a lot ot offer. Not only did our 90 minute presentation turn into a 4-hour tour, but I almost got suckered in to buying a timeshare. Let me tell you, these people are hard core. Yasmine started it off with an offer to get a one bedroom timeshare for about $175 a month plus maintainance fees. It sounded like a good deal, but we were able to say no. Then her manager came out and made the price even lower. I think he offered one to us for about $116 a month. I came close to falling for it, but boyfriend told the guy no. Then they took us to another room, where they sat us down and this old guy who looked like he really needed a cigarette said, "ok. I'm gonna make a deal with you." He wrote down a figure and slid it in our direction. "But this is as low as I can go." In black ink it said $75 a month. WHAAATTT? I thought.(I'm a sucker for a good deal. Remember the 6 boxes of steak I bought a few months ago...still sitting in my freezer. But hey, it was a good deal.) I looked at boyfriend and said, "I can't turn this down." He looked at me in disbelief. He said there had to be a catch. We asked what the catch was. "No catch." Then we asked what the interest rate was. "17 percent." Boyfriend got up and said  we're not interested and I'm leaving. Then we went and got our gift card. Bu the time we got back to our room, it was nearly 1 p.m. We missed our time for the waterpark and most of the other cool stuff we had planned to do. Instead we went to lunch, where we had a good view of the waterpark and we went to the mall. We took a nap, then were too lazy to go to the sauna or gym. So we stayed in and played a game of Phase 10 (I won). We left early Sunday morning, and now refer to Massanutten as a Massa-nothing, cause that's all we had time to do. But hey, it was free, right.           ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

How Ben Stein makes his money - Oct. 12, 2006 5:11 pm - Show/hide this post OK, Im slow. I have heard of Ben Stein from "Win Ben Stein's money, but I didnt know he was an attorney and the same guy that played in that Ferris Bueller movie. I also learned that he is a frequent commentator on CBS Sunday Morning show. SOmeone emailed me a commentary he wrote, and I thought it was quite interesting and true: Let me know your thoughts on it:   Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad. Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was  Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?  I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.   --Ben Stein     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Rain, rain, please go away - Oct. 6, 2006 9:09 pm - Show/hide this post Here I am writing about the rain again. I like the rain when its hitting my tin roof, but when I'm in my car--rain is the enemy. Ever since my flood experience in 2004, I always get a nervous feeling in my stomach about driving in the rain. I just don't like it, and will avoid it any way I can. That cold, scary day in August 2004 made it that way. For 45 minutes, my car was sitting in window high rainwater that was slowly seeping into the inside of my poor Impala. The current was pushing my car toward a group of trees. There was no help, no cell phone signal and I had no control. I thought I was going to die. I really did. Twice since that incident, I have slid into a ditch into the snow. But that wasn't as scary as the day in the rain. I can drive, I promise. But I can't/won't/don't want to drive in the rain. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Quarter-century mark is looming closer - Oct. 4, 2006 2:42 am - Show/hide this post Old age looming on horizon Quarter-century mark is looming closer Date published: 10/2/2006 AS A LITTLE GIRL, I always tried to stay up late. If I went to bed, I thought, I might miss something. When my dad would notice I was up, he'd tell me to go to bed or else "you'll start looking like you're 25." At the time, I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I figured it must be bad. So 25 has always been a scary age for me. Now that I just turned 24, I'm getting closer and closer to that age that has sparked fear for so long. But not just the fear of baggy eyes and pre-wrinkles. There's the fear of getting older and realizing that there's no turning back. My first age milestone was when I turned 13--I was finally a teenager and nobody could tell me nothing. Age 16 is usually a milestone, but I waited until I was 17 to get my driver's license. Then at 18, I could vote and at 21, I could drink. But after that, what's left to look forward to? People make a big deal about 25, but I don't see anything special about it--besides the fact that I'll get a decrease in my car insurance. And if you're 25, does that mean you're halfway to being over the hill? Don't get me wrong--I have enjoyed my 20s, but if you think about it, those years are one of the most confusing periods in your life. First, you have to come to the realization that you're not a kid anymore. Puppy-dog eyes don't look as cute to your parents now as they did when you were younger. Second, this is the time that you have to discover yourself and figure out who you really are. Third, you have more responsibility than you've ever had in your life and the least amount of experience. And lastly, you just might have to worry about "looking 25." This "looking 25" thing wasn't a big deal to me until a few months ago. I was at a restaurant and I thought I was dressed very nicely. (I was on a date). This young girl, she couldn't have been any more than 16 or 17, walked by and accidentally ran into me. "Excuse me, ma'am," she said. Ma'am? Did she just call me "ma'am"? I was pleased with her manners, but not with her choice of words. Couldn't she have called me "miss," or nothing at all? All of a sudden I became very aware of my age, and then I examined my face in the mirror. Do I LOOK 25? Had all those late nights as a child come back to haunt me? I didn't see any bags or noticeable wrinkles that night, but now I keep a bottle of anti-aging lotion in my purse, just in case. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com Date published: 10/2/2006 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

until next year... - Sep. 22, 2006 7:52 pm - Show/hide this post Sun. Sand. Swimming. Going to the beach. Vacation time. Driving with the window down and my music pumped up. Short-sleeved shirts and tank tops. Capri pants. Sandals and flip flops. Ice cream cones. Fireflies. Nice weather. King's Dominion. The hour and a half drive to Virginia Beach. Funnel cakes and elephant ears. The smell of sunblock location. Sitting on the porch watching cars go by. Listening to the song "Summertime" by the Fresh Prince. Pretending that I will exercise. Knowing that for at least a few months, I won't get stuck behind the school bus. Hanging out with my girlfriends without a care in the world because it's summer. Ahhh, summer ...you will be missed. Fall, welcome back.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

- Sep. 21, 2006 5:08 pm - Show/hide this post I know, I know. It's been a long time. And I apologize. Between working two jobs, helping my sister move and being a girlfriend, I haven't had a lot of free time to blog or do anything interesting to blog about. But last night, I did get to do something. I watched TV (besides the news). I didn't just watch TV, I watched America's Next Top Model--A show I have been obsessed with since my senior year of college....And yes, my college roommate called me after the 2-hour premiere to talk about which girl we liked or didn't like and who might win. If you've never seen it, it's kind of hard to explain how interesting it is. You may think it;s just a bunch of high siddidy skinny divas trying to be the next Tyra Banks, but it's so much more to it. You delve into the life of each girl and what they've been through. And you learn that modeling is more than just walking down a runway being pretty. Just give the show one watch, then you can tell me I'm weird. People say I'm weird because I haven't seen Lost or any of the Survivor shows. But hey, it's a free world and I can pick my own reality TV show. Speaking of shows, do you all remember back in the day when there was no such thing as reality TV and there were good quality shows. Where'd they go. I especially miss New York Undercover, Living Single and more recently Reunion. (how dare they cancel the show before revealing who the killer was!) CW, the new network that replaced UPN, got rid of Half & Half, another one of my favorite shows. (How dare they cancel the show before Mona decided between Chase and Lorenzo!) Anyway, as I was mourning over the loss of some of my favorite shows, I came across this Cancelled TV show quiz about shows cancelled last year. Wanna take a shot? I only missed 2. QUIZ   Also, leave a comment naming some of the 'cancelled" TV shows that you miss...I really miss New York Undercover.     ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

House is a different home with roommates - Sep. 4, 2006 11:34 am - Show/hide this post Date published: 9/4/2006 IT HAD been two years since I had a roommate, and I was enjoying the privacy of living by myself at my home. There's nothing better than walking around the house in your underwear or turning the radio up as loud as you want without disturbing anyone. On the other hand, having someone else to share bills and cleaning duties is a pretty big perk--assuming the two of you get along. I had the same roommate in college for three years. With the exception of some minor spats about whose turn it was to buy toilet paper or who ate the last slice of pizza in the fridge (it was usually me), we somehow managed to share a small dorm room and not hate each other. When my car note, student loan payments and the rising cost of gasoline started to wear my wallet thin earlier this year, I decided that a roommate wasn't a bad idea. So in June, Laura--an old high school friend--moved in. My house has four bedrooms. I stay upstairs and she stays downstairs, so we never get in each other's way. It's been about three months, and we've adjusted to each other pretty well. Two peas in a pod, right? Well, they say three's a charm. Last month, a third roommate moved in. While Laura and I get along, we had too many things in common, such as not liking to wash dishes, not having time to cook and not being able to fix things around the house. This is where roommate No. 3 comes in. This roommate takes out the trash. This roommate mows the lawn. And one day when I came home, this roommate had washed all the dishes. Whoo hoo! This roommate even washes my car and brings dinner home. That's because this new roommate is my new boyfriend. It wasn't something that was planned; it just sort of happened. Laura said she didn't mind because he was over all the time anyway. Plus, she likes the fact that she rarely has to take the trash to the dump now. Of course I like having him around to do all the manly stuff around the house, and I get to see his handsome smile more often. Besides the TV being on the sports channel when I turn it on, the only other weird thing about having a boyfriend as a roommate is downtime. You'd think I'd be comfortable around him any kind of way since I've known him for 12 years, but that wasn't the case at first. Before we started dating seriously, I tried to make sure I was wearing a cute outfit and had my hair looking somewhat presentable. But at home, I could kick off my shoes, put my hair down and walk around in my underwear--upstairs in my room when Laura was home. With him living in the house, beauty prep time isn't an option. I guess that has told me a little something about his feelings because he hasn't packed up yet. Living in the same house isn't awkward just for me; I'm sure he's adjusting too. He's sharing space with two girls--that's enough of an adjustment on its own. He's also adjusting to my little pet peeve about not walking on my carpet with his shoes on. He's adjusting to me always criticizing his very scary driving. But what really annoys him is when I "sample" food on his plate--even when I have my own. Speaking of food, I haven't had a lot of time to cook--and this guy has the appetite of a bear. That's probably why he sneaks off to his mom's house for home-cooked meals. But all and all, living under the same roof with my boyfriend hasn't been that bad. For the most part, we seem to have adjusted to each other almost seamlessly. There is still one more adjustment though, and it might be the hardest adjustment of them all. That's because I haven't exactly told my dad that boyfriend moved in. I haven't even introduced them to each other. My dad knows him, but not in that context. I guess he'll be finding out soon. My fingers are crossed. Wish me luck! To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com Date published: 9/4/2006 ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

You don't have to go home, but you got to get out of here - Aug. 16, 2006 7:58 pm - Show/hide this post OK, So last night was a Cracker Barrel night for me. I roll in a little after 6 p.m. because traffic was terrible and get ready to spend the next five hours on my feet hustlin' back and forth between the server line and the main restaurant lobby. They put me in the smoking section, which meant I'd be holding my breath most of the night. The Smoking section isn't too bad. The customers are usually so glad to have nicotine in their system that they usually leave a good tip, unless you gave them really crappy service and they leave next to nothing beside their cigarette ashes. Being that I had just come back from out of town for my family reunion, spent more than I should have on my new cell phone and my wallet was near E, I told myself that I needed to make some good moolah on this night. The restaurant got really busy and the smoking section was steady for a Tuesday (that never happens). Most of my tables were leaving about $4 or $5, so I was off to a good start towards my goal. Anyway, it was 10 p.m. aka closing time, and I was so ready to go home since I had worked both jobs. But I had one more table left that I had to wait for. Maybe they'll leave soon. The priorities of our nightly errands are 1. Clean our tables (wipe them down, sweep under them, dump out the salt and pepper shakers and sugar caddies. Since I was in smoking, I had 7 tables compared to the other servers who had four); 2.  Do our sidework. (I was assigned to the coffe and tea station); and 3. Roll 100 sets of silverware. Since I had the last table, I had to skip doing my tables and start on my sidework first. 10:30 came and went, and those customers were still there talking and sucking on their cigs. I started to get antsy at this point because I couldn't sweep my tables until they were gone, which means I couldn't start my silverware, which means I couldn't leave. Why me? Why couldn't Norma or one of the lazy servers get that table, I thought, lol. By 10:45, or almost 11 p.m., that table finally left. They left me $5, and a messy table. Norma, who was the checker for the night, was mad because she couldn't leave until I was done. I figured she'd let me off the hook on silverware since all of the other employees were gone and I still had to sweep under seven tables. But nope, she told me she was leaving and to make sure I put clean ashtrays on my tables and rolled my silverware. Dangit! So I sat there til 11:45 rolling silverware by myself in the front lobby waiting for the manager to get off the phone and sign me out. (Don't tell nobody, but I really only rolled about 40 or 50 silverware anyway). Anyway, the point of this long, boring, dragged-on story is...don't just sit in restaurants chatting and wasting time after they have already closed. We employees do want to go home at some point. I mean, YOU don't necessarily have to go HOME... but you got to get up out of HERE [the restaurant].   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I got suckered - Aug. 8, 2006 5:02 pm - Show/hide this post We serve a lot of good food at Cracker Barrel. My favorites include their meatloaf, Sunday's homestyle chicken and their turnip greens. But for some reason, I'd been having a craving for our 10 oz. Ribeye Steak. A lot of my customers had been ordering them, and I don't think I have to tell you how good steak smells. So you can imagine how much torture it is to have to smell all this good food for several hours without having some. So, on my day off, I went in to pick up my check and decided to order a Ribeye to go. With a side of turnip greens, mac and cheese and okra. And it was DELICIOUS!!! I don't think I had ever had a steak that tasted that good. My belly was full and my tastebuds were satisfied. Later that night, there was a knock on my door. It was some guy selling Omega Meats. He said it was the end of his shift and he had a few boxes of beef, chicken and seafood left, if I wanted to buy them. This guy has come by before trying to sell his meat and I always turn him down. But this time, that ribeye was so good.. I had to have more. That way, I'd have a few in the freezer whenever I got another craving. But he also had T-bones and sirloins and boneless strips and filet mignon and more. He said if I bought the package, he'd give me a good deal. All I could think about was more ribeye, more ribeye. So now I have 52 vacuum sealed steaks in my freezer and $189 out of my wallet. Boy, did I get suckered.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Time on the highway frays wallet, nerves - Aug. 7, 2006 11:29 am - Show/hide this post IF YOU'RE a commuter, raise your hand. Raise it high, now. OK, if you're tired of getting caught in traffic, say, 'I'm tired of it!' If you're sick of paying these high gas prices, say it again. Say it louder! I'm a commuter, too. On average, I drive about 94 miles a day to and from work and spend about $240 a month on gas. I have a credit card that I use only for gas, just to keep track. I don't run into too much traffic on Interstate 95, but there is the occasional slow driver in the fast lane or the big rig that tries to run me off the road. And you know what? I'm tired of it! I'm wondering what it will take for someone to take a stand for all the commuters who have to sit in traffic all day. Maybe if millions of us stood outside the headquarters of the big oil companies or outside of Congress, something could happen. Who am I kidding? We'd probably have a better chance getting together and clicking our heels. Or maybe someone will finally invent that Star Trek transporter machine, so Scotty could beam us up to the workplace. Until then, we are stuck putting the pedal to the metal and emptying our wallets. But let's take a look at the bright side of commuting. I sometimes use that time to clear my mind and set goals for the day. (Does that count as working off the clock?) And it's the one time I get to blast Paris Hilton's song "The Stars are Blind" without anyone knowing. (Yes, I like that song.) I also have mastered how to cut my 45-minute commute by 15 minutes if I leave at a certain time and go at a certain speed. Another plus, for me at least, is that when I'm at home, work is on the other side of that commute, far, far away. But on the not-so-bright side of commuting, it can cause a lot of stress or road rage and the associated health problems. And it can take away from time that could or should be spent with family and friends. So, if you do commute, try to balance it. Make sure whatever you are commuting for is worth it, whether it's that prestigious position or that fat paycheck. And hopefully you are commuting to a job that you enjoy. I do. OK, commuters, you can put your hands down now. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com Date published: 8/7/2006 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I'm a Loser - Aug. 4, 2006 8:45 am - Show/hide this post I lost 5 pounds in a month...and I wasn't even trying! Go me! Go me! Go me! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

It's hot! - Aug. 2, 2006 7:07 pm - Show/hide this post It's hot! And you've heard how hot it is. It's so hot I can't even tell you how hot it is. It's so hot you can fry an egg on a sidewalk. It's so hot the sun tried to find shade. It's so hot that I've found various "It's so hot" sayings all over the Web. I'll share some of the funny ones with you: It's so hot that: the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. the cows are giving evaporated milk. the trees are whistling for the dogs. you can say 113 degrees without fainting. you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. you can make instant sun tea. you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. if the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. the 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.  you can get a sunburn through your car window. you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. hot water now comes out of both taps. it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. you actually burn your hand opening the car door. you break out in a sweat the second you walk outside at 7 a.m. before work. you couldn't imagine not having A/C in your car. Here are some of Dave Letterman's hilarious "It's so hot" Top 10's: It's so hot: Star Jones has enjoyed getting the cold shoulder from Barbara Walters. The terror alert was raised to "sweaty." Drug dealers are selling something called Iced Crackuccino. Jennifer Lopez just got engaged to Mr. Softee. The Statue of Liberty is holding a snow cone. and it's so hot, Barry Bonds is now being accused of injecting Slurpees. Man, it's just hot.       ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Trying to reel HIM in to a camping trip - July 27, 2006 1:48 pm - Show/hide this post My college buddy Mary called me last night and said she wanted our crew from M-Dub (That's what Mary Washington was called when we went there) to get together and go on a camping trip in Shanendoah next month. It's been awhile since we've seen each other, and she thought it'd be a good way for us to bond all over again. I'm not really a nature or outdoorsy person, but I'll try anything at least once. So I was in. And she told me most people were bringing 'significant others,' so I could invite HIM, if I wanted to. In other words, her nosey butt wanted to meet this guy I've been talking so much about--so she can give HIM the 'friend test'. lol. I thought that'd be a great idea. Since our schedules are so different, I figured it would give me and HIM a chance to actually do something fun together---and see if he passes the 'friend test'. (Cause the dad test would come next, and that's a tough test since I'm the baby girl). Behind the city boy look--white T-shirt, baggy jeans and cornrows--HIM is really  just a country boy on the inside. He loves fishing, and being out on the water, so I figured it'd be an easy task to convince him to hang out with a bunch of my girlfriends and other complete strangers. So I asked him, and he thought it sounded like a good idea. "But there's one catch," I said. "What?" "We're going to have to sleep in a tent," I said trying to look like sleeping outside in the mountains on a hot summer weekend with no a/c was something I did all the time. He just stared at me at first to see if I was joking. "It'll be fun," I said. "In a tent? In the mountains? You know it's animals out there right?" (Here comes the city boy). "Yeah, I know," I said with a fake optimistic attitude, knowing good and well I don't deal well with animals either. "But you could do a lot of fishing." A look of  'well, I do want to go fishing' was on his face, but he was still unsure about the tent thing. I told HIM to think about it since we still had a few weeks until the get-together, so I'm still in convincing mode. I've never been camping so I don't really know how fun it is, or what I could say that would get HIM past the tent issue and really reel him in. (haha, reel him in. He likes fishing, get it? lol!) Anybody have any persuasive words I could borrow?   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

It's a family affair - July 20, 2006 11:49 pm - Show/hide this post Today, my grandmother's side of the family is having a little get together at a private park in Caroline County. Busy schedules and long distances don't allow us to gather as often as we like, but we do get together for this annual picnic and family events, like weddings and funerals. Although this part of the family are all descendants from the Andersons from Caroline County, I don't think there are many "Andersons" left. My grandmother, Ruth Smith,  was the oldest child of Clarence Peyton  and Susie  Coleman Anderson. Grandma had four sons. Then came Aunt Audrey, who is now a Green. She had six children. My grandmother had a brother named Clarence Anderson, but he died when I was a baby. And I don't know his children. And then there's Aunt Marion, whose married name is WIlliams. She had two children. The Smiths, Greens and Williams, and friends, all gather at a beautiful private park and catch up with each other. It's a fun time because we swim, dance, eat and listen to the older relatives reminisce about back in the day. And it's a real good time. It's a fun time for the little kids because they get to run around and play without getting hushed like they would in church. (I just hope I don't get splashed.) It's the perfect time for the cooks in the family to show off their specialty dish. (I hope Aunt Patricia makes her mac-n-cheese, yum.) It's the right event for the single folks to introduce any significant others. (I haven't decided if I'm bringing the new beau yet.) And it's the time where family members from far away make a point to come back home. My sister is coming from Maryland. And my cousin Ricky is coming from California. And with him, he is bringing the newest addition to the Smith family...his twin boys. They were born in December, and this is the first time they've come to Virginia. I'm really excited to see them, not just because babies are cute. But these babies are super cute, I hear. I say that because I hear they look just like me when I was a baby. Ricky's sister, LaKeita, has a litle girl that also looks very similar to me. I call her "mini-me." Anyway, I just wanted you all to see my cute mini-me babies:     ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

If you're happy and you know it... - July 19, 2006 8:28 pm - Show/hide this post OK,OK. I'm here, and I'm blogging. I know it's been almost a week since I've bared my soul on here, but don't blame me. Blame "HIM"! HIM is the reason I haven't blogged. HIM is the reason I can't concentrate on any one thing too long. Him is the reason I'm so HAPPY!. When I'm not working two jobs, cruising up I-95, grocery shopping or fiddling with my hair, I'm with HIM. When I'm not updating the Web site, serving up the Cracker Barrel special of the day, or trying to decide between Dr. Pepper or Dr. Thunder in the soda aisle, I'm thinking of HIM. Who am I kidding? I'm thinking about HIM when I am doing all of those things. I wonder what HIM is doing right now. (yeah, I'm smiling) You see, HIM and I have known each other for over 12 years. 12 years and 2 months to be exact. I remember because I had the biggest crush on him when I was 12 years old--a crush that stayed with me up until the end of high school. We met at Vacation Bible School, and he is the cousin of one of my good friends. (I blogged about reuniting with him a few weeks ago). Anyway, from 12 to about 16 or 17, I crushed on him and he just crushed my heart. All that time, he never showed a hint that he liked me, so I finally gave up. Now, things are so different. He calls me just to see what I'm doing. He does little things around the house for me, like taking out the trash and washing my car. This morning, he called me right before I was getting ready for work and said, "I miss you." Knowing HIM from back in the day, I'm like "Who are YOU and what did you do with HIM."  This is a totally different side of HIM that I'm seeing now than the HIM I knew in high school. But I'm not complaining. I like the new HIM. The more mature HIM. The HIM that finally likes me back--I wonder what took HIM so long! I'm not exactly sure where our relationship stands right now. I mean, we aren't girlfriend/boyfriend, but we're not dating anyone else seriously either. So, we're kind of in that in-between stage where things are going really good, but we haven't had "the talk" yet. But no need to rush a good thing, right? I mean, I waited this long. The weird thing is how much HIM makes me HAPPY. I've had several boyfriends and dated before, but  I don't think I've ever been this giddy. I smile everytime he says my name, or when I hear his ringtone on my phone. (I'm smiling so hard right now that my cheeks hurt). I get goosebumps when he hugs me goodbye, and then kisses me on the forehead. I feel like I want to jump to the highest mountain and hold up a banner saying how HIM makes me feel. I haven't had a bad day in weeks because when I think of HIM I get so high nothing else can bring me down. Is it possible to be this happy about a person? Or am I crazy? Crazy about HIM, my sister would say. On second thought, don't blame HIM for me not blogging in a few days. Because of HIM, I'm blogging at this very moment. I wonder what HIM is up to. I'mma call HIM right now.   ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

- July 13, 2006 7:39 pm - Show/hide this post My roommate from college (Hi, Amal) invited me to go with her to a Washington Nationals baseball game against the Padres. I know nothing about baseball, not even a huge fan of the sport, but when I heard the word free, I was in. She isn't a huge fan either, but her boss gave her the tickets, and they were pretty good seats. I even wore a Nationals T-shirt someone had given me. I planned on enjoying myself. We got to the stadium about an hour after the game started, mostly because the roads in D.C. are confusing and people just look at you funny when you ask for directions. When we got inside, the first thing we wanted to do was get a hot dog. That's part of the whole baseball experience right? So we got in what seemed like a never-ending line and gawked at the menu. "$5 for a damn hot dog! $4 for a 20 oz. soda! We are getting robbed here." But just like everyone else, we caved in to the craving and dug deep into our pocketbooks. "It's all a part of the All-American baseball experience," I told my old college roomie. So we sucked it up, and gobbled our hot dogs down. We laughed and talked and joked on some of the people in the crowd. There was this one old man that was hilarious. Everytime the camera got on him he would stand up and do a continuous pelvis thrust as if he was trying to square-off with Elvis. "Work it, old man!" we said. I guess he was just enjoying the experience. There was a couple sitting beside us that had recently got engaged. She was admiring the diamond ring I was wearing. "That's a beautiful ring, can I see it?" Her fiancee had a nervous look on his face as if he got her the biggest ring he could afford. I held my hand closer to her and said, "It only cost me $9.99. But if it was on the other hand it'd  be real." She and my roomie just laughed at me. Her fiancee looked relieved. Then there were two groups of young guys in the rows in front of us. One group was about high-school age and annoying as ever, the other group was about college age. They were annoying, but not as much as the high school group. They were standing up the whole game, hitting each other and acting silly, like high school boys do. But after watching "The Three Stooges" for 30 minutes, it's time to change the channel. At that point, one fan got upset and asked the tallest kid to sit down. He didn't exactly ask in a nice way, which cause a heated arguement between the two. The two turned to three when another angry fan got up in the kid's face telling him to sit down and shut up. The baseball experience was getting interesting.  The Three Stooges turned into Jerry Springer, except the rest of the crowd was screaming "Soriano" instead of "Jerry" because they were all watching the game. The kid got all pissed saying "Why don't you ask nicely". One of the angry man said " I don't have to ask YOU nothing." So then I yelled, "Hey, can you PLEEASEEE sit down?" I didn't exactly say it nicely, but the little punk did sit down saying, "That's all he had to say." Shoooooot, he didn't want to mess with P. Smitty! Later,  he and his crew moved to different seats making smart-allick comments like, "Oh no. Don't stand up, this is a sporting event! You're not allowed to stand up and make a lot of noise." It didn't bother me, but it pissed off the angry fan, who then reported the group to the stadium security. Then the kids got even more pissed. But hey, I guess that's part of the experience. Then these cute little kids came to the edge of the row and wanted to start a wave, another part of the baseball experience. But no one paid them any attention. So the college guys helped them out and ran across the edge of the front row to help them get it started. "Wave!" they yelled and I stood up and flaired my arms in the air. My roomie didn't get in on the experience, neither did the rest of the crowd. By the time the wave reached the middle of the stadium, it just died and our side of the stadium boo-ed them. It sucks to get boo-ed, but it is fun to be doing the boo-ing, if that makes sense. So anyway, we attemped the wave probably about 10 times before the little kids just gave up. And we boo-ed about 10 times, too. Poor kids, they just wanted to be a part of the baseball experience. During the 8th inning, my former roomie and I decided to leave the game early so we didn't have to experience the traffic. Not sure who won the game, but it was a fun time. And before we left, we got to see one more camera shot of that old man having the time of his life ...thrusting that pelvis like Elvis. "Work it, old man!" What an experience!         ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Cell phone-less... kinda - July 12, 2006 1:52 pm - Show/hide this post I feel naked. I mean, I have on clothes and shoes and socks. But without my cell phone, I feel like I'm missing everything. My cell phone was already near death when I dropped it on Saturday, but that was the fatal fall. My screen went blank, then cloudy white. But that red blink light thing kept on blinking. Oh nooooo, my phone! My "New Every Two" promotion doesn't kick-in until October, and I don't want to spend $100, $200, $300 on a brand new phone before then. In addition to not having a cell phone that works properly, I lost my address book, my text messages and my pictures (Bye, bye close-up pictures of John Legend, Mint Condition, T.I. and LL Cool J). So, I'm sad about my dead phone, then all of a sudden it rings...Is God calling me?, I thought. Turns out, I can receive calls and make them, but I just can't SEE anything. And the "flip" part of my phone is VERY FRAGILE." So if anyone calls my cell, I won't know who it is before answering...weird...darn my addiction to Caller ID. And if I need to call someone, I better know their number by heart because I can't get into my address book. And of course, I've never needed to memorize numbers because I "got them in my cell phone." That sucks for me now. Darn my addiction to technology! My dad called me today to tell me I could borrow his cell phone until I got a new one... awww, isn't he sweet? Thanks Dad, since i cans till make and get calls for now,  I'll just wait. When I went to my cellular provider, they said I could get my "New Every Two" in August. (Even though I know I got my phone in Oct. 2004). But if they say August, I can go for that! Well, good thing it's summer outside, 'cause I couldn't stand being naked for a month in the cold. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

High School Not-So-Sweetheart - July 10, 2006 2:05 pm - Show/hide this post High school sweetheart. Everybody had one. The two of you were inseparable. Walking with each other between classes, eating lunch together or sneaking in kisses when the teacher wasn't looking. Ah, the days of pure puppy love at its finest. My high school sweetheart was named J.T. (For those of you who have been reading me for while, my high school sweetheart is different from my first love, Dwon, or my first crush, who I will come back to later. What? A girl has a right to change her mind!) Anyway, J.T. and I started dating when I was in the 9th grade. He was two years older than me and a cutie pie. I think we dated for about a year and a half before we broke up. Yeah, we had our problems and were off and on for a bit, but it was what he said. "I love you, but I can't wait for you." or some crap like that. He had graduated, and was ready to move on with life. He was ready to get married, have kids and join the military. Too much for me, who was fresh out of the 10th grade. It wasn't until later that I found out that he was ready for all of that with someone else...his boss, a woman seven years older than him who he had introduced me to before as a good friend. They had gotten married a couple months or so, maybe a year, after our break-up. Isn't that some mess! They had some kids and then he spent a brief time in the military. For months after I had heard about the marriage, the same song played in my head, the one by Vesta Williams that goes..."Congratulations...I thought it would have been me." But honestly, I was pissed. Not because I wanted to be with him still, but because I felt betrayed. And to be honest, I think I really hated him for that. I ran into his mom about five or six years ago. She asked how I was, and whispered to me, " I thought you were going to be my daughter-in-law." I guess I wasn't the only one that was fooled. But Anyway, for the first time in like eons, I saw J.T. on Saturday. He plays on the same semi-pro football team that my first crush/current sweetie plays on. So, it was kind of awkward seeing them play together. Especially since we all went to high school together and all know the "situation." My nose automatically scrunched up when I first saw J.T. standing on the sideline. Then I had to ask myself, do I still dislike him for what happened nearly a decade ago? I mean, it would feel good to tell him off and get the closure that I never got back then. But that wouldn't be nice, now would it? But seeing him on the sidelines not getting any gametime was closure enough for me......especially when my current sweetie is the team's quarterback, getting plenty of gametime even with a fractured finger. My new favorite football team won 37 to 24. Go Virginia Ravens! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Donovan Hence - July 4, 2006 4:08 pm - Show/hide this post I didn't know him THAT well, but I knew him. Everytime I saw Donovan Hence working at Walmart on Brook Road in Richmond, we'd hug and ask how the other was doing. "Same old, same old," he'd say. "Yeah, me too," I'd tell him. And that was kinda it. We weren't that close-knit, but our families are. It goes back to 1969. My mom had just landed a job as a Virginia Cooperative Extension agent in Warsaw, Va. She was greeted my the Roane family, who welcomed her into their Westmoreland County home for about a year or so until she was able to afford a place of her own in Warsaw. People did that kind of thing back then, ya know. Mrs. Roane's son, Irving, picked my mom up from the bus station and showed her around the town of Warsaw, where my mom would later raise her family. Irving, and his wife Shirley, (Donovan's grandparents) were very hospitable and treated my mom as if she was a part of their family. And my mom never forgot it. Irving and Shirley were named the Godparents of her first-born child, my sister Chelsea, who was born in 1971. And guess the name of one of Irving and Shirley's daughter-in-laws...yup, Portia. I don't think I was named after her, but it is a coincidence. Another coincidence is that Portia worked in the advertising department of The Free Lance-Star before I started working here. Anyway, point is, my family and Donovan's family go way back. Last time I talked to Donovan, I think was around Christmas time. He was working at Wal-Mart, and told me that his dad, his name is Glenwood, but we call him Arthel, had to go overseas to Iraq. Arthel, who is my sister's Godbrother, was in the Army. (He might be in the Reserves now. My dad said he was a 2nd Lt., but he couldn't remember if he had made it to Captain or not.) About two weeks ago, my dad and I were at that same Wal-Mart waiting to get an oil change for my car, and I said, "You know what, I haven't seen Arthel's son in here in awhile." "Oh, I need to call Irving and Shirley and see how they're doing," my dad said. And that was kinda it. So it was a terrible shock last night when I saw Donovan on the 11 O'clock news. "Accident kills three people in Hanover." (click here then click link to see video of the scene with photos of Donovan) Me, my sister and my roommate were playing cards at the time the awful pictures from the accident were on the screen. But when the picture of 22-year-old Donovan Hence showed up, my sister and I both gasped. I jumped from the couch and got closer to the TV to make sure I saw who I thought I saw. And it was. Then Arthel was on the screen talking about what kind of person Donovan was, and how excited he was about his new job at the Richmond International Airport--I guess that's why I had stopped seeing him at Wal-Mart. It was after 3 a.m. Donovan and his co-worker, 21-year-old Eric Forbes, had just gotten off from work. Eric had offered Donovan a ride home, but his car broke down along I-295. Eric called his sister, 30-year-old Gretchen Forbes O'Connor, who lived nearby. The three were standing on the shoulder of the highway trying to fix the car when a tractor trailor veered off the road, killing all three of them instantly. Truck driver Timothy Taylor has been charged with reckless driving and could face additional charges. I didn't know Donovan that well, but I wish I had taken the time to get to know him better. My prayers are going out to Arthel, Irving, Shirley and the rest of the family, and may Donovan rest in peace. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Pool time doesn't suit some - July 3, 2006 4:11 am - Show/hide this post FOURTH OF JULY is tomorrow, and it's usually the day that my dad and his wife open the pool in their backyard. You might think that I'd be over there every day the sun is shining, but truth is, I haven't been swimming in over two years. It's not that I don't know how to swim--I took lessons for years. And I'm not one of those afraid to get my hair wet. So what's keeping me out of the water? My pooch. That's right, I said it. Pooch. Spare tire. Extra baggage. Or just plain old pot belly. Call it what you want. My sister calls it "done lap." That's when your belly "done lapped" over your belt. And it's that done lap that done kept me out of a bathing suit. And the stores don't make my belly complex any better. Walk into any swimwear section, and see cute bikinis and two-piece outfits on display. I often ask myself who, other than Halle Berry or Paris Hilton, can actually wear these bikinis and feel comfortable. What about those of us who don't want to bare it all? One-piece bathing suits are OK, but never as stylish as the bikini. Those sarong things are good for those who want to conceal hips and thighs, but it doesn't solve the problem of the belly of the beast. And what sense does it make to spend $50 to $75 on a cute bathing suit only to cover it up with a long T-shirt? Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think women who are holding a little extra should be ashamed of their bodies. I'm not. I'm proud of my pooch, and I'm sure there's a six-pack up under there somewhere. But keep in mind, just because we might be comfortable with our belly baggage or thunder thighs doesn't necessarily mean the rest of the world is. And, men, just say no to Speedos. Please. I really do want to go swimming this summer, but I might take a dip in the gym first. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com Date published: 7/3/2006 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Mow the lawn? Not me - June 29, 2006 7:16 pm - Show/hide this post Pollen. Dust. And my sister's breath. Those are three of the four things that I am allergic to. What's the fourth? Fresh cut grass. I can't stand being around the stuff. My eyes get all watery and puffy and my nose goes out of control. It's always been this way ever since I was little. If someone was cutting the grass outside, I'd close all the doors and windows to avoid having to use an entire box of tissues. And I always hated driving by a big field when someone was on a tractor cutting grass. My dad had a green riding mower that stopped working for some reason. It's sitting in my back yard with two old cars and a bunch of other stuff that he says "ain't nothing wrong with it, it just needs to be fixed." Well, he actually fixed the mower this time. I guess he was getting tired of hauling his brand new silver mower to my house everytime my grass and all those buttercups and dandelions creeped up on the lawn. Turns out the green mower had a bad wire that needed to be replaced. As soon as it was fixed and he cut, literally,  "a portion" of my grass, he called me to tell me he had the mower working again, so I could start cutting my own grass. "What are you talking about," I said. "You know I'm allergic to grass." "Oh, that's right" he said disappointed. Then all of a sudden, he told me he thought the tire might be a little flat and he'd have to come back another day to put some air in it. lol. I bet he can't wait 'til I get a boyfriend to do (or try to do) all the "Mr. fix it" stuff that he does around the house now. Let's just say it's in the works. ***Stay tuned.*** ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Backstage pictures from the WPGC concert - June 26, 2006 5:00 pm - Show/hide this post Hey guys, Finally got my pictures back from the concert. Check them out! History of WPGC concert photos Sorry I couldn't get the captions in the gallery of who is in each pic--but I'll put it here. 1. Big Tigga from BET and Portsia 2. Bow Wow performing on stage 3. Bow Wow again 4. Chuck Brown, the Godfather of Go-Go and Big Tigga 5. Chuck Brown 6. Chuck Brown on stage  7. Chuck Brown 8. Cleo Thomas from the movie "Holes" and Bow Wow's hype man 9. Ryan Dent, one of the crump dancing clowns from Baltimore 10. WPGC morning show host Donnie Simpson and Portsia 11. Donnie Simpson with the two security guards that let me borrow their cameras (Thanks Terence) 12. Portsia with Ryan the Clown and Genghis, lead singer of the Backyard Band (a Go-Go group) 13. M.C. Hammer and Chuck Brown 14. Portsia and M.C. Hammer 15. M.C. Hammer smiling for the camera 16. Hammer getting ready to go on stage 17. Hammer performing one of his gospel songs 18. Hammer talking to fans after his performance 19. Hammer on stage 20. Portsia and WPGC DJ Hercules 21. One of the twins from Jagged Edge, either Brian or Brandon 22. LL Cool J (Ladies Love Cool James) 23. LL Cool J walks across the stage--check out his LL Cool J microphone stand 24. LL is standing right in front of me...arghhhhhhhh!!!!! I'm drolling! 25. Darth Vader clears the way for LL to walk up on stage 26. Portsia and Pleasure, an up and coming artist under Hammer's label 27. Pleasure, yup, he's a cutie 28. Me hanging out with my new best friends, Shai, who sang "If I ever fall in Love" and "Comforter" 29. Shai members (l to r) Erik Willis, Marc Gay, Darnell Van Rensatier and Garfield "G" Bright. 30. Wingo of  Jagged Edge ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

On the red carpet with P. Smitty - June 24, 2006 4:40 pm - Show/hide this post Where are all my hip-hop heads at? Let me see  you, put your hands up. 'Cuz you are not going to believe what I am about to say. I'm not even sure if I believe it yet. I got tickets to go the the History of WPGC concert at the Verizon Center in D.C. last night, and had somewhat OK seats. I took my college buddy Ryan with me because she LOVES LL Cool J, who was the show's headliner. The point of the concert was to celebrate the 19 years of hip hop and R&B by one of the top urban stations in DC, WPGC 95.5. They had old school acts, such as E.U., Chuck Brown and Lisa Lisa; new school acts, such as T.I., Jagged Edge and Bow Wow. LL Cool J (real name James Todd Smith---but no relation to me though) has been in the game for a long time, so it was appropriate to have him as the star of the show. He represented both the old and new school being that he had albums out when I was still riding on training wheels and has a new album, (his 12th I think), coming out soon. Anyway, Ryan and I were jamming to the go-go sounds of E.U., who sang "Doin' the Butt" back in the 80's, Nonchalant, a DC native and one hit wonder who sang "Five O'Clock in da Morning," Lisa Lisa, who is 4-months preg-o and used to be with the Cult Jam, sang a few of her hits, like "All Cried Out", "Head to Toe" and "Need You Tonight". She didn't sing my favorite song of hers, which is "Let the Beat hit 'Em." Then T.I., the self-proclaimed King of the South, got on stage with so much energy I could hardly keep up. I was jammin' to his current hit "Why you wanna" when I noticed two people with flashlights searching for something. I was just hoping they were'nt going to tell me I was in the wrong seats. They pointed the flashlight at me and said "Are you Portsia Smith?" Damn, I am in the wrong seats, I thought. "Yes," is what I said though. "You can come with us," a woman wearing a WPGC T-shirt said. "Where are you taking me?" "You're with the press right? We're taking you backstage" I couldn't believe it. Unfortunately, since I was the only with with media credentials, I had to leave my friend Ryan behind, but she understood. Duty called, and she said if it was her she would have done the same thing. I called her about every 45 minutes or so to check on her though. Anyway, they walked me right up to the front of the stage where T.I. was performing. Security guards were in front of the front row. I was in front of the security guards, with nothing in between me and T.I. but a few feet. He looked right into my camera phone as I went to take a picture. I almost peed in my pants. But of course my slow camera phone didn't click at the right time, so I didn't get that perfect shot. After he got off stage, I tried to ask him some questions on my digital audio recorder, but his body guards wouldn't let me get to him. But I didn't give up, I knew my fredericksburg.com readers were counting on me. Just slightly missing an elbow to the forehead from his guard, I screamed out, "T.I., what do you want to say to your fans in VA?" "Thanks for all the support," he said to me. I almost peed in my pants again. Two girls were escorted inside of his white van (nope, not a limo) and then he was gone. Yeah, I was close to T.I. and he talked to me, but that was nothing compared to the rest of the night. I was rubbing elbows with Jagged Edge, Shai (my new favorite group from back in the day), M.C. Hammer, DJ Kool, Big Tigga, Lisa Lisa, Donnie Simpson, Michele Wright, Chuck Brown and two of Bow Wow's boys, DJ Jus and this dude named Cleo, I think, who is his hype man on stage. You might remember me talking about DJ Jus in a past blog. I met him at the Chris Brown concert in December and he is the kid who played in the movie "Prison Song." He was cool and gave me a hug, I asked him if he remembered me from the last time and he said yeah. He might have been saying that to make me feel good, or it might have been that I was wearing the same exact purple pants that I wore at the last concert, lol. So, let me tell you about Bow Wow. Just because he 19 now and got a successful album out, don't mean he got to be all snobby. When he came off stage, I tried to get a few words in through his body guards, same way I did with T.I. The body guards were all in my case, but I managed to scream out to him. "Bow Wow, what do you want to say to your fans in VA? Your  female fans want to know if you're available." Do you know, he just looked at me then turned to his body guard, who said "All interviews are done before the show." I looked at Bow Wow and put my digital recorder to my mouth and said, "VA, Bow Wow has nothing to say to you." He started to move like he wanted to respond to me, but that's when the body guard shut the van door (nope, he didn't have a limo either). Bow Wow might be "making more than my dad," but he "ain't freshazimiz!"  Just because Ciara broke up with him don't mean he gotta take it out on me.  I'm just trying to do my job, which is giving my readers what they want. He should do his by giving his fans what they want--and in my case, it was an interview. I just found him --and his body guards--to be rude. T.I. is a much better rapper than Bow Wow, in my opinion, and he still took the time out to say a little something to his fans. Bow Wow's ego was too big for that seemed like. OK, going to the concert, I had no idea I would be going back stage, so I was totally unprepared for all of this. Luckily, something told me to bring my digital recorder. But I didn't have a camera besides my phone, which is literally falling apart. I managed to develop a conversation with a few of the event security guards who were real cool, and I made a deal with them. They couldn't take pictures because they were technically "working," and I couldn't take pictures because I didn't bring a "camera." So we made an exchange. They gave me their two disposable cameras and let me have access to almost wherever I wanted, and I took pictures for them. It was a good deal. All I have to do is get the pics developed and mail them copies, they even said they'd pay the expenses, but I told them I could handle the costs. So when LL came out, he was surrounded by two big body guards that looked meaner than Darth Vader. One of the security guards called me over and said to stand in front of him. In that spot I had an open view of LL waiting to go on stage. The guard said to make sure I got a good picture of LL for him. I lifted the camera up and right before I snapped, Darth Vader told me "no pictures."  But when he wasn't looking, I took one anyway. The security guard just laughed at me, and hoped he wouldn't get in trouble. After I was taken backstage, I missed most of the performances, but I wanted to see LL on stage. There was no way I got this close to him, but was not going to see his signature lip licking. The security guards that I made the deal with were nice, but their boss was MEAN. I took a deep breath, put on a shield of bravery and walked up to the boss. I gave him the biggest puppy dog eyes I had and pointed towards the stage where LL was. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeee!" I said. He just smiled and shook his head, then said. "Go ahead." Haha, it worked. And I went and stood next to M.C. Hammer and his crew. I was right there where LL was. I was so close I could almost smell him. He threw a rose at me. I grabbed it and smiled. He also threw money out at the crowd. Best believe I picked up about 10 dollar bills. (I gave Ryan one for being so cool about me having to leave her). After his show, he was rushed off stage towards his dressing room. The dressing room area was the one area I did not have access to. I went up to Hammer, who was real cool and said, "Hammer, I'm just trying to get this last interview with LL so my boss can tell me I did a good job. Can you help a sistah out and let me walk with you back into the dressing room area." Without hesitation, he said "C'mon." And I walked right back with him. He went into his dressing room and I waved at him as I kept going toward LL's. Long story short, I waited about 25 minutes outside of LL's dressing room along with a bunch of other reporters who managed to sneak back there the same way I did. DJ Kool asked Darth Vader if he could talk to LL for a minute, and they even made him wait. That's when I knew it would be awhile before he would come out for interviews. I had a rose, I had $10 and I had a good friend waiting for me outside the Verizon Center. I love LL, but I wasn't going to leave my friend waiting outside on the streets of DC by herself. So, I left without an interview from LL. But it was all good. Ryan drove from DC to Stafford, and I drove all the way back to Ashland. I got home after 2 a.m. It's about 4:30 p.m. now and I'm still pinching myself to be sure that last night was real. ***Be sure to check out my concert reveiew/red carpet report in Thursday's WeekEnder and I will try to post some pictures on this blog from the event*** ( 6 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Solitaire - June 19, 2006 6:56 pm - Show/hide this post It's been three weeks and two days since Laura, my new roommate has moved in. And so far, we've managed to avoid any disagreements, catfights or attempts to be the first to use the shower. Actually, our schedules have seemed to compliment each other well. She has to be at work at 9 a.m., I usually get to my job somewhere around 10:30. So, she's usually up and out the door before I even get out of bed. We both get home after dark, watch the 11 o'clock news and play a card game of Phase 10 almost every night. I hate to admit it but I've only beaten her twice. We both work at Cracker Barrel, so when we work together, which is only on Sundays, we sometimes give each other a nasty look because I rolled silverware instead of running food out of the window, or because two of my tables got sat at the same time, while she was taking a cigarette break. But by the time we get off at 11:30 p.m., go to Wal-Mart or Waffle House, and get home, we forget about it and instead take that earlier frustration out in a game of Phase 10. Her parents (mom and stepdad) are cool, too. They live a few miles up the street. They come by Cracker Barrel about once a week and request my table to see how their "other daughter is doing." They invited me and Laura to dinner last week for meatloaf. What a treat. Cause Laura and I haven't actually cooked anything since she's moved in--unless microwave dinners count. Cracker Barrel has really good food, but after working there for a long time, you get tired of it. That's why we sometimes go to Waffle House after work if we're still hungry--and gossip about our co-workers or any weird customers we may have had that night. Yesterday, Laura packed her bags and headed to Richmond. She didn't move out--haha, I didn't scare her away yet--but one of her co-workers at her other job asked her to housesit while they went on vacation for a week. She's getting some good pay for it too. It's only been three weeks and two days since she's moved in. But I miss my Phase 10 partner already. Guess I'll be playing solitaire until she gets back.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I want my two dollars! - June 12, 2006 7:15 pm - Show/hide this post Alas! A mysterious inside joke between me and my sister has become a mystery no more. When I was a youngster--not that long ago, I might add--the only time I can remember spending  with my big sister was in front of the TV. Keep in mind, she was the pubescent teenager and I was the bratty little sister. So, at that age she was more concerned with boys and the telephone than hanging out with little ole' me. I can remember us laying across our mother's bed and watching cartoons. We were faithful viewers of the cartoon version of "Ghostbusters" (Who ya gonna call?), The Smurfs and Gem. We also watched a bunch of movies from the '80's. There was one in particular that I remembered watching with her because we laughed and laughed and laughed at it. Ever since that day, probably 15 years ago now, we would copy one of the lines from that movie anytime we wanted something. "Two dollars! I want my two dollars!" We would seriously wear that saying out, and laugh out loud as if it was the first time we heard it. I don't know why it was so funny, and I didn't even know what movie it came from until yesterday. Let me tell that story. Evidently, one of the managers at The Crack lost one of my checks from a few weeks ago. Yeah, the check is only for $21, but it's mine and I want it. So, while complaining to the manager for the umpteenth time, I said, "$21, I want my 21 dollars." And he burst out laughing. I gave him the evil eye at first because I thought he was mocking me, but turns out he knew that quote from that mysterious 1980's movie, too. I asked him what movie it was from, but he couldn't remember either. Luckily, Becky, another server, was all up in our conversation, and named the movie. "It's from "Better Off Dead," she said. A 1985 John Cusack film. The line supposedly came from a persistent paperboy who kept chasing the main character for his $2 subscription fee. I didn't recognize the title, but couldn't wait to tell my sister. Now that I know the name of the movie that has been a tie that has bonded me and my sister, I'd like to watch it with her again. Anybody know where I can get a copy?   ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Keep reading - June 9, 2006 6:58 pm - Show/hide this post Hey guys, I know I have been MIA a bit this week, but starting this new and AWESOME job has kept me busy. As of Monday, I officially started as the online content producer for fredericksburg.com. But I really started last Thursday. Since then I've been training and getting the feel of the position. So far, I've been updating the home page, taking notes and pictures at three separate accident scenes, going to two budget meetings a day, learning a lot of new software, searching for cool Web sites,  chit chatting with Alex in our office (haha, no more cubicle), and I covered a federal court case in Richmond this morning. In the process, I only ruined one pair of shoes--I'm going to miss those pink pumps. So, I haven't had a lot of time to blog, yet. But once things cool down, people learn how to drive and I get the hang of this Internet gig, I'll be blogging regularly before you know it. As of Monday, it offically became a part of my job description. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I'm becoming an addict - June 8, 2006 6:58 pm - Show/hide this post I didn't want to fall into the same trap as <i>those people. You know, the ones that wake up grumpy, drive up rage road and snap at anyone in sight until they get their fix. That's right, I'm talking about coffee addicts. I've taken a many of trips downtown to Hyperion and have easily rejected the thought of ordering a hot, steamy cup of joe. I'm a tea drinker anyway, so it wasn't that hard. Pour me up a mug of hot orange spice tea and I'm good to go. But now I can't get enough of that black, that sweet, that hot, that caffeinated stuff. I'm going to blame it on my new roommate. She bought in a coffeemaker and brewed a pot of sweet-smelling French Vanilla coffee the other day. It smelled so good, I think it hypnotized me or something. The first night she made some, I declined. Second night, too. When I went to work at The Crack on Tuesday, I figured one cup will keep me awake at least until my shift was over. That's when I think it got me. Ever since my roommate moved in a few days ago, we've made it a habit to play a game of Phase 10 (an addictive card game similar to Uno, but harder). I'm very competitive and hate to lose, but right now, I'm losing big time with 1 win and 3 losses. (We didn't play the night after I won-partly because I was tired, but mainly because I wanted to remain being the winner). Last night around 10 p.m., we were in a close battle, but she had the advantage. And that's when it got me again. I couldn't believe the words came from my mouth. "I feel like having some coffee, you?" My roommate couldn't believe it either--especially at 10 p.m. But the coffee addict in her was already on her way to the kitchen and pouring the French Vanilla into the coffee maker thingy. The French Vanilla wasn't as good as it smelled, in my opinion. I'd rather just have the regular black stuff with a shot of milk and about 5 or 6 packs of Equal. But I drank it anyway. And as a result, I stayed up until about 2 a.m. Now the cycle has begun. At work today, I started to get real cold and sleepy. And it got me, yet again. Today, I bought my first cup of coffee--a tall drip coffee--from Hyperion. I drank the $1.65 cup of goodness all in less than 5 minutes. And I bet if there was some flavor other than French Vanilla in my house right now, I'd probably have another cup tonight. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Playing field of frogs isn't for faint of heart - June 5, 2006 12:27 pm - Show/hide this post SUMMER IS NEARING and it's about time for me to jump into the pool--the dating pool. Dating is a funny thing. You go out with a guy, size him up, then eventually decide whether he is "the one." If you think about it, dating is like testing a product. If you're lucky, you'll find "the one" for you, not "the one" who weirds you out or "the one" you never want to see again--or, in my case recently, "the one" who'd rather date your friend. In the past few weeks, I've been out on dates with Troy, Evan, Jamal, Desmond and Paul. Names have been changed to protect the brokenhearted. Troy was cool. He liked to go out and have fun. But he is a smoker. Any other time, that would have been an immediate cause for dismissal, but I fell in love with his dog. Evan, a successful agent for a huge insurance company, has everything going for him. He's smart, well-traveled and not bad-looking (yes, looks do matter). But all Evan talks about is work, work, work. If I have to sit through one more date with him talking about how diversified his portfolio is, I'll gouge out my eyes. Jamal and I hang out all the time, but I don't really classify those outings as real dates. He's my best friend's 21-year-old little brother, which makes him like my pretend brother. He has a little crush on me, but he'll get over it. Desmond and I went to the same high school. We ran into each other earlier this year and exchanged numbers. He's a nice guy and all, but I keep flashing back to high school and some of the dumb things he used to do as a teen. I shouldn't hold his past against him, but I do. Then there's Paul. Paul graduated from an Ivy League school up north, has a good job at a prestigious university in Virginia and could possibly pass for a model. In other words, brotha got it going on. But of course there is a flaw; he knows he got it going on. He can be really cocky--arrogant, even. He has plenty of potential, and as cute as he is, I'm not sure I can deal with his "I'm-God's-gift-to-women" attitude. Too bad Chuck Woolery is out of business, because I didn't make a love connection with any of these bachelors. Whether your date-ventures are a success or a total disaster, you have to make sure you make the most of it. But most importantly, especially for the ladies, you have to play it safe. My girls and I have a set of dating rules that we follow. Before a first date happens, do a criminal background check. Whether it's a traffic ticket or a drug charge, it's all public information, and you should know before getting involved with that person. If something shows up, hint at it to see if he is honest about it. That at least gives him a bit of credibility. If your date lies about it, there shall be no second date. When going on a date, meet him at an agreed-upon destination. That way you drive separately and can leave on your own power without worrying about him driving you away somewhere. Never invite a new dating candidate to your home. Let's say he turns out to be crazy, then he'd always know where to find/stalk you. If he already knows where you live, tell him you have a roommate, even if you don't. The first date is always a double date. That way your friend knows exactly what he looks like, what he drives and, if you go there, where he lives. If you vanish, your friend has a good idea of whom to tell the police to look for and where to go. Don't give your friend too much information. If said friend hangs around you and your date too much, there's always the possibility that friend could develop a closer bond with him than you do. It happens. Trust me, I know from experience. If you decide to go out on a date with just the two of you, make sure he knows that people know where you are. Call a friend or have a friend call you, and tell them exactly where you are and give them his first and last names. Make sure he hears you pass on the information. Hang up, smile at your date and say, "Just in case you're a serial killer." Don't worry about insulting him, you have to look out for you. Let's say it's the first or second date, things are going well and you're hoping to see him again. Offer to pay for the meal or outing and don't take no for an answer. Unless he really doesn't like you, he'll be impressed and will ask for another date. Now the date is over and you're drooling. Ladies, no matter what, do not pick up the phone! If he's a gentleman, he'll call to see if you got home OK. And if he's really interested, he'll call just to say hello. It may take a day or two or three, but if he likes you, he'll call or text message you. If your date didn't give you butterflies, try introducing him to the "friend" who stole your other date. Evidently she thinks you have good taste. If you're just getting back into the dating pool, there's no need to dive in headfirst. Take your time. Get your feet wet. And have fun! To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com Date published: 6/5/2006 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

small world - June 2, 2006 4:58 pm - Show/hide this post For Memorial Day weekend, I went to a cook-out/pool party in Spotsylvania. I didn't know anyone except the hostess and her family. So she introduced me to everyone in attendance. She introduced me to Mr. Royster as a "potential" family member. Huh? Well, she explained to me that they have the same last name and he and her husband's family come from around the same area in southern Virginia, but they haven't been able to pinpoint if or how they could be related. They've been doing research for months. They think that they may share an ancestor who was married twice. It is assumed that Mr. Royster may have descended from the first marriage, and the husband of the host from the second marriage. I thought that was a pretty interesting story, mainly because one side of my family is from southern Virginia and my aunt also married a Royster. So we talked some more. "What part of southern Virginia?", he asked. "Clarksville, Va", I answered. He gave me this look like I knew a deep, dark secret. Turns out, Mr. Royster and I are related by marriage on two different sides of his family. He is related somehow to my aunt's husband, who is a Royster, AND he is the first cousin of my other uncle's wife. Small world, small world. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

P. Smitty exclusive - June 1, 2006 6:54 pm - Show/hide this post Not only do I serve up blueberry pancakes, chicken fried chicken and pinto beans at Cracker Barrel, I write for them, too. Well, I wrote for them just one time. Corporate headquarters called me last month saying that a group of wounded soldiers that had lost limbs would be visiting one of the stores in Mechanicsville, Va. They thought I did a good job on my January colum about working as a server, and thought it'd be kind of cool for one of their own to write a story about it for the company Web site and newsletter. I agreed. So here it is. Check it out! http://www.crackerbarrel.com/about.cfm?doc_id=1164     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Defective bottle - May 31, 2006 2:20 pm - Show/hide this post At lunch today, I indulged in a Lean Cuisine dinner--wild Salmon with whole-wheat orzo pasta, spinach and carrots. Add some hot Chinese mustard, and yummy. I had a bottle of raspberry water to wash the hotness down with. But when I tried to open it, I couldn't. It took all the strength I had to try to crack open the 16.9 oz. container of fruity deliciousness. But all I did was leave a painful impression in the middle of my palm. I passed it around the lunchroom to see if anyone else had more muscle meat than me. Still nothing. This is ridiculous, I thought. I went back downstairs to my desk to carry on with my normal after-lunch work routine, you know, chat a bit, check my e-mail, glaze at the computer screen for awhile, then dig in to my duties. But I became obsessed with this bottle. Plus I was thirsty. Thinking it might make for a good laugh, I figured I'd make an offer to challenge the manhood (or womanhood) in the newsroom. I sent out an e-pop to everyone in the office: "$1 to anyone who can open my water bottle!" The attempts didn't come pouring in, but it was pretty entertaining. Let's just say it took an X-Acto knife, a cake knife, four minutes and about six spectators to Get-R-Done. Mmm, fruity deliciousness. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Memorial Day - May 29, 2006 12:56 pm - Show/hide this post Just because today is a national holiday doesn't mean everyone gets the day off. I'm on the clock today, anyone else? ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Roommate - May 26, 2006 4:26 pm - Show/hide this post It's been two years since I have had to share a living space with someone, and now that's about to change. I'm getting a roommate. Yeah, I'll save some moolah by splitting the housing bills with her and my dad will feel relieved that I'm not going home late to an empty house, but I had other motives for getting a roommate--to keep my cleaning habits in check. If it was up to me, I would never do dishes, laundry, sweep, vacuum or cook. Don't get me wrong, I like cooking and I'm good at it. But after you're done, there's lots of dishes to wash. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I really do hate washing dishes. I'm not saying that I'm a slob cause I'm not. But having a roommate, or knowing that someone else will be around consistently, gives me a tad bit more motivtion to "clean up" my act. I hadn't been looking for a roommate, the conversation came up one day at The Crack. We are both servers there, plus we went to the same high school. So I've known her a pretty long time. She was looking for a place, and I had plenty of space. So it sounded like a plan. She came over to inspect the place about three weeks ago. I showed her the downstairs bedroom where she would sleep, the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom. My room is upstairs, and was a bit messy, but cleaner than usual since I knew she was coming. There are two other bedrooms upstairs, but I use them as storage. I didn't show her those rooms, but she'll probably peek in there one day when I'm not there. lol. I introduced her to my good friend DirecTV--which was a draw since she doesn't currently have cable or satellite--and then we sat and watched one of the last four American Idol contestants get booted off. Then we sat and talked for about 2 hours. She thought about it for a few days, and decided she will move in. June 1 is her move-in day. I think it could work. I mean, I shared a small room with the same person in college for three years, and although we had our times, we worked it out. We still call each other "Roomie," too. So I'm sure sharing a house with someone will be a piece of cake. I just hope after that cake, one of us will wash the plate. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I'm back - May 23, 2006 4:55 pm - Show/hide this post Hey guys, I'm back from vacation, and those four days went by so fast. I didn't do too much, just slept in, slept in, and slept in. I did manage to squeeze in a pedicure though...and it was needed. I don't have anyone to show my toes off too, but I wanted to do something nice for myself, so I thought a pedicure would count. It felt so good to sit in the vibrating spa chair and have someone pamper my feet. It would have been a lot better if it was some cute, muscle-bound hottie, specifically LL Cool J, but the nice Korean lady did just fine. When I first sat down in the spa chair, I browsed through the rack of magazines for a good read. I picked up the most interesting cover I saw--Nick Lachey's first interview after his break-up with Jessica Simpson. (Boo hoo, poor Nick!) The nice lady complimented my toeless brown heels before asking me to take them off and stick my feet in the "foot Jacuzzi" to soak. I let the more than lukewarm water soothe my feet as little bubbles splashed in between my toes. She lifted one foot up at a time and scrubbed them with a pumice stone. I was slightly embarrassed at the fact that she had to scrub one foot longer than the other. But looking at the corns on the feet of the woman sitting in the spa chair beside me, she must have felt lucky. No corns here, buddy. She then lotioned my feet and legs before massaging them. Very relaxing. (I put down the magazine and closed my eyes to enjoy the moment). Then she clipped my nails, but only a little. Since my toenails have a round shape, instead of the usual square shape, she didn't want to clip or file them too much. To make them look longer she drew a fake french manicure line across the tip of each nail with a thick white paste, then topped it off with a transparent pink polish. Perfecto! But I had to sit under a foot fan for like 20 minutes to dry. Twenty minutes came and went. Thinking I was cute, I put my brown heels back on and pranced around the shopping strip for a bit. But not by choice. I was trying to let time pass because SOMEONE hadn't come back with my car yet. Let me explain. OK, I ran into an old flame on Friday. And when I say old flame, I mean we go way back. He was my first crush EVER. I met him when I was 12 and liked him in the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th grade. He was my middle and high school infatuation. Not just me, he was one of those guys that all the girls liked--the popular football player. We were around each other a lot because I was good friends with his cousin, but he never gave a hint that he liked me. So after five years, I finally stopped liking him. Now, fast forward to last Friday. I was leaving the hair shop and ran into my old friend/his cousin. She and I chatted for a little bit then she said, "You know who always asks about you, wanna go see him? He just moved back to Ashland." The current me was indifferent, but the teenager in me screamed out "Yes." It couldn't hurt I guess. Seeing the guy I dreamed about almost every night of my teenage years nearly 10 years later--this could be interesting. We pulled up to his place and all of a sudden Jerry Springer popped in my head. It could go one of two ways: either he could have let himself go and had me saying "What was I thinking back then" or he could be super hot and had me saying "Why didn't I snag him back then." I stood quietly in the kitchen while she walked into his bedroom (I think he was sleeping). "Hey, guess who's here," his cousin said. "Come look!." He came out in a half slumber and gave me a what's up, then went back in his room and closed the door, pulling his cousin inside. Is that good or bad?, I thought. Turns out it was good. She told me he got on her case because he couldn't believe that she bought me over there and let me see him not "dressed to par." I said, "So, nowwwww, he wants to show some interest. She said he had liked me back in the day, too, but still had 'playa playa' in his system. Anyway, long story short...he's interested. Not knowing how to ask me out, he offered to wash my dirty car instead. So I took him up on it. Liking him during all of my high school years is at least worthy of a decent wash and wax. So Saturday, I gave him my keys and he dropped me off at the nail shop. I was done about 25 minutes before he showed up with my car...but I didn't get mad. In addition to doing a really good job on my car and tires... he vacuumed the inside too. Awww. I guess I have a reason to show off my toes now.   ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

vacation - May 17, 2006 3:28 pm - Show/hide this post Hey guys, I'm on vacation this week, so I won't be blogging regularly until I get back on Tuesday. I'm not going anywhere special, just relaxing in the comfort of my home. And it's about time. This May marks my 4-year anniversary with the FLS and this is the first "vacation" I have taken since I've been here. Maybe next time, I'll take a real vacation and go somewhere nice. The Bahamas sounds nice!! Havent been there since 2004, and I LOVED it. Anyway, I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I'll go out and face life--which hopefully means I'll have some interesting things to come back and blog about. Also, check out the Cracker Barrel Web site in a few days for a P. Smitty exclusive. Corporate headquarters asked me to cover a special Cracker Barrel visit on Monday in Mechanicsville by wounded soldiers and amputees who are riding cross country to raise awareness and support for troops that have been severely wounded in military combat. My story and a few pics should be up by the end of the week. Take care while I'm away. I promise I'll be back! (Less than 2 weeks 'til I'm at fred.com!!!) ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

- May 15, 2006 12:32 am - Show/hide this post Sunday was the first Mother's Day I've spent without my mother. While most mother/child pairs were out for breakfast, lunch or dinner, I stayed home. I didn't spend the day being sad as I thought I would. Instead I remembered her and some of the things she would say or do that made me smile. A family friend had given me, my sister and my grandma a memory pillow--it has her picture on it. A note came with the pillow that says "something to squeeze when your loved one isn't near." I followed the instructions yesterday. While it was the first mother's day without my mom for me. It was the first mother's day as a mother for two of my close friends. I gave them a call to honor them on their day. I could hear both of their smiles over the phone as they didn't know what to respond. It was an expression they'd normally tell someone else, not hear. It is an expression that still feels good to say. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

sleeping in the rain - May 13, 2006 6:07 pm - Show/hide this post My friends would call me pathetic, but last night--a Friday night--I went to bed at 9 p.m. Yes, that is rather early for me to be hitting the sack. I'm the night owl of the family. I was born at 8:10 in the a.m., but I'm no where near being a morning person. I did have to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to make it on time for an 8 a.m. assignment in Spotsy, but that's not what led to my 9 p.m. siesta. It was the rain. My house, built in the late 1800's, has a green tin roof. So when it rains, the sounds of each drop splashing against that tin roof is better than any ocean waves or hypnotists saying "You are getting sleepy." plop, plop, plat, plat, plop, plat, plop. It sounds soooooo good. Normally I don't like the rain because I don't like walking in it or getting my hair wet, but if it's close to bedtime....the rain is always welcome. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Riddle - May 12, 2006 11:08 pm - Show/hide this post What one thing can you put in a barrel that can be seen by the naked eye, and if you put it in the barrel it will make the barel lighter? I'll snail mail $1 to the first person who gets it right! And I'll post the answer by Monday. ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

EcoLab update - May 12, 2006 12:04 pm - Show/hide this post Ok, so I left out a little bit of detail on EcoLab. L.Mo (Laura Moyer) said that little detail makes a big difference, and yeah it does. He has a roommate...of the female persuasion. I don't know if it's a girlfriend or old friend or an ex, but I know she's not a family member or a baby momma ( he doesn't have any kids). He tried to tell me about his "situation," but I didn't listen.  All I heard is he's stuck in a one-year lease and waiting to move out. I told him that I'm not his girlfriend and we're not dating so he didn't have to explain anything to me. Yeah, my nosy self really did want to know who she is and why she was there, but I figured not knowing would slow down the process of me starting to like him--and it has. So if it is a girlfriend or an ex, I have nothing to feel guilty about. All of our conversations have been totally platonic, not at all romantic. So that's why I don't call and that's why we're just friends, and thats why I'm keeping my options open, and that's why it's ONLY a crush. Ok, that's everything.   ( 3 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Crush - May 12, 2006 1:43 am - Show/hide this post Ironically, the day was Feb. 14, 2006. Tall, dark and handsome walked in to Cracker Barrel wearing his work uniform. He was waiting for one of the managers to sign some paperwork. My cousin and I peeped him out, agreed he was cute and then giggled like school girls everytime he looked away. I had finished my duties in the back, so all I had left to do was sweep under my tables and make sure there was 15 brown, 10 pink, 10 yellow and 10 blue packets of sugar on each one. The Crack hires a company to do monthly inspections to make sure the facility is clean and pest free. Tall, dark and handsome, let's call him EcoLab, is our inspector. He was sitting in my section still waiting for a manager. I figured I'd better sweep up good so we pass that part of the test. "You must be new," he said. "Oh, no. Did I miss a spot?" I said with a pout thinking I caused the store to fail. "Haha, no, I just havent seen you in here before," he said. Boy was I embarrassed. Then I told him I had been working there since November, but only work Sundays and Tuesdays. A manager finally came out to sign some papers and he went on his way. At least I had a little bit of eyecandy on Valentine's Day! The following Monday, a manager asked me if I could come in to cover a night shift. I didn't have anything else to do, so I figured I'd make some money. I took a break for dinner and was stuffing my face with the Monday special--fried pork chops--with turnip greens and mac & cheese on the side. yum. All of a sudden, EcoLab walks into the breakroom. "I was hoping I'd find you back here." I tried to hold back my surprised look and swallow the green and yellow mush that was in my mouth. He said he was in the area and stopped by. It took him about 10 minutes to say why he really came by---to ask for my number. It was by chance that he caught me there since I don't usually work on Mondays, but he had thought I said I work Sunday thru Tuesday. He just turned 26 and moved to Richmond from NY earlier this year. He plays basketball and likes to watch Law & Order: SVU. Seems like a really nice guy. But don't they all. He was really cute, but I said I wasn't going to let myself fall for his Colgate smile or charm to later be dissappointed. Been there, done that before, not doing that again. This may seem big-headed of me, but if he is really interested, he'd have to prove it, I told myself. So far, he's been pretty convincing. We haven't been on a date since our work schedules are so different. I work days and he works nights. Actually, everytime we see each other, it's at The Crack. Well, I did see him once when I wasn't working. He was inspecting a Ruby Tuesday in my area, so I stopped by since he had to wait for customers to leave. But that doesn't count. He calls me pretty often ( I never call him). He stops by The Crack at least once a week when I'm working and even helps me roll silverware at night. (Once the store closes all the employees get locked in the building and have to roll silverware until the manager counts all the money and puts it in the safe. Since he "technically" works with Cracker Barrel, the managers gave him "security clearance" and let him stay in the building). He also started watching Top Model since I said it was my favorite show. I don't know if he likes it, but he said he wanted to see what the buzz was about. Now he's hooked. lol. He asks me how my day was. I tell him. I ask him about his, and he always says good now that he is talking to me. :) How sweet! Sometimes I don't leave the crack til after midnight, so when he's there he walks me to my car. When he's not he calls to see if I made it in safely. How nice! He knows I'm not looking for a boyfriend, but acts like he is when my male co-workers are around. How cute! I don't want to speak too soon...but could I have a crush? I'm not going to limit my options, but let's see how this one turns out. I'll keep ya posted. ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

I'm leaving the paper - May 10, 2006 5:24 pm - Show/hide this post Hey guys, Sorry for not posting a blog yesterday, but it was my day "off." since I have to work the weekend. I'm going to dedicate this blog to Sabrina in Maryland and Shannon in Fredericksburg/Richmond. Two of my blog fans who read me faithfully, and say they are disappointed when I don't post. Awww, thanks guys! Jim B., I know you're reading too! :) So for my dedicated blog readers, I'm leaving the newspaper and going to write for fredericksburg.com full-time. No, I'm not joking. I'm going to be the new online content producer (sounds fancy doesn't it?) at fred.com starting June 5. There I will be updating the Web site, moderating FredTalk, and various other duties with the Web site, which include my blog. I will continue to write my monthly columns for the Life section and my monthly night club reviews (Another Round, which is coming out tmw) for Weekender. I just won't be in the Newsroom anymore--but still feel free to send me your story ideas. This isn't a huge move, as I will be working for the same company. It's just a move to a different department. And I'm really excited about it. I'll be gaining some new skills dealing with the Internet.(that's always good to know since it's the wave of the future); I'll get to work from home sometimes and I'll have more time to dedicate to my blog and the Web site. So, stay tuned. And feel free to comment on the blog or send e-mails. Us bloggers like to get watered with feedback...positive and negative. It's the only way we grow. (And it convinces our bosses to let us keep doing what we're doing). :) ( 4 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Stella Awards for 2005 - May 8, 2006 2:16 pm - Show/hide this post Someone accidently forwarded me this e-mail, but even though the person didn't mean to send it to me, I still found it hilarious. Read on! The Stella Awards are named after Stella Liebeck, who in 1992 spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. The 2005 True Stella Awards Winners by Randy Cassingham Issued 31 January 2006 #7: Bob Dougherty. A prankster smeared glue on the toilet seat at the Home Depot store in Louisville, Colo., causing Dougherty to stick to it when he sat down. "This is not Home Depot's fault," he proclaimed, yet the store graciously offered him $2,000 anyway. Dougherty complained the offer is "insulting" and filed suit demanding $3 million. #6: Barbara Connors of Medfield, Mass. Connors was riding in a car driven by her 70-year-old(!) son-in-law when they crashed into the Connecticut River, and Connors sank with the car. Rescue divers arrived within minutes and got her out alive, but Connors suffered brain damage from her near-drowning. Sue the driver? Sure, we guess that's reasonable. But she also sued the brave rescue workers who risked their lives to save hers. #5: Michelle Knepper of Vancouver, Wash. Knepper picked a doctor out of the phone book to do her liposuction, and went ahead with the procedure even though the doctor was only a dermatologist, not a plastic surgeon. After having complications, she complained she never would have chosen that doctor had she known he wasn't Board Certified in the procedure. (She relied on the phonebook listing over asking the doctor, or looking for a certificate on his wall?!) So she sued ...the phone company! She won $1.2 million plus $375,000 for her husband for "loss of spousal services and companionship." #4: Rhonda Nichols. She says a wild bird "attacked" her outside a home improvement store in Fairview Heights, Ill., causing head injuries. That's right: outside the store. Yet Nichols still held the Lowe's store responsible for "allowing" wild birds to fly around free in the air. She never reported the incident to the store, but still sued for "at least" $100,000 in damages. In January 2006, the case was thrown out of court. #3: Barnard Lorence of Stuart, Fla. Lorence managed to overdraw his own bank account. When the bank charged him a service fee for the overdraft, he filed suit over his "stress and pain" and loss of sleep over the fee. A few hundred thousand bucks, he says, will only amount to a "slap on the wrist", whereas the $2 million he's suing for is more like being "paddled". Kinky! #2: Wanita "Renea" Young of Durango, Colo. Two neighborhood teens baked cookies for their neighbors as an anonymous gesture of good will, but Young got scared when she heard them on her front porch. They apologized, in writing, but Young sued them anyway for causing her distress, demanding $3,000. When she won(!!) $900, she crowed about it in the newspaper and on national TV. Now, she's shocked (shocked!) that everyone in town hates her for her spite, and is afraid she may have to move. But hey: she won. And the winner of the 2005 True Stella Award: Christopher Roller of Burnsville, Minn. Roller is mystified by professional magicians, so he sued David Blaine and David Copperfield to demand they reveal their secrets to him -- or else pay him 10 percent of their lifelong earnings, which he figures amounts to $50 million for Copperfield and $2 million for Blaine. The basis for his suit: Roller claims that the magicians defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using "godly powers" -- and since Roller is god (according to him), they're "somehow" stealing that power from him. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

The not so fat check - May 4, 2006 7:38 pm - Show/hide this post I shouldn't have bragged about the big tips I was making at The Crack the other week. Yes, working as a server does make my pockets fat at the end of the night, but still, there's nothing like getting a check with your name on it. Taking it to the bank, and making a deposit. "Sign the back please," a nice teller will say. Not last week. After I picked up last week's check, I ripped it up and threw it in the trash. Let me start over, and make a short story long! :) Since I only work twice a week, I usually pick up my four little checks at the end of the month. This time one of the managers, Art, handed me my check and the check pick-up sheet. "Sign this please," Art said with a devilish grin. I looked at the check to make it was written out to me, and then put my John Hancock on the pick-up sheet to verify that I had received the check. I didn't look at the amount on the check yet. "Keep that signature, it will be valuable on day," I told Art. "Just as valuable as that check in your hand," he replied. Huh, I thought as I scrunched up my eyebrows. I looked down at the check. It was for $0.00, and had void written across it. Turns out Uncle Sam taxed my tips and took my whole check. That's when I ripped it up and threw it in the trash. That's what I get for honestly reporting the tips I earned. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

bathroom feet - May 2, 2006 3:55 pm - Show/hide this post You walk in the company bathroom, go in one of the stalls and turn that little lock thingy. That’s when it hits you. Sniff, sniff. Somebody is doing #2. Oh no! What do you do? Do you quietly leave to let them have privacy and hope that the stench didn’t linger in your clothes? Or do you hold your breath, quickly handle your business and then run out of there as fast as you can? No matter what you decide, there’s one thing that we all do unconsciously—we look at their shoes! I don’t know why we do it, but we do. We automatically look down and memorize their shoe, sandal, heel or toenail polish color, so in the case that we spot it later we know exactly who the culprit was that dropped the “kids� off at the “pool.� Now, let’s say you are the culprit. Why is it that when someone opens the door, we get really, really quiet as if they aren’t going to know someone is already in there. Isn’t the funk a dead giveaway? Unless you do the "courtesy flush" so that most of the funkiness is gone. And doesn’t it seem like that person always takes their time to leave as if we aren’t uncomfortable enough holding it in. You know what their doing, right? They’re checking out our shoes. Now, let’s say we successfully managed to do our deed without any interruption. You walk to the sink to wash your hands (YOU BETTER WASH YOUR HANDS!) and check yourself out in the mirror. You turn to go open the door and that’s when someone else walks in. You smile and say hello. But on the inside your thinking, “I hope they don’t go in stall #2.� So we take our time just so we can see which one they go in. And whaduyaknow? Stall #2. At that point, it doesn’t matter what kind of shoes you have on. They saw your face. And for the rest of the day, you’ll be known as Boo Boo Bear or the person that stank up the company restroom. And the worst, is when you go into the bathroom after someone else booboo-ed and then the next person that comes in thinksthat it was you! I’m surprised there isn’t any bathroom etiquette for that type of situation. For example, the bathroom stall walls should go all the way to the floor so no one can memorize your shoes. Or there could be a ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’ rule. Stall #1 should be for #1, stall #2 could be for #2 and stall #3 would be for miscellaneous. Or one could post a sign with the words of my late grandfather, “Don’t nobody go in there for about 25, 35 minutes.� ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Setting the record straight - May 1, 2006 11:42 am - Show/hide this post Writer doesn't claim to speak for entire race Portsia Smith's column: Setting the record straight Date published: 5/1/2006 PORTSIA'S BLOG: Read her latest musings MY NAME IS PORTSIA SMITH, and as you can tell from my mug shot, I'm African- American. I'm also a right-handed female journalist and convicted smartass who stands about 5-foot-3 and has an obsession with the TV show "America's Next Top Model." By no means do I claim to be a spokeswoman for any of the demographics listed above. But according to a reader from Stafford County, I must be. I got a call a few weeks ago from a woman who wanted to comment on my monthly columns. She paused at first--then told me that, as a black woman, she felt my columns were "degrading and demeaning to black people, and not at all progressive to the race." I was surprised and almost hurt. My columns are my creations, my masterpieces, my inner soul. I look at them as if they are my own babies--and I'd defend them to the death. So when she made that comment, it was like she was calling my kids ugly. And God don't like ugly. She went on to say my columns portray black people as chitlin-eating, pig's-feet-sucking, friedchicken-loving people. I asked her what was wrong with eating chitlins and fried chicken. She answered by saying, "I just don't think black people around here eat that kind of stuff--I don't eat pork at all." I just smiled and reminded her that I was writing about the foods that my family eats, not all black families. And had she read closely, she would have seen that I don't eat pig's feet, either. In fact, a majority of the responses I received after that column came from white readers who reminisced about being raised on the hog. The woman went on to say that the column about my incarcerated ex-boyfriend was demeaning to him and wasn't very righteous on my part. Before I wrote that column, I asked him if it was OK and he said it was. And it didn't matter to me whether I looked righteous or not. It was my story. And if you've ever been inside a prison visiting room full of people waiting to see their jailed loved ones, it's their story, too. That column wasn't just about the love I once had for a convicted felon. It was also about the love my father has for me--his wanting more for me than a life with a man he saw as no good. As a columnist, I write about my experiences and events that happen in my life, things I hope that other people can relate to. If something happened to me, it's likely to have happened to someone else. As much as I would love to have a perfect life, I don't try to sugarcoat the way things really are. I told the caller I was sorry she felt offended, but was glad that she read my columns and was motivated to respond. "Well, I'm never going to read your columns again," she said. And that was the end of the telephone conversation. I'm not sure exactly what she wanted me to do or say. I'm not a politician or a public relations person. I'm not Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton, either. I'm my own woman, and I'm just calling things as I see them. People are free to relate or disagree just as I am free to have my opinions. It's a shame Penny from Stafford won't be reading this column--I'd really like to hear her two cents. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@freelancestar.com PORTSIA SMITH is a business writer at The Free Lance-Star. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Can you raed tihs? - Apr. 26, 2006 4:58 pm - Show/hide this post  The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to  rsceearch at a uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. And I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

My space dot com - Apr. 21, 2006 5:20 pm - Show/hide this post Technology has reconnected me with my past. If you haven't already joined myspace.com, then you're missing out on a good 'network." Yes, it may hav gotten some bad press lately with critics saying it is like a dark alley where predators can wait and hide to prey on young teens. But if you are responsible enough to not meet imperfect strangers on the 'net then you should be okay. Anyway, the way it works is you have your own page that you can design or not. You can look at other people's pages, search for classmates, send messages, etc. I joined just to see what all the craze was about. The first message came from my college roommate saying it was about time I joined. As the days went by, I started getting more and more friend requests. (before someone can add you as a freind, you have to approve them first.) A few of them were Shani, Matt, Evan, Jonathan, Deanna, Jarrid, and more people that I havent seen or talked to since I was in the 8th grade. (I moved from Warsaw to Ashland after middle school). I was able to read their profiles and see where my old friends had went to school, who they had married and pictures of them now. It's funny how much you look the same as you did when you were a 13-year-old. maybe just taller or added facial hair for the guys. I "inter" met some of my old friends from high school, too. Some who had moved out of state and others that still live up the street from me and I didnt even know. One friend was a guy I used to date back in the day. Although I have no interest in seeing him again, it was good to know he was doing alright and didn't fall off the face of the Earth. It's also how I keep in contact with my lil cousins Taryn, 19, and Sariah, 13, who live in Florida and think they are grown just  because they reached double digits in age. R&B Superstar Chris Brown even saved me as a friend. He doesnt know me personally, but we are from the same area (Northern Neck), so I'm glad he showed me some love. (And yes it is his real mySpace account...it's on his official Web site. I checked). So, check it out, It is a cool Web site----not as cool as fredericksburg,com though. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Tyra's Time - Apr. 19, 2006 6:50 pm - Show/hide this post Everyone who knows me knows that 8 p.m. on Wednesday's is off limits. Do not call me, do not text me, or stop y to visit. That is Tyra's Time. Yes, I will be busy watching America's Next Top Model, my favorite show. I don't know what it is about this show that is so addictive, but I've been watching the model competition reality show since season 2--it's now in season 6. Maybe it's all the drama, the hatin', the flesh-eating bacterias or just the slim chance of these girls coming close to their dream, which would probably otherwise be impossible. There are 7 girls left: Brooke, the girl who's face "wouldn't be appreciated on the street, but could pass in the fashion world." Danielle, a country-fied sistah from Arkansas with a gap. (I got one too, so Go Girl!) Furonda, who thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread once she got weave flowing down her back. Jade, a Philly girl with a NY attitude. Even though she is the most arrogant, I like her. She has a good look to be a model, even though she is pushing it in age (26) to be a beginner. Joanie, the preacher's daughter/part-time stripper---nuff said. Nnenna, the African Queen who is starting to erk my nerves.  and Sara, who they found in a mall somewhere. Who will get booted tonight? And whowill become closer to becoming America's Next Top Model (Tyra says that every week). Uh oh, it's quarter to 7pm. I gotta drive home so I don't miss it. It's almost Tyra Time. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Top dollar memories - Apr. 17, 2006 6:20 pm - Show/hide this post I was wrist high in bleach this weekend. No, I wasn't trying to pull a Micheal Jackson. I spent the weekend cleaning my childhood home. My sister and I (we're 10 years apart--she's older) are in the process of "inheriting" our mother's home, but before we can do that, the house must pass an appraisal. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but the house was vacant for 10 months while my mom was sick and before that she was in the middle of a major renovation (She was turning the basement into an apartment). So it's more than just an inheritance, we have to invest about $105,000 before we can even move in. Since no one was living in the house all that time, the basement had it's fair share of mold  and mildew. plus dust and the house had a real stuffy smell to it. The renovation-in-process meant that carpets had been stripped off the floor, new outlet receptacles were being put in and the paint job in a few of the rooms were not completed. When the appraiser came to look at the place, he said those things needed to be complete along with relacing some rotted wood on the deck and the double columns on the front of the house. Value of the columns (material and labor): $1,540. Value of the outdoor paint work: $2,200. Value of new carpet: more than $ 450. Sentimental value of the place where I was raised: priceless. This past weekend my sister Chelsea and I wiped all the walls in the basement with some mildew prevention spray and tried to decide how much of my mother's belongings were trash and how much was treasure. Tough job! She had a BUNCH of China and crystal ware--we kept. She had  four closets full of clothes--we kept for now. And it seems like she kept every Christmas, birthday and Mother's Day card she ever received.--we trashed. Then there were other things we found of hers, like her plaques and certifictes of recognition for various things. And for the first time, I saw her 1969 Bachelor of Science Degree. We didn't want to throw things like tha away, but we were clueless as to what we would do with them. I looked in my old room and saw things that my mom should have thrown away but didn't. Like the A+ paper I wrote in middle school, pictures of me as a toddler acting silly and a stash of my baby teeth (see, I knew there was no such thing as the tooth fairy). I found my baby book, too. I was born at 8:10 a.m. on a Thursday. I was 7 pounds and some odd ounces and 19 inches long. My mom's first words was "we have another daughter!" and my dad's first words were "Oh Yea!" ( I can just hear him saying that). "Daddy Earl and sister Chelsea" were the first to see me after my grand entrance. My paternal grandmother was the first to call after I was born. I forgot how old it said I was when I started teething, but where it asked for anything that would affect teeth development, my mom wrote "sticks out tongue." That would probably explain my gap and lisp. My sister sat on the steps and told me that was the spot she used to sit as a little girl and play with her slinky. At the bottom of those same stairs, she said, is where she was standing to take a picture in one of her new outfits and my "brat-ass" jumped in front of the picture. (I can just see myself doing that, too). She said she was mad at me for that for a long time, but it made her laugh now. Had Chelsea and I not taken the time to do ourselves what we could have paid someone else to do, we would have missed out on all these top-dollar memories. For those, $105,000 isn't much. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

straight to the ...? - Apr. 14, 2006 2:37 pm - Show/hide this post Summer is nearing, and people are getting happy. King's Dominion is drawing people looking to have fun and be happy. When people eat they are happy. For me, happy people translates into good tips at The Crack (Cracker Barrel). My part-time job as a server at The Crack started as a way for me to avoid sitting at home and grieving over the loss of my mother. I knew I had to get away from the pictures and thoughts of her by making myself busy--so I got a night job. The added benefit was cash in hand every night I worked. I work only twice a week, and boy do I stay busy. Over the winter months, the added income was helpful in easing the high costs of heating my four-bedrrom home. And since I don't have a roommate, except my cat named Badness, who pays in purrs, I'm the only one bringing in the bacon and cooking it in the pan. Summer time means my heating and electric bill drop drastically and I have more leeway with my budget. Even more so now because the summer time brings happy tips. This week alone I made $308 in tips for just 19 hours of work. This compares to the $136 in tips earned in the same amount of time one week in January. King's Dominion, which is just one exit away from my Crack, is what's bringing the extra business. A lot of people stop by to eat after they leave the theme park. On Tuesday, I had a customer come in with his girlfriend saying he never ate at The Crack before. I laughed and joked with them and suggested something tasty to eat. They also ordered dessert, which I had made myself. I asked him how his first experience was at The Crack as I casually placed his $20 ticket on the table. He said the food and the service was awesome. He reached for his wallet and placed a $20 bill on my tray. I smiled, and told him that customers pay at the front desk--it's the way they do it at The Crack. He looked at me and said, "Well, this is how we do it where I come from" and told me to keep it. I just cheesed and told him that I needed to go wherever it is that he comes from (New York). Then I smiled at his girlfriend too, so she wouldn't think I was hitting on him (I wasn't). He had made my day--and with all these $1bills piling up in my pocketbook, I can't decide if I should go straight to the bank or to the mall. Decisions, decision......hmmm. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Aren't they cute? - Apr. 11, 2006 4:12 pm - Show/hide this post My God-babies Bria (on the left) looks like Brandi and Cayla looks like Corey. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Question, why is it that... - Apr. 10, 2006 7:06 pm - Show/hide this post Apparently, a heavy storm that ran through my area last week knocked my satelitte out of alignment. So for about six days, I have been without service  I've had to try to watch 'Prison Break', 'Girlfriends' and "America's Next Top Model' through my regular staticky analog TV. They said, "We can get a technician out to see you on Saturday, the 15th. Sorry for the inconvenience." Question. If they were really sorry for the inconvenience, how come they just can't subtract the price of two weeks service off of my monthly bill? Am I right? That reminds me of the time that I once got charged  more for a milkshake because I asked for a medium and was 'accidently' given a large at a restaurant. I didn't notice when I was slurping it down, but it's not my fault. When I saw the price for the large--I told her that's not what I ordered. Anyway, she eneded up only charging me for what I aasked for, but had I not paid attention, I would have paid out-of-pocket. Moral of this story being, why is it that everytime somebody makes a mistake, they expect you to pay for it. Wasn't my fault she gave me the wrong size shake. It isn't my fault their satellite system couldn't handle  the storm. But yet, they expect me to continue paying for regular service? As my man Sadat X would say, "Man, funk dat!" It was a song he wrote about things that just got on his nerves everyday. It came out in the 90's. (if you remember it send me a message) It was a pretty simple song, but it had a nice beat and was funny. So everytime I get frustrated, i say "Mannnn, funk dat!" Here are the lyrics...i wish i had the audio to it because the beat is pretty, well, funky. Everytime after he says funk dat--just imagine a quirky little beat that goes 'bum bum-bum-bum-bum (twice)' Enjoy!    Question why is it that every time I walking down the street Somebody wants to stop me Just to give me a flier. Come on man !! Funk dat !! (insert bum bum-bum-bum bum here) Get out of my way !! (bum bum-bum-bum bum again) Question why is that everytime I walk into the bank The tellers look at me like I am the one that robbed them last night Come on man !! Funk dat !! What are you looking at !! Question why is it that everytime I turn on the radio I hear the same five songs fifteen times a day for three months Man funk that !! Get a new dj !! Question why is it that bums ask me for money when I aint got none, What is it an idiot thing or something? Let me remind this dude he aint got no money hunh ! Man fuk that!!!! Get a job !! You know everytime I see me neighbor she tells me to stay out of trouble, The other one looks at me like I am the one that got her daughter strung out Come on man !! Funk dat !! What are you looking at!! (Sighing) Seems like eveytime it never fails it never fails Im just chilling in my crib minding My own business and somebody wants to call me just to talk about nothing Funk dat !! Get a life !! Question why is it that when I go out to a night club Only the ugly chicks want to step to me, I mean like i'm ugly or something ha What you mean ha! Funk dat !! Get out of my face !!   sorry, this song makes me laugh everytime... you must have to hear it for yourself. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Be fair - Apr. 7, 2006 6:41 pm - Show/hide this post If you get a chance, check out the Multicultural Fair this Saturday at the University of Mary Washington. It's a chance to get a taste of the many cultures that we are all surrounded by. They'll be dancing, crafts and lots and lots of food. It'll happen rain or shine! Be there, I will. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Allergy season - Apr. 4, 2006 3:37 pm - Show/hide this post My God babies, Bria and Cayla, are doing fine. They are both home after they and their mom  contracted E. Coli. And guess where they got it from--a hamburger she ate at the hospital a day or so before delivery. Can you believe that? You just never know! In other news, the weather is loveley today. I just love it--except when my allergies kick in. Then it's all over. If you have allergies, then you know what I mean. Cherry blossom are beautiful, but they make my nose drip faster than a leaking faucet. When pollen season gets really heavy, I can sometimes use an entire box of tissues. In my family, we call that the 'Uncle Tommy nose." His allergies are worse than mine, I think. He has this thing he does when his nose is itching and bothering him. It's a special technique where he places his wrist on his nose and goes around and around in a circle and it makes the funniest noise. When I was little, I loved to watch him do it cause it was so funny and entertaining. Now, I'm developing the habit. And it sometimes stops the nose itch. So while the Spring delights us all with beautiful lillies and tulips and bogonias! OH MY! It gives me a case of the Uncle Tommy nose, too. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

What's the hold-up on debit cards? - Mar. 31, 2006 4:25 pm - Show/hide this post During my stay in Roanoke last weekend, I retreated in the lovely Doubletree hotel (I love how they give you fresh chocolate chip cookies when you check-in). I stayed for two nights and my bill was $311.36. (Guess the cookies aren't free afterall). I paid for it with my check card. However, when I went to check the balance of my bank account later that day, I learned that the hotel charged me $356 and some change. My first thought was--"I can't believe they charged me for taking the little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, lotion and the plastic shower cap." But those wouldn't  added up to $45. So I immediately called the hotel to ask why I got charged more than what my original bill was. The receptionist said that they generally hold a certain amount of money until the transaction goes through to make sure the bill is paid in full. Huh? The same thing happened to Stafford resident Susan Ward, who had a hold, or pre-authorization amount of $75 placed on her debit card for only $26 worth of regular unleaded gas at Wawa.   Their corporate office told her the same thing: That they hold up to three times the amount spent until it clears, in her case, it took three days. (Same thing applies for other gas stations, such as Sheetz, BP, Amoco and Hess when you pay with a debit card--it doesn't happen as often with credit cards). Huh? Suppose Susan or I had budgeted to have a certain amount taken out, and charged something else that was close to the $0 balance. That 'hold' would put us in the red. Then our banks would have charged us anywhere from $25 to $35 in overdraft fees. That isn't fair! I wondered, is this legal? The answer: yes, it is legal. Apparently, holding a certain amount of money protects the gas companies, hotels and car-rental busiensses from customers that have insufficient funds in their account. Jeff Lenard, a spokesman for the National Association of Convenience Stores, says the stations decide the amount, and each store has a different policy, but it is the customer's bank that decides how long the hold is held. He said the retailers (gas stations, hotels, etc.) never have access to that "extra" money and do not benefit from it at all. Lenard said the last thing retailers want is for their customers to not have enough money. He said that extra money could be used to buy other products in their store. He also pointed out who may benefit from holds that cause an account to go in the red: The banks. (he said it, not me). But think about it, if your account dips below zero--who gets an extra $25 to $35? The banks. Things that make yo go HMmmm! The reason so may of us, myself included, are using credit and debit cards to pay for gas, is because the price of it is so darn high! According to Triple A's Fuel Gauge Report, the national average of regular unleaded went from $2.16 this day (March 31) last year to $2.53 today. That's a 37 cent jump, and has led to a significant increase in the use of plastic at the pump. According to the Alexandria-based National Association of Convenience Stores, nearly 80 percent of motor fuel purchases made by October 2005 were made with debit or credit cards. That's up 10 percent from last June and up 26 percent from 2004. So, people, my beloved readers, be careful with your cards. And make sure you save enough pocket change to buy the paper--you don't need a debit for that! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

'We are family' so we gather - Mar. 28, 2006 4:08 pm - Show/hide this post M Y MATERNAL grand- mother's maiden name was Mabel Johnson, but there wasn't a drop of Johnson blood in her body. She took the last name of her stepfather, whom her mother married when she was 5 years old. It wasn't until she was married with five children that she met her biological father, Jordan Watkins. He was completely blind, but for years had run a newspaper stand in Brooklyn. (It's no wonder I work for a newspaper now--it's in my roots.) Grandma Mabel--or Gramaple, as we call her--couldn't remember what year it was when they met. But she did remember the words that kept them apart for so long. "Let sleeping dogs lie," her aunt by marriage told Jordan every time he came to Virginia to see his daughter. She told him Mabel was doing just fine and he didn't need to come interfering in her life. So he didn't. "But he sent for me when she died," Grandma told me. After that, they got to know each other and developed a solid relationship from afar. She ended up temporarily moving in with him in New York to take a job that paid enough to help put my mom through college. As time passed, she kept meeting people who said they were her cousin, aunt, or her father's nephew's best friend's next-door neighbor, who was supposedly kin to her somewhere down the line. That's when Grandma realized she didn't know her whole family, and they didn't know her. It took a few years to plan, but once she gathered enough names and addresses, she mailed invitations for a family meet-and-greet. In 1988, she hosted the first Puryear, Llewelyn and Watkins family reunion. It has been held every two years since. Puryear was Grandma's mother's maiden name. Llewelyn was the maiden name of her maternal grandmother. And Watkins, of course, came from her father. This August, we will celebrate another reunion--and we are gearing up for it now. It will be held in my grandmother's hometown of Clarksville in Mecklenburg County--just north of the North Carolina state line. The next reunion will be held somewhere else, but then the following reunion will come back to Clarksville, and so on. The agenda is simple. Family members from all over arrive and get settled on Friday. Saturday, we have a big picnic with everything from casseroles to chitterlings. We plan a few activities and tell the story of our family. Everyone brings something to sell in the family auction. Proceeds from that go toward a scholarship for any family members currently attending college. A more formal banquet is held later that night--we get dressed up, eat and have a showcase, which in the past has included talent and fashion shows and sharing our achievements. We also memorialize family members who have died since the last reunion--my mother will be on the list this year. And we always end the banquet with everybody doing the Electric Slide. I swear, that song has to be the black family reunion anthem. Most of Sunday is spent in church for fellowship, and yes, we eat afterward. The PLW family reunion has been quite successful for the past 18 years. About 100 people show up from everywhere. I have kinfolk from New York, New Jersey, Washington (D.C. and state), Chicago, Maryland, North Carolina, Texas and Alaska, just to name a few. Jordan Watkins was married and had six other children--Jordan Jr., Walter, Sam, William, Geneva and Thelma (deceased). They and their children come to every reunion, too, even though they connect only on the Watkins side. From day one, they accepted my grandmother as their sister --not their half sister. At the last reunion, I met Uncle Sam's son, Tim, who bought a house in Fredericksburg last year. The first day he and his wife moved in, they called me and told me I could come over any time. That's good to know because I do work late some nights and dread the 45-minute drive back to Ashland. So cousin Tim, if you hear a knock on your door late at night, open up--it's family! To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@freelancestar.com Date published: 3/28/2006 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Marriage follow-up - Mar. 27, 2006 3:51 pm - Show/hide this post Just four days after my blog on marriage, the Washington Post published this commentary in their Sunday Outlook section on Sunday. It's a good read, and interesting perspective and goes a little more deeper into the subject of black women and marriage. And has statistics to support the author's reasons for the declining desire of black women wanting to marry. Then again, maybe it's just interesting because I'm a single, African-American female who is unsureof the concept of marriage and that majored in sociology in college. Anywho, give it a read. It could make a good conversation piece. I bet she read my blog before she wrote it. (j/k) To view the entire article, go to http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html?referrer=emailarticle   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

It's the weekend - Mar. 24, 2006 3:53 pm - Show/hide this post I'm about to get off from work soon and then my weekend begins. In just a bit, I'll be on my way to Roanoke, Va. (3.5 hours away) to attend the Virginia Press Association awards banquet. And I'll be surrounded by the best of the best in Virginia's journalism field. I'm kind of nervous because most of the people there have years and years of experience under their belts meaning I'll be at the bottom of the barrel. It's good and humbling. After they call my name and give me that piece of paper, or whatever they do, I'll be able to say that I am an award-winning journalist. And no one can take that from me. Hopefully, that will calm down a few of my family members who get nervous whenever they see me holding a pen. I was writing a a column for next week about my upcoming family reunion and how it got started. My grandmother, who founded our reunion, was telling me how it came to be. Yes, it involved absent fathers and some soul searching, but it made for a good story. When I called her back to ask some follow-up questions, she had a change of heart. Saying, she didn't want her business to be all up in the newspaper. What really happened is someone told her she shouldn't broadcast herself. So she got nervous and backed out, but she did say I could use what she already told me. After I wrote the story, I went over the facts with her and the things she told me. She said, "that sounds pretty good." And then went on and gave me more details about how she met her father. The thing is, I don't think people that knew me as a kid can see me now as a professional writer. They still think I'm "little Portsia" that used to go around wiping boogers on the wall--and then blaming it on my sister. lol. But I am a professional writer. It's what I do, and I have for nearly 4 years now. But I don't think they trust me. Yeah, some things should be kept between family, I understand that. But sometimes I think we get so caught up in keeping secrets that the truth gets lost, and our story gets lost. Just think, what if nobody ever found Anne Frank's diary? Or what if nobody wrote down things that have happened in thier lives? Or nobody kept a yearbook from high school? If not, what stories could we tell our children? Who will keep the family legacy alive after we have left this world? Why are we scared to share ourselves? Well, someone trusts me enough to tell their story. A friend of my mother's gave me a call a few months ago saying she has a lot of information in her head about her family. Some of it is funny stories, history,  crazy personalities and just interesting stuff that would be ashamed to be lost once she was gone, she said. So she wanted me to write a book about her family based on the information she could remember. This is a tough challenge, but one I'm looking forward to do. Leaving something behind that will always be around. I wish more people would share their stories--share the truth. Have a good weekend, I'll be back on Monday. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Another Round - Mar. 23, 2006 7:35 pm - Show/hide this post They finally gave 'Another Round' it's own space. So be sure to check out the skinny on the area's watering holes and night spots through the eyes of P. Smitty and K.Diddy and Mike Zitz and Craig Schulin. Yeah that's right! We get paid to go out and have fun. It's a new thing we just started in February, and it runs in Weekender twice a month. Be sure to check us out! If we know you guys like it, we'll keep doing it. So show us some love! www.fredericksburg.com/community/entertainment/bars ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Brain teasers - Mar. 23, 2006 2:36 pm - Show/hide this post My aunt sent me this in an e-mail today... I got them all wrong. Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down) < /U> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.... .Maybe. Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again! Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.... Like you!     PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE! (At least my aunt thought I was smart) ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I do... or do I? (Marriage) - Mar. 22, 2006 8:27 pm - Show/hide this post A few months ago, I had a boyfriend. Probably the best boyfriend I ever had in my life. We went to the same high school. I was the new girl, and he was a star linebacker. I was more outgoing, he was the quiet type. We were totally different.I don't know how we ended up going to the Prom together senior year. We both went off to college, and didn't really talk to each other for about 5 years--other than saying 'hey, what's up' on AIM. He did spent an extra year in college because he transferred from Hampton to JMU. I visited him at his school last April, even though he never visited mine. We started hanging out more and talking on  the phone. My family liked him, and his family, from what I could tell, really liked me. It only made sense. Soon after that we were an official couple. It was cool. We'd go out to eat. He cooked for me a couple of times. Took me ice skating and bowling. Sent flowers to the office on my birthday. He was very handsome and a perfect gentleman. He was sweet, too. He even volunteered to be a pallbearer at my mother's funeral. He was the perfect guy. To be honest, I really didn't know what he saw in me. And what did I do to my perfect boyfriend? I broke up with him. I told him I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. And I'm still not. It wasn't that he did anything  wrong, I couldn't have asked for a better boyf, but things were too good. And that was scary to me. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I felt like I was getting close to the edge of the diving board--and I'm no where near being ready to jump into the pool of marriage. And that's where I felt like the relationship was going, that was the only place it felt like it could go. And that was just too much pressure. Like all little girls did, I had dreams of a perfect wedding in the perfect church wearing a perfect dress and my dad walking me down the aisle to marry my perfect groom. I still have that dream, only I'm a spectator--watching my make-believe wedding from the sidelines. The reason? It could be because I'm not sure if I believe in marriage. I mean, yes, I do want to get married and have maybe 4 or 5 kids, but I'm not sure if it's something I believe in or that I am socialized to believe in. (If that makes sense). Maybe it's because I'm the child of divorcees. My parents split right before I started kindergarten (traumatizing) and to this day, I don't really know why. (Maybe, it's best that I don't). But anyway, growing up my parents were never together. So I never experienced "seeing" marriage first hand. Both sets of my grandparents stayed married, but from what I've gathered, they had their problems, big ones, but stayed together because they had children and that's what you did back then. Then that makes me think were my sister and I not enough to keep my parents together? Out of my 7 direct aunts and uncles, four of them have been married at least twice and one is divorced. My dad remarried in 2003, my mom never did. What does marriage really mean when all it takes is a piece of paper to end it, then if you want, you can do it all over again with someone else? Was the first marriage just practice? Did you really mean it? Where did the love go? I thought death was the only thing that could do you apart. I know I might anger some people with these comments (No offense to divorcees or the remarried), but these things go through my mind. Is marriage a vow between the couple and God, or is it just a public promise to society? And what good is that vow if it can be voided and that promise broken? I hope I don't jinx myself, but if and when I do get married, that man needs to know that he is in it for the long haul. Because divorce is not going to be an option. I don't want myself or my children to go through that ordeal. And I won't. Now that I think about it, my perfect boyfriend did do one thing wrong: He told me I was the girl he could see himself marrying. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Yes, this is my hair... I bought it! - Mar. 21, 2006 12:47 pm - Show/hide this post No, my hair didn't grow overnight. No, it didn't take several hours to do. And yes, all of this hair is mine. Because I bought it. Ever since the beginning of the year, I have been "Ms. Weave Wonder." That's right, I've been sporting a different weave for every day of the week. And I'm proud of it. I got tired of walking around with a nappy and not so happy afro or a jacked-up back ponytail. So I decided to do what was easier and what looked a lot better. I bought a couple of ponytails. There's the Barbie ponytail, the Shirley Temple ponytail, the Doo Doo bun and my favorite, which I shall call the sexy Mamasita ponytail. I wear those all the time. I have two more ponytails that I don't wear as often, one is a burgundy crimp pony and the other is is blonde and black loose crimp--which looks better on K. Diddy (Kristin Davis) than it does on me. But I've switched it up now. I'm not sporting a ponytail. Just long hair that sweeps pass my shoulders. They're called tracks. I have about 10 of them glued to my scalp, mixed in with my real hair. I like it. It looks good and doesn't require much maintenance. All I have to do is wrap it up before I go to bed in a satin scarf--And I have to do that with my regular hair anyway, so keeping it up is a breeze. My cousin. who works at a salon in Richmond, did it over the weekend after putting in a relaxer. The style took about 1 hour to complete after she washed and blowdried my natural hair. She then glued in each track and flatironed my real hair so it could look somewhat natural. The style should last about a week, 2 weeks if I'm lucky. So, I have to wear a shower cap each time I get in the shower nor can I let myself get real sweaty. I like my new 'do. And I like my hair...it's all mine for less than $20. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Hablo Espanol? - Mar. 20, 2006 6:16 pm - Show/hide this post I think I agreed to go out on a date with Andres, one of my Cracker Barrel co-workers who only speaks Spanish. He and several other Spanish-speaking chicos and chicas work in the back washing dishes or in the prep area. Thinking I was smart because I took four years of Spanish in high school and two in college, I started talking to them in the little bit of Spanish I actually know. So now they talk to me all the time, sometimes I understand. Most of the time I don't. "Hablo Espanol?", they'd ask me. "Poco," I answer confidently. Then they'd ramble on to me in their native language speaking really fast. Trying to keep up and not offend them, I mostly just nod my head while trying to translate the verbs in my head. Kinda like how you nod yes when someone is talking, but you aren't really listening. Anyway, Andres is talking and I'm nodding and nodding. About 5 minutes later, as I'm still trying to figure out in my head what he was saying, I realize he said something about going out for drinks after work. But it's like 5 minutes later, I can't go back and be like, "Uhhh, no puedo salir para las bebidas esta noche." So I just say in Spanish, "one day." And every night since then, he asks me,"esta noche?" (tonight?) And i always say, "one day." And nothing is wrong with going out with Andres, he seems like a nice guy, but my concern is, what will we talk about? And in what language? I can speak enough Spanish to get me through Spanish class, but not to carry on a drawn out conversation with someone who hardly speaks any English at all. I don't even think a date could be possible without a translator. So, what would be the point? But I don't want to hurt his feelings either. The other day I heard him talking to Ollie, a dishwasher who speaks English. And Ollie said, "What? Portsia is your girlfriend?" Andres nodded. Ollie, who has the best laugh ever, just cracked up and said in the most Spanish way he could, "Haha, you comico. You should be a comidiano." I didn't laugh at all. I stood nearby trying to remember if he had asked me to be his girlfriend and if I agreed unknowingly. So, now I'm left in a predicament where I'm trying to avoid an impossible date with a Spanish guy who already thinks I'm his girlfriend. Maybe that explains why the other day he said "Estoy loco para ti," or I'm crazy for you. So about that date, I guess I'll just have to stick to what I've been saying..."one day." ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

I am a (god) parent. - Mar. 20, 2006 2:29 pm - Show/hide this post I got the call at 2:04 a.m. Saturday morning. I am a mommy, a god-mommy, that is. Bria Lynn (5 lbs and 8 oz.) and Cayla Yvette (4 lbs. and 15 oz.) were born to my best friend Brandi and her boyfriend Corey. Those punks already asked me when I'm babysitting! Cayla is so small they had to keep her in an incubator and on a feeding tube because she was too weeak to suck on her own. But I held Bria and she was so tiny and precious. The whole time she didn't cry. A couple of times, she's just lay there sleeping,t hen a big smile would come on her face. She slept the whole time, so I never saw her open her eyes. I'm kinda glad, cuz if she did and saw my hair all over the place, she might have screamed. I peeped at Cayla through the glass window of the nursery sleeping peacefully as well. They are fraternal twins. Bria looks lik Brandi and Cayla looks like Corey. Corey called me first after they were born and gave me the important details. I talked to Brandi later who told me she was tired, although the epidural had her numb from the waist down. She went into labor around 7:30 on Friday and the first one was born after midnight. She said Cayla was crying when she came out. I told her "I'd be crying too if I came out of your stank butt!" Haha, got to love best friends. Congrats to the new parent. Me, the godparent. Oh, Brandi and Corey too. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

How rude? - Mar. 17, 2006 4:22 pm - Show/hide this post Let me tell you about some terrible customer service I had recently. I took my "Survivor" in to get an oil change at this place in Richmond that I LOVE to go to because they change my oil, top off my fluids under the hood, clean my windshield and vacuum my carpet all for like $21. (you can probably figure out where it is from that). As usual there is a line and I wait patiently. Once I get to the front of the line, one of the mechanic comes in telling the desk clerk he doesn't have the right kind of part for the Volvo parked outside and can't complete the order. Apparently, the clerk had already told the driver that, so she told the mechanic to go tell her himself (Rudeness #1). The mechanic asked the lady to come to the front, where he explained to her that Volvos neede a specific type of part that they didn't have and that's why he couldn't fix it. She nodded and said OK. Then the desk clerk--let's call her Tasha since that was her real name anyway--got all loud and was like "I told that dummy that." What? I couldn't believe she had just said that so loud in front of the lady and all the other customers (Rudeness #2). Trying to mind my own business, I just looked at her weird and proceeded to put in my order for an oil change. She put in my phone number, which pulled up my name. "Are you Portsia?," she said. I answered yes. "Who be spelling these names up in this computer?" she said to one of the other employees while pointing at the name on the screen. I peeked at it, and said with an attitude, "Actually, that is the correct way to spell my name." As if she didn't hear what the heck I said, she pointed at my name again and said "Like this?" It took all the strength in me not to roll my neck and ask her "who be doing your dental work," since her front tooth was missing. (Yeah, I was goiong to take it there. What?) But I held my tongue and gave the other employee a look that let him know I was not happy with one-tooth Tasha because that was Rudeness #3 and I won't having it. Best believe Wal-Mart... I mean the place I went to get my oil change will be getting a letter from me about their customer service in the Auto section! Then Tasha can ask, "Who be snitchin' on me up in here?" It was P-o-r-t-s-i-a. Spelled like that!     ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

I might be a God Momma today - Mar. 17, 2006 3:18 pm - Show/hide this post I got a call at 1:38 p.m. today from Corey, Brandi's boyfriend. He told me she started having contractions and they took her to the hospital just in case the twins come out today. She's expecting two girls, which for some reason she isn't naming  either one after me. Corey said the doctor said they could be born in the next 48 hours. I can't wait. Just as long as she doesn't give me the painful details of the birth, I'll be fine. If she has them tomorrow, I can most likely be there--but then again, if it was ME, I don't know if I would want everybody in the delivery room all up in my business down there. When we all had dinner the other day, I asked Corey if he was going to hold her hand during delivery. He said, "Of course." But I know Brandi, and that girl got a firm grip. I hope Corey gets to use that hand again. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

"The Hills Have Eyes" - Mar. 16, 2006 6:19 pm - Show/hide this post Brandi, my best friend from high school is expecting twins any day now. "I am so ready to go into labor," she said while snacking on cherries and pickles. And she is not joking. On Monday, I hung out with her at her house since I had the day off and don't get to see her that often. Her boyfriend and little brother, who both work in construction or something togethr, also had the day off. So we figured we'd all go out and do something instead of sitting in the house. Brandi, ready to unload her bundles of joy, suggested we go to the movies. "Let's go see "The Hills Have Eyes"," she said. We all looked at her as if she was crazy. "Brandi, you don't need to be watching no scary movie. You'd get scared and end up giving birth in the theatre," I said. The look she gave me was like "that's the point!" Not wanting to argue with a pregnant woman, we went to Virginia Center Commons Regal theatre to buy our tickets. And boy were we in for a surprise, or at least I was. That movie was sooooo disturbing. More shocking than scary. I'm not even sure if it was a good movie or not. What constitutes a good scary movie? Is it good if it scares you? Because I did jump several times. But the images and actions were so repulsive that I found myself covering my mouth in shock instead of covering my eyes. Does that make it bad? The movie, which is a remake of a 1977 movie of the same name, is about a nice family traveling through the desert, who eventually end up stranded and become the targets of these disformed and disfigured people living in old mines. They kill and eat anyone coming through because they hate regular humans--they are disfigured bc they were affected by nuclear waste testing performed by the govt and 'regular' people supposedly made them the way that they are. Anyway, they killed several members of the family and showed a very unnecessary rape and other things that were just downright disturbing. That's the only word I can say to describe what I felt about this movie. Anyway, don't go see this movie. I'd rather watch House of Wax. And, although Brandi was disturbed as much as I was, she didn't go into labor.   ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

- Mar. 15, 2006 6:15 pm - Show/hide this post Today was the weirdest day. My day started as usual, nothing was extremely different about it than any other day. But mid-afternon, I got this weird feeling. I didn't have a headache or bellyachce, but it felt like my brain was hurting. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't really move. I just sat at my desk staring at my monitor and my list of things to do. I didn't know where to start, I COULDN'T start. Was I having a panic attack? Nervous breakdown? I'm not sure, but it was a crazy feeling. I didn't know what to do. I asked a co-worker if she ever felt like that, and she suggested I take a 10 minute break and drink some water. So I did. What was it? Maybe, I do have just a few too many things on my plate right now. Working two jobs, a 2-hour drive everyday, trying to close on a house, writing a book, being there for my family and friends, all while debating when I should go to grad school or start a relationship or end a friendship. Could I be overwhelmed? I'm assuming people have days like this often. To relax, I put on my headphones and decided to listen to some slow R&B--which I go to sleep to every night. That's when I noticed and could relate to the words of Raheem Devaughn: "Until you know my joy, know my pain, and know my struggles Until you've walked these shoes, paid my dues, and felt my troubles Until you've shared my tears, known my fears, in all my years Only til then, you only know what you think you know." I don't really know what my point is, but those lyrics really hit home for me today.  People are fast to judge others. They look down on them or get jealous because they are doing what they got to do. Or maybe they think you aren't doing good enough, so they criticize. But they don't know what that person may be going through. People, just relax. And mind your own business. Get a life, and stay out of other people's. That's all I really got to say. And I'm still feeling kind of weird, and very unproductive. I'm going home. Peace. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

online crossword puzzle - Mar. 15, 2006 10:53 am - Show/hide this post A lot of people have hobbies. Some people like to draw, jog, collect coins, etc. My mentor and friend Laura Moyer enjoys playing Scrabble. Me? I'm a begining crossword puzzle addict. If I don't read the paper one day (yes, there are some days that I skip it), best believe I will still make my way to the back to clip out the crossword near the daily comics. I go over the questions at least 4 or 5 times before getting stumped and having to wait til the next day for the answers. It's my reminder that I DON'T know everything, like I think I do. We all need a little reality check sometimes. I wonder who comes up with those things. Like in today's paper: 18 across is nap. 20 down is Ben. 11 across is... who knows. But it's all fun. So I was especially pleased to see that the FLS has now posted an online crossword puzzle for my word boggling pleasure. I can put in the words  or change them and I don't have to wait for the next day to get the answers. whoo hoo! You don't have to ask what I'll be doning in my spare time. ( 2 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

out of the office - Mar. 9, 2006 8:41 pm - Show/hide this post I'm going to be off tomorrow and Monday because I'm working the weekend. Whoo hoo. It's rare that I get two weekdays off. So I'm gonna use those days to rest and get some much needed things done that I need to do at home. I just ordered a vanilla milkshake and it was really good. So I kept slurping and slurping and slurping, then all of a sudden a piece of strawberry was in my mouth. ewww, why is that in my vanilla shake. K. Diddy (Kristin Davis) and I are going to CHord's tonight for the next edition of 'Another Round.' Be sure to check it out next week in WeekEnder! Peace  ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Hard work, no tip - Mar. 8, 2006 6:38 pm - Show/hide this post Last night, while working at Cracker Barrel, we got a call that a party of 50 would be coming in to eat around 6:30 p.m. SO we were ready when they came. It was about 42 kids and 8 adults. The adults sat together, and the kids were scattered about taking up most of the middle section. I had the adult table, who were last to order because they didn't sit down until all the kids were situated. They ordered Fancy Fixin's including two ribeye steaks and a few salads. We also had a lot of other customers in the store as well, so the six servers on duty at the time had their hands full. As usual, it takes the ribeye a long time to cook. So the adults were waiting. The kids had stuff like pancakes and CFTs which don't take long to cook. Anyway, the adult table got upset that the kids were finished before they were and they couldn't supervise them properly because they were eating. One of the adults got really irate and caused a scene in my section. Long story short, the 50-party bus left and none of the six servers got a tip. So not fair! Servers have no control over when the food comes out. They could have at least left each server $1. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Laptop help - Mar. 8, 2006 6:30 pm - Show/hide this post Alrighty, As you all may or may not know, I commute to work everyday. What would be handy is if I could take my computer with me everywhere I go, just in case I need it. So, I'm on the hunt for the perfect laptop/notebook or whatever you want to call it. I need something that is durable, that has a little more than standard features and is not toooo expensive. Brand doesn't matter to me, but I want it to be dependable for work and play. And a CD/DVD burner would be nice. Anyone got any ideas on what to get, where to go, how much I should expect to pay? ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Family walks on all fours - Mar. 7, 2006 2:21 pm - Show/hide this post This is an interesting story...of evolution? FIVE brothers and sisters who can only walk naturally on all fours are being hailed as a unique insight into human evolution, after being found in a remote corner of rural Turkey. Scientists believe that the family may provide invaluable information on how Man evolved from a four-legged hominid to develop the ability to walk on two feet more than three million years ago.... Click the link to continue reading: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2072832,00.html ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Congrats business team!!! - Mar. 2, 2006 6:36 pm - Show/hide this post   Meghann Cotter, Cathy Jett and Portsia Smith of The Free Lance-Star received a first place award in the economics education category from the Virginia Press Association for their "Living Wage" series.   Judges noted that the writers easily explained, in layman's terms, the growing national debate on income inadequacy and its effects on various subjects' lives. Very interesting reading.   Portsia Smith of The Free Lance-Star also received an honorable mention in the  one-time special effort article category for her piece on "Intro to Selling," which featured young REALTOR Mario Alfaro.   Judges comments: This article was well-written, easily read and of interest to anyone. The case study presented was relevant and especially appealing to a younger demographic. ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Health alert for Ice chewers - Feb. 27, 2006 3:15 pm - Show/hide this post My name is Portsia Smith, and I'm an iceoholic. I don't know why, but I just love to chew, crunch and appetize on frozen cubes of H2O. I've heard that that habit means you have a certain frustration of a specific kind, and it lowers your amount of Iron, as a nurse once told me when I was a rejected blood donor because my blood Iron was too low. Not too mention, chewing on ice ruins your teeth. If you are an avid ice chewer like myself, check out the story below. It may change your chewing ways: ABC News reports: Jasmine Roberts never expected her award-winning middle school science project to get so much attention. But the project produced some disturbing results: 70 percent of the time, ice from fast food restaurants was dirtier than toilet water. The 12-year-old collected ice samples from five restaurants in South Florida — from both self-serve machines inside the restaurant and from drive-thru windows. She then collected toilet water samples from the same restaurants and tested all of them for bacteria at the University of South Florida. In several cases, the ice tested positive for E. coli bacteria, which comes from human waste and has been linked to several illness outbreaks across the country. "These [bacteria] don't belong there," said Dr. David Katz, medical contributor to "Good Morning America." "It's not cause for panic, although it is alarming because what she found is nothing new. You're not more likely to get sick now. But she's done us a favor by sounding the alarm." Both Roberts and Katz said that the ice is likely dirtier because machines aren't cleaned and people use unwashed hands to scoop ice. Toilet water is also surprisingly bacteria-free, because it comes from sanitized city water supplies. Can we say GROSS? ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

The movie "Crash" - Feb. 24, 2006 5:07 pm - Show/hide this post You think you know who you are. But you have no idea. If you haven't seen the movie "Crash," you need to. The movie, shows how complete strangers who have no ties whatsoever 'crash' into each other in the course of one day and shows how they perceive and react to each other based on society's stereotypes. This movie stirs so many emotions that you can't help but think about yourself and the way you think of others. Crash features a top-notch cast which includes: Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, Brendan Fraser, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Loretta Devine, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillipe and Larenz Tate. All put in superb performances in a tight script which is simultaneously witty, heartwarming, shocking, tragic and in some scenes very uncomfortable,  which rings true with viewers of all demographics. I saw this movie this summer when it came out in the theatres, and afterwards I realized how much of a racist I was. I was moved. I watched it again this week at a forum at the University of Mary Washington and realized I'm still a racist, and so is everyone else around me. I don't want to give the movie away, but it is alarming to know that when put under extreme, uncomfortable and possibly life-altering situations, we are not the person that we think we are. When we are angry, we are not the person we spent our whole lives trying to be. When it comes down to it, we are all fakes. Are we just chameleons, blending in to what is around us? But under pressure, we turn into dragons and rear our ugly heads--our true selves. On the flip side, stereotypes do exist for a reason. How much should we see them as the biased generalizations that they are and how much should we take them seriously, or at least into consideration? "Crash" puts all these questions in your head that make you want to really sit down in a room and analyze your whole being...and the people you crash into. It makes you wonder who they REALLY are. Is that "bad cop" really bad or just having a really bad day? Is the good cop a true boy Scout? Does the politician that speaks up for equal rights for women and minorities really believe in the stances he takes, or are his efforts just publicity stunts? If given a choice, do you do "the right thing" or do what is in your best interest? What would you do? The thing is you never know...not until you get in that extreme, uncomfortable and possibly life-altering situation. Then you'll see whether you're the chameleon or the dragon.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

In memory of... - Feb. 23, 2006 5:26 pm - Show/hide this post Our community has suffered a tragic loss.    Our hearts and prayers are with the families of the area businessmen that lost their lives in yesterday's plane crash.  These four friends - Richard Lee Potter, Albert "Buck" Jacoby, Graham Green III, and Michael Pappas - will be deeply missed by all who knew them.  These men were leaders and role models in the business community and were active in local organizations.  We extend our deepest sympathy to everyone who is mourning this loss.   And R.I.P. Aunt Ann Smith. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Bringing history to the present - Feb. 22, 2006 6:00 pm - Show/hide this post There's a black history month event taking place this weekend that you guys should check out. FREDERICKSBURG, VA -  Thursday, February 2, 2006 - The Center for African American Genealogical Research, Inc. (CAAGRI) has announced that it will for the first time in history bring together the direct descendants of Harriet Tubman and Charles Nalle. Nalle is the only publicly known fugitive slave to have been freed from slavery during a dramatic confrontation in Troy, New York over 145 years ago. The event is scheduled for Saturday, February 25, 2006 at 6:30 pm in the  Headquarters Library Theater in downtown Fredericksburg. "We are obviously pleased with this unprecedented, historic meeting of the two families. It just goes to show the kind of history that can be made if you've done your genealogy homework," said Paula D. Royster, the organizations founder and CEO. A tribute to the life and legacy will be made to Oliver W. Hill, Sr. one of eight Civil Rights attorneys in the Brown v. Board of Education.  Royster said, "Mr. Hill is a living legacy and we want to make certain that we give him our thanks, while we can. We've also invited some of the former students of Moton High School and the Ralph Bunche Alumni to be in attendance for this event." Motivational Speaker/author, Paul Lawrence Vann will give the keynote address followed by a book signing of his most recent publication: "Living on Higher Ground" and musical selections will be performed by the talented upcoming singer Miss. ÃLeawnny McKissick. The public is invited to attend this free event to be held at the Central Rappahannock Regional Headquarters Library located at 1201 Caroline Street, Fredericksburg, VA . Seating is limited, so please reserve yours today by calling the library at: 540.372.1144 or by email: registration@caagri.org.  About The Center for African American Genealogical Research, Inc. (CAAGRI) Founded in 2004, The Center for African American Genealogical Research, Inc. is a non-profit organization that provides free genealogical data to the community at no cost. The only organization of its kind, CAAGRI’s specialized services provides a location for African Americans to conduct in-depth genealogical research, free computer training, mentoring programs for at risk youth and low-moderate income families and organizes special projects that include historical preservation efforts.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

my weekend - Feb. 20, 2006 4:44 pm - Show/hide this post Not too much went on this weekend. But there was one thing that made me take a moment to think. On Saturday, my best friend from high school had a baby shower. She and her man are expecting twin girls in April, but by looking at the size of her belly, I'm not sure if she'll make it that far. Put aside her grunts, moans and late night cravings, she's happy about her upcoming bundles of joys and the creation of her very own family. He's ecstatic too. I watched them in amazement as he bear-hugged her from behind holding her big belly. She made an uncomfortable face at him, but smiled because he was there. I can't believe my best friend is having a baby---wait--two babies. My ex, who happens to be her cousin, was there too. He also took that big leap into parenthood. He has two kids, who are as cute as they can be. The babies don't end there. Two of my good friends from middle school birthed daughters this year, my play cousin--we're not cousins but we tell everybody we are--had a little boy recently. And a few more of my peeps from high school have taken on the role of mommy. Here I am. A single female with a degree, two-jobs by choice and I'd say I have a good amount of common and book sense. But I'd be scared as hell to have a baby right now, or even ever. I mean, yes, I like the idea of raising a little boy or girl that looks just like me, but at the same time I think about how hard it is. Changing diapers, baby formula, breastfeeding, outgrowing clothes, a bunch of questions, and Lord knows I can't stand a crying baby. And the thought of giving birth--especially after reading Jim Hall's story about the woman who gave birth in her Stafford County home at 6 in the morning. I'm just not ready for all of that.  I don't know how my friends, the new parents, can do it. I guess they do it because they have to. It takes a lot to raise a kid, especially so young. All I know is...I got a long time until I will be having any of my own. ..........And don't think I'mma be doing any babysitting either!!! ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Another Round - Feb. 16, 2006 6:49 pm - Show/hide this post Hey yall, Hope you checked out Weekender today. Today was the debut of Portsia Smith and Kristin Davis's edition of Another ROund, a new feature the FLS started that reviews bars and clubs in the area. Kristin and I are hitting up area clubs. Mike Zitz and Craig Schulin are sippin it up at area bars. Our first club was Uncle Sam's in Central Park.--wanted to start with somewhere local. THen we'll expand out to other place between Richmond and DC. I'd like to give a shout out to Eugene from Texas, he was my dance partner at Uncle Sam's that night. I don't know him, but he made sure I had fun dancing. I'm not gonna give the review away, so make sure you give it a read. And try to get the hard copy--because you can't see the cute picture on the Internet version. Ciao. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

My very own necklace - Feb. 14, 2006 3:37 pm - Show/hide this post Apparently, I have a necklace. I mean, my very own necklace that is named after me. Well, it might not be named after me personally, but it has my unique spelling and everything. So, if it isn't named after me, I will pretend that it is. (Hey, why not?) Anyway, it's a nice-looking necklace. I think I might cough up the $70 to get one. Check it out: http://www.pro-masystems.ca/Default.aspx?DN=4123,3943,11,1,Documents I'm gonna get a Porche next!!! ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

First love resides in the heart - Feb. 13, 2006 5:09 pm - Show/hide this post AS VALENTINE'S DAY approaches, I am reminded that I am still single. No boyfriend. No significant other. No flowers coming my way tomorrow. But it's all good. Although I am not currently attached, Feb. 14 does make me reminisce about someone special. His name is Dwon, and he was my first love. We met in the summer of 1999 when we both worked at the mall in Glen Allen, between Ashland and Richmond. I was 16. He was 20, and the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I couldn't believe it when he asked for my name and number. We were very different, yet we had a lot to talk about. After work, we'd call each other and stay up laughing and arguing because we both liked to be right. After a week of flirting on the clock and late-night conversations on the phone, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I pinched myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming. We spent a lot of time together after that. His family became my new family and sometimes we even finished each other's sentences. Around him, I could let down my hair, kick off my shoes and just be myself. That's something I felt I couldn't do as a teenager in high school. Back then, I had to prove I was cool enough for the cool kids, responsible enough for my parents and smart enough for college. It was a lot of pressure. With Dwon, nothing else mattered but us. All I had to do was be Portsia--or Sugar Bear, as he called me. I nicknamed him Rico because the first month we dated, I thought he was Puerto Rican, until his mother told me they were half American Indian. It didn't take long for us to become best, best friends. I could tell him anything and not worry if he'd look at me differently, and vice versa. To this day, I don't wear makeup because he told me I was pretty without it. He was different from any other guy I had dated. I told myself he was the one. I was the first girl he went to church with. He was the first guy to meet my entire family. I was the first girl to see him cry. He was the first guy to break my heart. I broke up with him July 5, 2001--not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Time separated us--12 years to be exact. That's how much time the judge gave him to think about the crimes he committed. An automatic five years for carrying a concealed weapon and the rest for some stupid stuff he got involved in--mainly self-destructive, non-violent behavior. One crime I partly blame myself for. When I was away at college, I told him I wanted him to come see me--but I didn't think he'd steal a car to do it. After that, the screams of my dad saying "Leave that boy alone. If you'll steal, you'll kill!" echoed repeatedly in my head. But I know Dwon. He'd never go that far. Still, our lives went in opposite directions. As he went to prison, I finished my degree and discovered a career that I love. I became an independent adult with responsibilities, self-direction--and freedom. Nearly five years have passed since he's been locked up, and I talk to him about once a week. I still vent to him about my frustrations, and he tells me how terrible life is inside those walls. I visit him every now and then when I get a chance to take the two-hour drive to the correctional center in southern Virginia. Behind those bars, he is No. 311687, but in my heart he was No. 1. Deep down inside, I think I still love him. But I know I have to do what is best for me. Like they say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. To reach PORTSIA SMITH: 540/374-5419 Email: psmith@freelancestar.com Date published: 2/13/2006 ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

No snow please, amen. - Feb. 10, 2006 1:53 pm - Show/hide this post Dear God, What up? Not much here just working real hard over at the paper. Looking forward to making that 45 minute commute back home when i get off. Speaking of driving, have you noticed that every time it snows, I always end up swerving across the road or in a ditch? You must have plans for me because each time, I'm never hurt nor is my car damaged. But I was hoping you could hook a sistah up and delay that snow for this weekend. I hear we are expecting to get a couple of inches. Not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but they say if I ask you, I shall receive. Thanks for all the other snow days back in the day. I really did enjoy those days when I didn't have to go to school when classes were cancelled. But this time, I think I need to make those days up, and have a non-snow weekend, hey, go ahead and make it a nsow-free winter. Do we really need the white stuff anyway. Anyway, I know you got other things to do, so I'll stop buggin you. But thanks for hearing me out. --Portsia Smith ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

The "N" word - Feb. 8, 2006 6:10 pm - Show/hide this post Here's a news story about a white English teacher in Kentucky who called a black student a nigga....not to be confused with nigger, the teacher said. Take a peek, and let me know what you think. You'll need your headphones.   http://www.whas11.com/sharedcontent/VideoPlayer/videoPlayer.php?vidId=49293&catId=49 ( 1 comments. ) VIEW COMMENTS | Post a comment

Peanut Butter & Jelly Time - Feb. 7, 2006 1:37 pm - Show/hide this post I don't know why, but I just think this is hilarious!! You'll need headphones.   http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/peanutbutter.html   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

UMW gets a new presidente - Feb. 6, 2006 6:50 pm - Show/hide this post As a recent (2004) graduate of the University of Mary Washington, I was eager to see who was going to be the new president since Bill Anderson announced his retirement. The winner, William Frawley, 52, was selected Thursday, and totally killed the 3-year-old rumor that one of the history professors was going to get it. I met Frawley today and was impressed by his ability to answer tough questions with sensible responses and a sense of humor. He hails from George Washington University where he is a dean. That's good because it means he is still in the academic mindset and is, by George, alredy familiar with the Washington family. He also had a firm handshake, that says a lot about a person too... in a good way. The firmness of a  handshake shows confidence. Something that I think showed from him even though he said he had a bit of "good stage fright." I questioned his plans to increase diversity at the school, and I was somewhat pleased with his answer, in which he said striving for diversity is not a one-man effort and would be glad to hear any ideas I might have towards reaching that goal. Since I went there and served as president of Women of Color and an active member of the Black Student Association, the Asian Student Association and Brothers of a New Direction, I know there is a lot the school can do to help these student groups that aim to reach and teach about diversity. So, Frawley, I'm going to hold you to your word. I'm ready when you are. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

You can reply now - Feb. 3, 2006 4:00 pm - Show/hide this post For those of you who said you tried to post a reply, and was unable to...you can now. Whatever the problem was, they fixed it. So reply away... I know I'm not the only one that has a bunch of stuff on my mind. :) ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Coretta Scott King - Feb. 3, 2006 3:55 pm - Show/hide this post This is a little late, but I wanted to say a few words about Coretta Scott King, the mother of the Civil Rights Movement. I didn't know much about the woman, but I do know she was more than just the wife of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As said by disc Jockey Tom Joyner: "Mrs. King was more than Dr. King's widow: She was a living symbol of what he fought and died for. With the passing of Dr. King, Rosa Parks and so many others, for many Mrs. King was the last real icon of the Civil Rights movement. The best way for all of us to honor their memory is to remember what they worked so hard to achieve and to exercise our political power the way we know they'd want us to. We can only do that if we are informed, empowered and registered to vote. We can do this whether weve ever been in a Civil Rights march or not." I think that is so true. I think that young people today, myself included, haven't really grasped the importance of the struggle that pioneers like Martin Luther and Corretta Scott King went through so we can have the rights that we have today. No, life isn't 100 percent hunky dorey, but life for black folk is a lot better than it was. But it does strike a nerve when I see all the black-on-black crime today, or hear that young people don't vote. My freshman or sophomore year of college at the (now called) University of Mary Washington, one of my history professors (Carter Hudgins), asked the class who the current vice president is. To my surprise, only about 6 or 7 of those COLLEGE STUDENTS knew it was Dick Cheney. When I think of Corretta Scott King, my mind always goes to the photo of her wearing a black veil and holding her young daughter at her husband's funeral. It is sad. And so is the state of this nation. ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Love my job - Feb. 2, 2006 4:34 pm - Show/hide this post Just in case you didn't know, I love my job. Being a reporter can be tough work... researching, reporting and having to write something that makes sense on a tight deadline. But it also has it's perks. Reporters get access to some things the average person couldn't. They get to meet interesting people everyday. They are constantly learning something new. And most importantly, they make a difference in the community. Most people don't see reporters as someone who serves the community, but when we go out and write those stories, we are doing it for our readers so that they know what is going on around them. Not all stories are good ones, and yes, I have received several hate letters. But those have been outnumbered by the many signs of gratitude that I have received from readers who said they enjoyed a story I wrote, or that it helped them in some way. That was the case for Mike Chandler, a Texas resident who came across one of my stories on the Internet. He read what I had written about Nick Sousa and Wayne Eastridge, two men who had served more than 20 years in prison for a murder that they did not commit. Chandler had been searching for Nick Sousa for years. Apparently, they were buddies who had both served in Vietnam back in the day. My story was the closest he could come to finding his long lost friend, so he gave me a call. I took his contact information and made sure Nick got it, it was up to Nick whether or not he wanted to call the man down in Texas. I spoke with Mike Chandler two days ago, and he  thanked me for connecting him with Nick, who he had been trying to reach for so many years. He said it was unfortunate that the reason he couldn't reach him was because he was wrongfully incarcerated. Chandler said he flew in and they hung out for about an hour--all it took for them to catch up since they last saw each other some time in the 1970's. I was glad to have a hand in making that happen. I don't really know either one of them, but they were were reunited---and to me, it feels so good.   ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Waitressing - Jan. 31, 2006 3:43 pm - Show/hide this post Now that the Fredericksburg world knows that I am a reporter by day and waitress by night, I hope you all take it easy on those hard-working servers out there. A few of them, who came across my story, responded by saying they were glad that I was able to point out that it's not easy work. Here's what they said in their own words: *** Wow... I just love it when someone tells the public what it is like to be a server and what you go through... I used to work for Cracker Barrel so when I read your article it was oh so familiar... I too have a full time job but because I have worked in the restaurant industry for 23 years I too work part-time a Red Lobster 2 nights a week... I just wanted to say thank you for stating the way it really is... Good luck with learning the tricks to getting your side work done earlier, I can assure you that you will do it and once you do you will be able to go to any other restaurant and those qualities will follow you. Thanks again, Dee *** I just wanted to drop you a line and  tell you that I enjoyed your article today in the paper. I did my time in restaurants when I was in school. I cooked at Sammy T's for 3 years in college and then waited tables there for another 2.   I knew the menu like the back of my hand when I became the first male waiter there in years back in 1994 and I still had trouble waiting tables. It took more a few shifts to get the swing of it and that was after being in the restaurant for 30 hours a  week for 3 years.   I believe that every human being on the planet should have to work in a restaurant serving people and cooking food for at least a month. Once you do it you will never treat a server poorly or under tip on again. Even if I get bad service they get 15%. If they did me right they will get as much as 25%.   I also always use the rule of $5 If 15% is $4 + change I always give $5. Its only another dollar or less but I remember as a server when you walk up to clear a $20 table you felt good if there was a $5 waiting for you. Good luck the article brought back some good memories. Thanks   Rick Segal   ***I wish we could get this message across to everyone in the country. Your article was great. Are you still working part time or was this just to research an article? (The answer: I'm still working there)   Donna Carre` Cracker Barrel ETC #332 Alma, Arkansas   ***I wanted to say thank you ...and wish you best of luck and many many tips...lol   Maybe you will like to join http://www.barreltalk.com   And get to chat with the rest of us that love our company.   Gaby Hardin ETC Madison, Al #217 ( 0 comments. ) Be the first to post a comment

Decisions we have to make - Jan. 30, 2006 5:27 pm - Show/hide this post We met in the 6th grade (1993). In 7th grade, I tried out for the cheerleading but didn't make the cut. In 8th grade, she tried out with me, and we both made it on the squad. Before we started the 9th grade, we both moved to different counties, and lost touch for about 5 years. But somehow, we ran into each other in Richmond one day and caught up on old times. We were best friends. Five more years have past and we have still been hanging tight. Yes, she has tap-danced on my last nerve, just as I know I have gotten on hers. But that is what friends are for, right? Got to take the good with the bad. But sometimes you got to draw a line on the bad. I'm not going to say I have been the best friend in the world, but when the going gets tough, I'm usually there. And I have a pretty good grasp of the "Girl's Unwritten Code of Ethical Friendship." That unwritten code states that as a friend, you support your pal. You know them almost as much if not better than they know themselves. You know what makes them happy and you know that there are some things that you just don't do---under any circumstances. But when that code is broken--and the trust--it takes a lot to forgive. And if that code has been broken more than once, or even twice, you have to wonder if that person is even your friend at all. It's about respect and common courtesy. I'm not one to be confrontational or overly dramatic about some things, so I know I have let a few things slide that I shouldn't have...to my disadvantage. Possibly giving the illusion that I'll say "That's my best friend, I can't get mad at her." But times have changed and best friend has crossed the line... for the last time! It's not easy, and I'm still thinking real hard about it. Ending a best friendship is more complicated and mentally exhausting than breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. They come and go. But best friends are supposed to be forever, like diamonds. A precious jewel that holds many secrets---your secrets. Old friends have a history that is older than any boy/girlfriend relationship. And is even older than most marriages. That's why it's hard to let go. But sometimes you got to wake up and do what is best fo